köp billig Prednisone köpa Cephalexin på rhodos Augmentin till katt dosering Flonase dos migrän Zenegra snabb leverans sverige Evista säker leverans Top Avana usa köpa beställa Bestina till sverige kan man köpa Keftab på gran canaria Xenical mot ångest dos köpa Zyvox utan recept köpa Precose var lagligt att beställa Celexa på nätet Gasex utan recept vad kostar Evecare med recept köpa äkta Lasuna på nätet lagligt köpa Clarina kan man köpa Finast på nätet köpa Metformin säkert online köpa Kytril alanya säker sida att köpa Topamax köpa Fucidin billig köpa Orlistat i egypten köpa Trazodone i ryssland olagligt att beställa Slimex på nätet lägsta pris Kytril säkert att köpa Styplon på nätet köpa Finax kräm köpa Exelon i amsterdam beställa Menosan i sverige köpa Benicar phuket skillnad mellan generisk Clarina vart ska man köpa Famvir Luvox dosering första gången köpa Proscar i kroatien vågar man köpa Tulasi på nätet köpa Erythromycin inrikes köpa Abana kräm beställa container Naltrexone göteborg köpa Nasonex på teneriffa är det recept på Lipitor var kan man köpa Alesse på nätet köpa Ophthacare polen kan man köpa Probalan på apoteket i spanien köpa billigt Zestoretic Precose oral jelly billig skaffa recept Moduretic köpa Femcare online lagligt köpa Keflex i tallin kan man köpa Requip på apoteket i sverige köpa Atorlip-20 tjeckien köpa Betnovate rhodos Zyloprim beställa container var köpa Xeloda på nätet var beställa Plaquenil viagra Hydrea köpa köpa Duetact i grekland pris på Lynoral med recept kan man köpa Avana på teneriffa köpa Citalopram barcelona beställa Diakof flashback köpa Clomid thailand Protonix beställa var ska man köpa Suhagra köpa Floxin på apoteket eljo Advair pris kan man köpa Carbozyne på nätet köpa Ayurslim på nätet hur beställa Procardia Charboleps online snabb leverans köpa Noroxin från turkiet Ashwagandha sverige snabb leverans Prevacid med snabb leverans Abana shampoo köpa köpa Celadrin kräm köpa Bactroban sverige flashback dosering Arimidex till hund var kan man köpa Zanaflex på nätet köpa Haldol i stockholm generisk Medrol snabb leverans Femara dos migrän köpa Styplon tyskland köpa Hytrin på nätet billigt köpa billiga Actoplus kan man köpa Orlistat i danmark köpa Minomycin i england hur får man Doxycycline på recept Anafranil turkiet pris bra ställe o köpa Decadron köpa Roxithromycin turkiet säkra sidor att köpa Dilantin Purim gel pris apoteket köpa Eldepryl i apoteket Menosan köpa sverige Flonase rapid recept beställa Imdur england fungerar generisk Naltrexone köpa Benfotiamine på nätet billigt köpa Norvasc sverige flashback flytande Rosuvastatin dos bra sida att köpa Zyrtec vart beställa Renagel köpa Lamictal online 2013 köpa generisk Neurontin i sverige köpa Xeloda lagligt på nätet köpa Atorlip-5 köpa Fincar i danmark Flagyl ER var köpa köpa Diltiazem på nätet lagligt Zovirax utan recept i sverige köpa Pristiq thailand köpa Trazodone från england vart ska man köpa Rosuvastatin Cymbalta beställa köpa Lasuna 50mg köpa Toradol i tallinn Detrol migrän dos vart kan man köpa Tegretol online köpa Zyban i usa kan man köpa Diarex i frankrike köpa Wellbutrin i stockholm köpa Arimidex i amsterdam Dipyridamole mot ångest dos pris Tretinoin apotek hjärtat behöver man recept för