Fri 24 Apr 2009 |
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| Hi, Sara: As Reservations Clerk in Chief (How did I get this friggin' job?),
"One ringy dingy"
How early do you want to make it? Five? Six? I checked with Scarlatto, which is in the theatre district (where you’ll be) and which also happens to be where I left my hat the last time I was there (It's a cute hat!) and the food is good, so. . . Give me a time and I'll make the reservation. Love, Pat So how did I get this friggin' job? Why am I always writing e-mails like the one above? Why am I constantly looking up restaurants in Zagat, and plays in Time Out New York (before I cancelled my subscription because they started getting so weird)? What ever happened to spontaneity? I guess that my question really is . . . Why me? My life as a reservations clerk/social director began when I stopped working full time (and before I started writing this blog), and I supposedly had time for all that nonsense. Then too, I often took on the job because my husband is challenged about making plans (he’s a man), and someone had to do it . . . Before I had all this alleged time, other people sometimes did take care of making the arrangements. I was always grateful for this — and as we know, gratitude is the noblest emotion, on those rare occasions when we can actually summon it up. It’s wonderful to make no decisions, to just be told when and where to show up. Especially if it turns out well. Honestly, even if it doesn’t. But before I started doing this myself every time, all the time, I had no idea. "Let's Do Lunch!" Take a recent venture in simply getting together with a few friends for a dinner at a hot restaurant. Quick! Which word in the previous sentence doesn’t belong. Right, it’s “simply.” As you probably have noticed, very few things in life are actually simple, and getting a reservation at ’Cesca is definitely not one of them. The latest trend in happening restaurants: they don't tell you that they are "fully committed" like they used to (so last year). What they do is offer you a choice of two times on whatever date you want: either 5PM or 10 PM. Wonderful. I love eating at teatime. And it’s so chic to dine at 10 — in Barcelona. I'm afraid that you have to Know Someone to get in at any civilized hour, let alone 8 on a Saturday night. (In your dreams.) Well, lucky for me (my name isn’t Fortunato for nothing), I do have one connection: my brother in the film business. I don’t like to ask Ron for many of these favors, but I really wanted to get into ’Cesca, in my lifetime, and he said he’d try. So I gave him the date (which had taken three e-mails between the female half of the other couple and me to establish), but then I got a frantic message from her saying that the original date wasn’t good after all. Suppressing the urge to say forget it, let's do lunch —at another restaurant, in another time zone —I rushed to call Ron, who luckily hadn’t gotten through to the guy at the restaurant because he doesn’t get in until 4 (Phew! it was 3:20). I decided to call the restaurant myself for the new date (which was three weeks away), and got the same 5/10 routine. And so Ron will make the call after all. Stay tuned. I once read a book about wealthy women in the 50’s who spent most of their time shopping for — and then an almost equal amount of time returning — clothes, cosmetics and stuff for the house. Come to think of it, they must have also done a lot of making and breaking of reservations, but when I read the book I didn’t notice that because I had another career then, and it wasn't Chief Reservations Clerk. "On your knees, citizens of Broadway. A superwoman walks among you... " Then there's Broadway. Where there's a broken heart for every light, or every overpriced ticket, or something. One of those hearts is mine, and I'm not even an actress. Just one little example: I went through a lot of trouble to get tickets for Wonderful Town a while back, but it turned out to be the one night in recorded history when Donna Murphy wasn’t performing. (I am not always lucky.) We saw it anyway, but I wanted to see this superwoman person that Ben Brantley had raved about in the Times. God knows, I am not one. So I asked a friend to include me when he got tickets. l gave him some dates, and he got tickets, so far so good, but it turned out to be on a Thursday when had I opera tickets. Whoops. So I exchanged the opera tickets for another night, and saw the show with Donna Murphy. She was sensational, I must admit, and the chemistry between her and her sister Eileen was go good that I left the theatre wishing that I too had a sister. Sigh. Maybe if I did, she could make reservations and get tickets for shows. Once in a while. Anyway, then I realized that the new opera tickets were for the very night that Kevin Kline was scheduled to appear at the National Arts Club in Talking About Shakespeare. You don’t understand: I am a member of the club, and this is the kind of event that makes a person feel really good about having paid her dues. Besides, I saw Kevin Kline in Henry IV, and I really like that man. But if I wanted to change the changed opera seats (I don’t even know if they’ll do that), I would have had to go back to Lincoln Center and attempt to pick another night that wouldn't conflict with something else. Or, we could just miss the event at the National Arts. I didn’t know what to do. On the one hand, a Kline is a terrible thing to waste. On the other hand, I quit. Take this job and . . . Oh, you know. I think by now it’s clear that I am monumentally unsuited for this kind of work. If I were my boss, I’d fire me. In a New York minute, if I could reserve one. I am terrible with details, and this is all about the details. If I have to do this much longer, I will be fully committed. All this doing and undoing makes me think of an exhibit I saw years ago at the beginning of the women’s movement. It showed a woman sitting at a vanity table endlessly putting on —and then taking off— her makeup. The woman next to me started to cry. Oh, the humanity! All that time used up in repetitious actions that leave you in the same place you started out in. Although I do love the socializing, it gives me absolutely no sense of accomplishment to make the arrangements for dinner and/or a show. It's just something I have to do. And yet, doing it well really is a big accomplishment. How I miss the office manager at my company who was actually good at this sort of thing. It’s almost enough to make me go out and get a real job. You picked up on the "almost," right? In the meantime, I have no sister, no office manager, or anyone else to foist my responsibilities on, and I don’t want to miss fun restaurants and good shows. It's even harder lately because I'm trying to be thriftier, which means doing things like finding good prix fixe dinners and getting half-price tickets. So fun! Anyone for pizza and something on the nature channel. Travel arrangements? Let’s not even go there. Literally. Usually, I wait until a restaurant is a little less hot, but I had the feeling that a girl could get really hungry waiting for ’Cesca to totally cool down. We eventually did get a reservation, which I made myself because the brother connection had moved on to another watering hole, but the table sucked. And yet, I soldier on. Another dinner, another show. Hey, maybe Kevin Kline wants to join me at the Club for lunch sometime. He could tell explain Henry IV to me and review what he said the night that I blew him off for Donna Murphy. Maybe he knows the owner of 'Cesca. That would solve everything. Meanwhile, does anyone out there want my job? It pays nothing (literally), but the fringe benefits are terrific. If making reservations is tough, how about . . . BUYING A BATHING SUIT! Oh nooooo. Watch for: WITH A THONG IN MY HEART Coming Saturday At A Blog Near You! |
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Comments
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Bitter Patter
NO LAUGHING MATTER:
Did Demi Moore overdose
on laughing gas??
That's what's being reported
to those of us at:
A DEVOUT COWARD
GOES TO THE DENTIST
Have you seen The Artist? Seeing it mentioned at
The Golden Globes reminded me that that not ALL movies are
Incredibly Loud!
Do NOT Google Santorum.
I warned you . . .
I did it!
I actually got that
LITTLE BLACK DRESS!
How hard was it?
Click on the link above.
I also got my iPhone.
It's great.
Thank you Steve Jobs
Wherever you are.
Just as I posted I WAS THE GIRL PHANTOM, I found a website called The Ghost Who Blogs about The Phantom comics:
http://falkonthewildside.blogspot.com
Writing Comics. . .
Was a small but wonderful part of my checkered career, and doing a post about it brought back a lot of great memories. If you know any other women in NYC who wrote — or are writing — comics, tell me how to get in touch with them.
I'm on a watching-old-movies kick