Ranitidine kan man köpa Zantac thailand Benfotiamine op recept köpa Duphalac jelly lagligt att köpa Buspar generisk Actonel snabb leverans köpa Ampicillin i norge Amaryl pris sverige köpa Cialis online lagligt snabb leverans av Exelon Combivent online snabb leverans Cyklokapron nervositet dosering behöver man recept för Zenegra kan man köpa Clozaril receptfritt köpa Finpecia online 2013 köpa Vantin i spanien köpa Feldene snabbt köpa Trazodone på nätet sverige köpa Diclofenac köpenhamn Bentyl nervositet dos Benfotiamine dosering första gången hur får man recept på Tofranil Tenormin utan recept spanien köpa Grifulvin V i england Diabecon pulver köpa är det olagligt att köpa Entocort kan man köpa Venlor på nätet vart ska man köpa Sominex köp Rogaine 2 snabb leverans köpa Myambutol billigt är det lagligt att köpa Cefadroxil på nätet köpa Lioresal tallinn lagligt att köpa Geriforte säker sida att köpa Aciclovir Proscar dosering migrän köpa generisk Celebrex online snabb leverans av Norvasc Zyrtec jelly snabb leverans köpa Eldepryl oral jelly köpa Serophene utomlands Lasix gel recept snabb leverans Arimidex köpa Triamterene var köpa Erythromycin phuket kan man köpa Ditropan receptfritt i danmark var ska man köpa Zaditor vart kan man köpa Pletal online var köpa äkta Lisinopril hur kan man köpa Yougara köpa Norvasc usa generisk Furosemide biverkningar pris på Lioresal sverige köpa Clozaril säkert köpa Tenormin barcelona köpa Zaditor på nätet säkert kan man köpa Entocort receptfritt köpa Finax postförskott vill du köpa Ginseng beställa Rizact på nätet lagligt kan man köpa Erexin-V i tyskland köpa Celadrin för män Plaquenil dosering urinvägsinfektion köpa Toprol tyskland lagligt att köpa Silagra på nätet kan man köpa Procardia i england köpa Lipothin säkert online köpa Ashwagandha oral jelly köpa Topamax patong kan man köpa Zanaflex på apoteket Cleocin kräm köpa vart kan man köpa Trial Erection packs online Olanzapine säker leverans köpa Seroflo i frankrike att köpa Isoptin i sverige pris för Silvitra Singulair pris sverige våga köpa Olanzapine på nätet var köper man billig Neurontin beställa Combivent billigt var köpa Acivir billigt Amitriptyline hexal köpa billig NPXL sverige farligt köpa Atorlip-20 på nätet bra sida att köpa Lexapro bästa stället att köpa Keftab på eljo Bactroban uttag pris Imitrex dosering sömn köpa Artane online flashback köpa Bupron SR rhodos Nexium dosering rampfeber Aciphex oral lösning dosering köpa Topamax på nätet var kan man köpa äkta Zenegra kan man köpa Suprax i england köpa Erexor i apoteket Artane jelly snabb leverans Hydrochlorothiazide nervositet dos köpa Micronase internet lägsta pris Lisinopril köpa Zithromax lagligt Carafate dos migrän köpa Confido duo att köpa Prilosec i sverige beställa Lukol i sverige bästa stället att köpa Bactrim Sinemet pris på apoteket köpa Lipitor på nätet sverige köpa Motilium på cypern köpa Shallaki var Top Avana nervositet dos Famvir eljo pris bästa sidan att köpa Amantadine Yasmin snabbast leverans dosering Zyloprim k köpa Robaxin original köpa Sominex jelly lagligt beställa Cymbalta vågar man köpa Duetact på nätet köpa Erexor barcelona hur kan man köpa Serevent försäljning av Pamelor funkar generisk Sumycin köpa Nimotop i tallin Seroquel dosering halsfluss köpa NPXL i phuket lägsta pris på Lasix beställa Ranitidine i sverige Alavert lägre pris Azulfidine pris apotek sverige beställa Tulasi olagligt kan man köpa Atarax i thailand köpa Venlor 20mg köpa kvinnlig Zaditor försäljning av Lanoxin köpa kvinnlig Confido Sildalis shampoo köpa var kan man köpa äkta Himcocid hur får man Feldene på recept Risperdal köpa på nätet köpa Omnicef mot postförskott beställa container Toradol Antabuse pris på gatan Colospa shampoo köpa var köper man Rosuvastatin utan recept hur stor dos Benfotiamine ska man ta olagligt att beställa Uroxatral Vermox 100 billig beställa Ranitidine på faktura köpa Voltaren kina Avodart dosering ångest snabb leverans av Abana Tricor för kvinnor pris Zofran hur stor dos köpa Ayurslim utomlands kan man köpa Beconase AQ på ica vart beställa Estrace Floxin pris gatan generisk Doxycycline sverige köpa Zoloft flashback billig Voveran på nätet köpa Hyzaar utomlands kan man beställa Femara Urispas strömställare pris snabb leverans Zyban pris Ranitidine turkiet köpa Bupropion 2013 lägre pris på Remeron är det olagligt att köpa Kamagra på nätet Imitrex dosering migrän köpa Zyrtec på kreta köpa Prinivil i oslo köpa Precose inrikes är det lagligt att köpa Antivert på nätet Ashwagandha pulver köpa köpa Calcium Carbonate på faktura lagligt beställa Propranolol köpa Nizoral lagligt i sverige Lipothin köpa Isoptin pris apoteket säkra sidor att köpa Finax beställa Hyzaar utan recept är det olagligt att köpa Cafergot på nätet köpa Chloromycetin butik Zyban vet dosering köpa Aldactone tjeckien Lamictal dosering lunginflammation var köpa Endep på nätet köpa Compazine i sverige kan man köpa Vermox på nätet Phexin vägguttag pris köpa Trental tjeckien var kan man beställa Aygestin köpa äkta Temovate vad är generisk Precose köpa Uroxatral orifarm Cleocin dosering migrän kan man köpa Terramycin i sverige köpa Kamagra original köpa Glucovance köpenhamn köpa jord Vytorin skaffa recept Bestina Naltrexone online utan recept köp Avodart utan recept köpa Lincocin inom eu beställa Noroxin inrikes köpa Tetracycline i vietnam köpa Clindamycin grekland beställa Protonix till sverige köpa Cleocin online flashback måste man ha recept för att köpa Aleve Cyklokapron eljo pris lägre pris på Viagra köpa billiga Ampicillin apoteket Rizact gel pris Dramamine k dosering beställa Dulcolax beställa Viagra på nätet köpa Alavert mot faktura pris på Danazol i turkiet beställa container Acticin göteborg köpa Cleocin mot faktura Proventil i sverige utan recept lagligt att köpa Toradol Promethazine turkiet pris köpa Bystolic 400 mg flytande Chloromycetin dos beställa Triamterene billigt lägsta pris på Doxycycline Diarex oral jelly billig apotekets pris på Antivert köpa Ditropan i italien behöver man recept för Norvasc köpa Exelon i bulgarien beställa billig Cleocin bästa sidan att köpa Lithium snabb leverans på Kemadrin pris för Benicar flytande Tofranil dosering beställa Levitra jelly köpa Rosuvastatin i bulgarien Sildalis dosering halsfluss kan man beställa Purim Prazosin dos migrän köpa Trandate för män var ska man köpa Claritin Terramycin dosering till hund pris på Gyne-lotrimin i sverige köpa concerta Isoniazid apoteket hjärtat Mentat pris Procardia att köpa lagligt beställa Celexa köpa Anacin i ryssland Zenegra bra pris köpa Atorlip-20 i stockholm bra ställe att köpa Levothroid vågar man köpa Coumadin på nätet var beställa Eulexin köpa Elimite thailand kan man köpa Flagyl ER på apoteket i sverige Minocycline sverige snabb leverans Cozaar på recept var köpa äkta Renagel vart kan man köpa Peni Large Estrace online snabb leverans köpa Cystone lagligt i sverige köpa Indocin online 2013 Doxazosin jelly snabb leverans köpa Erexor i amsterdam Prandin pris apoteket är det olagligt att köpa Accutane Metformin hög dos vill du köpa Tulasi Cardizem vet dosering köpa Digoxin från england köpa Valtrex malmö köpa Flonase var lägre pris på Eurax Lasix pris apotek sverige pris Anafranil turkiet kan man beställa Silagra beställa container Abana göteborg beställa Etodolac lagligt Famvir vilken dos köpa Himcocid flashback 2014 sänkt pris Cozaar Unisom hög dos olagligt att köpa Skelaxin är det lagligt köpa Seroquel på nätet köpa Lioresal stockholm vart ska man köpa Diarex Mircette hur stor dos köpa Cholestoplex mot faktura eljo Singulair bästa pris köpa Casodex orifarm är det olagligt att beställa Allopurinol köpa Zovirax teneriffa beställa container Seroflo Hoodia jelly snabb leverans beställa Imuran till sverige köpa Cialis på kanarieöarna var köpa äkta Dapoxetine Hydrea låg dos köpa billigt Atarax beställa Fluoxetine till sverige köpa Prilosec oral jelly köpa Aleve alanya köp generisk Alli recept för Actoplus beställa Zofran online vart kan man beställa Prednisone var kan man köpa äkta Indocin köpa Topamax i tyskland Inderal nervositet dosering köpa laglig Levitra kan man köpa Vytorin i usa pris på Arava på apoteket pris på Vasodilan sverige hur få recept på Colospa var kan man köpa äkta Shuddha köpa Celebrex Pletal låg dos köpa Zanaflex 10mg hyra container Slim Tea pris beställa blå Cafergot Benzac var köpa Benadryl var köpa hur få recept på Naltrexone köpa Levothroid utan recept lagligt att beställa Zyban köp Diflucan snabb leverans köpa Ventolin i phuket kan man köpa Clonidine utan recept beställa Vermox från sverige vad kan man köpa Clarina köpa Calan orifarm var kan man köpa Innopran duo beställa Levothroid lagligt Torsemide och träning dosering köpa äkta Differin på nätet Abilify kräm pris Haldol receptfritt pris hur får man recept på Tricor köpa Hoodia tyskland köpa Aldactone i london lagligt att köpa Benzac köpa blå Imuran köpa Remeron i tallin köpa Dramamine i amsterdam snabb leverans av Voltaren bra sida att köpa Bactroban Decadron oral jelly billig beställa Keflex olagligt flytande Imitrex dosering kan man köpa Aricept på apoteket utan recept pris på Nasonex i turkiet köpa Desyrel på ica skaffa recept Suprax Cardizem utan recept spanien beställa Entocort inrikes eljo Probalan dimmer pris köpa Coreg tallinn är det lagligt att köpa Lincocin på nätet beställa Adalat på internet beställa Micardis från sverige pris Eldepryl apotek hjärtat Cephalexin köpa köpa Big Appeal på nätet lagligt köpa Avapro i italien köpa Lotensin för tjejer köpa Torsemide online 2012 Zoloft recept Serevent mot nervositet dos snabb leverans av Lotensin Big Appeal strömställare pris eljo Mentat bästa pris köpa Nicotinell från turkiet
Weds
20
Aug
2014
Drop Phone In Toilet

Woman_Screaming_DreamstimeThis was not at the top of my 
To Do List.

But shit happens. Sometimes all too literally. So what's a girl to do?

First, you scream at the toilet. Which, I know you're wondering about but will now have entirely TMI, was not empty.

Then, number two, you should pardon the expression, you dig down deep, not just into the bowl but into your soul.

You always wondered how you would react if something like this happened — the whole grace under pressure thing. Now you know. But perhaps some things, and this surely may be one of them, are better not to know.

Quick! This is no time for philosophizing! Do something! But what???

Wait a moment! Wait a minute! What about. . . rice? Didn't I hear something about using rice?

Yes! Yes! It was on that first episode of Elementary! Sherlock solved a case by figuring out that the bad guy was drying out the phone he had inadvertently put into the washing machine — by sealing it in a big bag of . . . RICE!

But I had no rice. Gave that up in a hopeless attempt to cut back on white carbs. Thought I had some brown rice, but couldn't find it. Was that bad for me too? Quinoa won't work, will it? Noodles? Pasta?

Now I'm panicking . . .

Fortunato! Use what's left of your head. Go on line and ask the musical question:

"What should I do if I drop my phone in the toilet?"

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bathingsuitchoiceA few years ago, I wrote a piece for Woman Around Town about buying a bathing suit, and had so much good feedback from it that I included it in my book, I Can't Believe I'm Not Bitter, available (ahem) on Amazon. I was going to write a new article this year but decided to run the original because a) I am too demoralized from my latest misadventure at Lord & Taylors to write anything,  b) I 've rerun some form of the original every year around this time and tradition is so important when all else has failed, and c)nothing has changed!

BUYING A BATHING SUIT

Somehow I feel that I don't have to say another word. And yet, you know I will.

A few adjectives do come springingly to mind: 
Dreaded, humiliating, humbling (not exactly the same as humiliating), life-negating, tiring, stressful.
(Please feel free to join in!)

And then there are the nouns:
Disaster, failure, disappointment, compromise, defeat.

The sentences might as well be 20 to Life:
I came, I tried, I wept.
I came, I saw myself in the 3-way mirror, I fled.
I came, I saw a lot of suits, none of them fit.

Bathing Suit Designers Are Sadists.

Every year, they decide that a certain style is in, and you're stuck with it whether it fits or not.  
It never fits.

Take the halter top. If you're flat on top, it just lies there, looking useless. If you're large, you hang out. You want to hang out on the beach, not out of your bathing suit.
I hate halters.

For a while, the bottoms were being cut higher and higher, higher and higher. This was supposed to "elongate the leg." What it did was show more cellulite. Now, bottoms are cut a bit lower and some suits even have ruffles on the bottom. Remember the pictures in children's books of elephants in tutus? You will, if you try on one of these.

The people who run the bathing suit departments are also sadists.

There are so many suits, you can't believe that there isn't ONE that will work. There isn't one. Nevertheless, you take 20 or 30 into the dressing room.   
One lives in hope.

And that's where the real heartache begins . . .

Because the people who design dressing rooms are the worst kind of sadists. The lighting makes everything (and I mean everything!) look absolutely hideous.

And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse it does.

If the top fits, the bottom doesn't.
If the cut is good, the color isn't.
If the style is nice, they don't have your size.

One positive note:
After years of two-piece suits that just didn't work, they invented the tankini. I like this, because they're cooler (literally and figuratively) than one-piece suits, and they're much more convenient when going to the loo. Also, when you're lying in the sun in a prone position where things don't hang out so much, you can raise the bottom of the top (is that clear?) and get some sun on your midriff.

Remember, when all else fails: tanned flab looks better than pale flab.

Oh, well. As you know, here at I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M NOT BITTER, we always like to put a positive spin on even the most dire situation.

After much searching, I finally got a cute top from Nautica (tankini, of course, because it's easier to deal with in the loo) from Lord & Taylor that goes with the navy blue bottom from the suit I got from Saks last year. It's not perfect, but it works. But if that doesn't work for you, or if you'd like a spin of your own, try these on for size:

•I never liked the beach anyway. 
•The mountains are so much nicer this time of year.
•No one else is looking that good either.•He loves me for my mind.
•The cover-ups are really cute this year.  

Or my personal favorite:
•After an hour in the sun, I won't give a damn.


TELL US ABOUT YOUR ADVENTURES WITH BATHING SUITS.
IT HELPS TO SHARE.

Note: Previous posts, With A Thong In My Heart, and Bathing Suit Blues, have appeared in summers past.

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100Birthday_Cake

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For those of you who have never attended a 100th birthday party (And who among us has?) here are a few pictures of the one we had for my mother, Josephine, who was born 100 years ago, on May 24, 1914.

 

100Candles-1Mom was overwhelmed at first, but became used to the fuss pretty quickly and got into the swing of things. She stayed up longer than usual before announcing that the party was over, she wanted to go to bed, and we should all go home.

She did. We didn't

After all these years, we still don't always listen to our mother.

100Singing

We had lots of great food by Debbie Soffel Catering, balloons and decorations by Jennifer  & Ron Fortunato, and a wonderful cake I got fromVeneiros in NYC But not enough cannolis. (Remember: Only Allah is perfect.) However! There were over 40 guests, including lots of relatives, and no shots were fired.

I'll bet this only happens every 100 years or so.

HAPPY 100TH BIRTHDAY, MOM!

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When Did Everything Change?

Some say it was the Vietnam War, when we stopped believing a single word our government said,* including "and" and "the." Maybe it was when we started calling love affairs "relationships," thereby sanitizing the romance right out of our sex lives. Or was it the rise of political correctness, when suddenly abolutely anything you said about anyone became incredibly insulting to someone.

Lady_5I agree with all of the above. But I have another explanation:

It was the day we started calling spaghetti "pasta."

Growing up as an Italian-American, the only time I remember hearing the word "pasta" was in conjunction with "fagioli," although we were more inclined to call that bean and macaroni dish "pasta fazool," a Brooklyn-American version of Neapolitan dialect made famous by Dean Martin in the song "That's Amore."

It was love all right. We loved our macaroni, which was different from spaghetti, both of which Pasta_Typescame in many varieties: from angel hair to bucatini,  tubitini to ziti, ravioli to lasagna. In truth, we very fussy about which pasta (although we didn't call it that) went with which sauce, and everyone and his uncle (and, especially, his aunt) had their own, fiercely held opinions about this. But we called them by their names, so that it was linguini with clam sauce, or spaghetti and meatballs.

These days, it's all different. And mostly for the better. You rarely encounter soggy, overcooked lasagna or baked ziti anymore, and you can get all kinds of stuffing for ravioli, not just the classic and one-time ubiquitous cheese. Now spinach is a given. Not to mention mushroom. Or duck. How about lobster! Crab!! Veal and truffle!! Almost anything you can think of. And so far, I haven't met a ravioli I didn't like.

It's just that somehow I feel robbed . . .

The general American public, against which I have nothing, or very little, has co-opted my heritage. They talk about pasta as if they invented it! They no longer marvel at my family's Sunday spaghetti dinners. Although, to be fair, we really don't have those any more except on the rare occasions that my husband, the much put-upon Lou, AKA Luigi, spends a whole day making His Sainted Mother's Sauce, which involves rolling about 60 meatballs (I help) and frying sausage, making braciole (pronounced bra-johl, like the old days), sometimes even adding chicken and pork chops.

After all this, he gets to choose the—all right, I'll say it— pasta, and he usually picks rotini or fusilli, the difference being very subtle. I, on the other hand, lust for plain old medium thick spaghetti. We used Ronzoni in my house because it had an Italian name, and #8 or #9 was the preferred size for meat sauce, although, of course, you had to use capellini for anchovy sauce, which you had to have on Christmas Eve.

We now use imported brands like DeCecco or Barilla, and have serious discussions, coming perilously close to arguments, with friends and family about which is best. I'm not sure, but they're all better than Ronzoni so some of this change, as I've said, is for the better.

And yet.

A small part of me (and many, although not all,  parts of me are small) still feels cheated . . .

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Ain't email grand? 

The words of wisdom that appeared in my inbox today were written by Regina Brett, a columnist for the Cleveland Plain Dealer who's a mere 90 years old. (The italics below are mine.) 
If you're in a hurry, go directly to #10. It sums it all up.

Mae_West 

1. Life isn't fair, but it's good.

Or as that great philosopher Mae West once said, "You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough."

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
But watch out for the dog shit.

3. Life is too short – enjoy it.
Life Is Short is the very apt title of Mickey Rooney's autobiography (may he rest in peace). I'm thinking of writing one myself, and I'll call it, Life Is Short And So Am I.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick.  
Your friends and family will.

Too true. But ya gotta take care of them too.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
Yes! This blogger HATES paying interest to those bloodsuckers. It's like throwing money away. And there are SO many better ways to throw away money.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.
I get the first sentence. I get the second. Just don't see how they go together. Help, anyone?

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
Okay, but be sure to invest in some waterproof mascara first.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
He? Not She? The jury is out on this one.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.chocolate_lover
Now you tell me!

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
Any questions?

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
Past? I don't remember making any mistakes, do you? Of course, I don't remember what I had for breakfast.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
Or anyone else. Although I am still embarassed by the time I broke down in sobs in the dentist chair. Not because of the upcoming root canal, although god knows, that can unnerve a person, but because my dear friend had just died and I hadn't really cried yet.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. And never be envious, the green-eyed monster will really mess you up.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
We've all done it, so don't be too hard on yourself, but yes, if you can't shout it from the rooftops, or at least giggle about it with your best friend, run, don't walk away from this person.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye, but don't worry, God never blinks.
I don't get this one at all. Please explain.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
Ahhhh, yes.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways. 
This includes people.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
No pain, no gain? Unfortunately, this is all too true.

19. It's never too late to be happy. But it's all up to you and no one else.
I do believe that I, and no one else, can make me happy. On the other hand, if George Clooney called . . .

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
Yo, Houston! Failure is not an option

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
I hate it when they go gaga on Antiques Roadshow that something has "never been out of the box." Great, so it's worth more money. And no one has ever enjoyed it! Sheesh. What a world.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
Yup. Make the list, check it twice, then remember that anything that can go wrong almost certainly will . . .

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Bitter Patter

Okay, so I broke up with Walter White 
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Click here for:
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Click here to see a clip about that very subject:

MY 7 MINUTES
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on the TV Show
Good Morning, New York

This is great advice. . .
about advice!

The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never persist in trying to set people right.Henry Ward Beecher

HOWEVER: NEVER SAY NEVER! 
I'm the woman who said she never got a cold.
Guess what? I got one. 
Oh well, it made a good story: 

Wallowing 101

Does anyone else keep getting those emails from people who want to change your life?
Here's the lastest one from "Tara":

Today, this wonderful Secret can bring about happiness in your life, by fulfilling the wish that is closest to your heart, the one which may completely change your destiny.

Tara, a question:
Can you make me twenty again?
Knowing what I know now?
No, didn't think so.
Therefore, take my name off your mailing list.

 Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
― Albert Einstein

Apparently, Mr. E. also got a new coffee maker.

See: "The Coffee Pot From Hell"

 

Have you visited 
WOMAN AROUND TOWN? 
It's an online publication
that features some of my articles.

Here's a link to a book review:

"Antidote For Holiday Stress"

 When you finish reading the latest post,  click on the icon on the right, which will take you 
to Amazon, where you can  get your very own copy of 
I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M NOT BITTER!

 Just as I posted
I WAS THE GIRL PHANTOM
,
I found a website called The Ghost Who Blogs about The Phantom comics:

http://falkonthewildside.blogspot.com

Writing Comics. . .
Was a small but wonderful part of my checkered career, and doing a post about it  brought back a lot of great memories. If you know any other women in NYC who wrote — or are writing — comics, tell me how to get in touch with them. 

 I'm on a watching-old-movies kick these days.
Great way to lose yourself.
If you're lucky, you'll never be found. 

OLD REVIEWS  
TO PERUSE

I'm All Right, Jack:
"Jack" is not just all right, it's totally delightful and fresh as a daisy after all these years (made in 1959), with Sellers, although not technically the lead, giving the brilliant performance that launched him as an international star. He plays an all-too-zealous union leader and father of a blonde bombshell who falls for Stanley, the British Upper Class Twit played, also to perfection, by Ian Carmichael, who you might remember from the Lord Peter Wimsey series. The makeout scenes between the the Twit and the Bombshell are priceless. But what is Stanley doing in this working class atmosphere anyway? Working. And too well at that. Forced by financial circumstances too dreary to discuss, he gets a job in his uncle's factory and messes things up for the other workers by, well, working, and thus making his fellow employees look bad. The film takes a big shot at unions — but also at management: they are manipulating white-collar thieves who'll do anything for a buck. Or a pound. Except for the ones, like Major Hitchcock, played by Terry Thomas, who are just plain lazy and inept. Needless to say, Stanley foils everybody's plans, labor and management alike, to my great joy and delight. Oh, and on top of everything else, Margaret Rutherford plays dotty dowager Aunt Dolly. Delicious!

 The Big Lebowski:
What can you say that hasn't been said before: brilliant, inspired, with some of the most memorable lines ever to come out of a movie, the most quoted being "The Dude abides." Oh yes. For anyone who hasn't yet seen the film, and it's now out in a special Blu-Ray edition if that floats your bowling ball. The Dude in question,  played to perfection by Jeff Bridges, is an out-of-work pothead who is roughed up and has his rug destroyed by some thugs mistaking him for another, bigger, Lebowski. The Dude is really upset about this because, man, "that rug really tied the room together," which The Dude says with all seriousness and not a trace of irony, a great comic touch considering the condition his condition is in.  Oh, and besides "Just Dropped In," all the music is perfect for the film. The plot, according to Wikipedia, which has been known to be wrong, is "loosely based on Raymond chandler's novel, The Big Sleep." Could be. But who cares. It involves a bowling competition, "the occasional acid flashback," a trophy wife, a group of German nihilists, a kidnapping gone awry, a mad millionaire and his lackey, in another great performance by Philip Seymour Hoffman. Actually, they're all great performances. Never a fan of John Goodman before or since, he is brilliant in this film. And so are John Turturro, overacting his little heart out, Steve Buscemi in a nerdy, needy role that makes you marvel at his star turn in Boardwalk Empire, and even the actors in the smaller parts, especially Julianne Moore and Sam Elliott. Elliott plays The Stranger (God? Everyman? The part of us that roots for the bad boy?) who elicits from Bridges the immortal words, "The Dude abides." Which prompts The Stranger to comment to the audience: "Don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I sure hope he makes the finals." We'll never know about the bowling trophy because there's never been a sequel to this 1998 film by the great Coen Brothers, and I hope there never will be. It just abides, as all great films do.

Prince of the City:
Okay, the criticisms of this movie are not totally unfounded: it's too long, and Treat Williams may have overacted a bit, although I found him so deliciously charming I couldn't care less, and there's one part concerning the Jerry Orbach character I just didn't understand. But get over it, The New Yorker, this is one powerful movie. And yes, Dog Day Afternoon it isn't, but what it? The DVD has a great special feature with Williams (I so want to call him Treat) and Sidney (what the hell: I once made a meatloaf sandwich for the man) that explains a lot about filmmaking in general and this movie in particular. Also, Sidney's views on good and evil, and how things are not so black and white as you think. I loved it.

Bad Day At Black Rock:
Recommended on TCM by Robert Osbourne as a film he originally had no interest in seeing, then loved it, and by Alex Baldwin, who pointed out the great actors in the cast, including Lee Marvin, Ernest Brognine and Dean Jagger. Well, after all that, I had to like it, right?  I did. A lot. It was a Good Day On My Couch.
Behind the Scenes Stuff: Spencer Tracey was off drinking and wouldn't commit to the film until the producers (who wanted him desperately) told him that they had Alan Ladd, at which point Tracey grabbed it.  He was perfect for the part, wearing a dark suit and tie the entire time in a western setting,  pulling it off perfectly. Other than that "fashion statement," the film makes a strong case against racism: the hatred of the Japanese during WW2. See it.

Song of The Thin Man:
I usually like these frothy, silly, suave, utter unrealistic films from the 30s and 40s, with William Powell and Myrna Loy as the couple we'd all like to be — if only we had the looks, brains, money, a huge capacity for drinking and a dog like Asta. But this one was a stinker, rather than a stinger, or maybe a sinker, because  it turned out to be the last, not to mention the least, in the series. Watch any of the others four sequels, but not this one: Even the pooch jumped the shark.

The Children's Hour:
It had its moments, and just looking at Audrey Hepburn makes life worth living, but mostly I kept thinking that the play, by Lillian Hellman, was so much better. It's about two young women runing a school for girls, who are accused by a hateful little brat of being (GASP!) lesbians. And although the closest we get in this 1961 production to using that actual term is the word "unnatural," it's enough to ruin their lives.  A young Shirley McClaine is worth seeing in this, and James Garner, and Audrey Hepburn is, well, Audrey Hepburn. The rumor of the love that dare not speak its name is totally untrue — or is it? And I'll say no more, because you should see the movie for yourself, imperfect as it may be, as is Life Itself.

Because when I am not blogging, I sometimes cook,
and because woman does not live
by martinis alone,
I like this blog:

grapesandgreens.blogspot.com

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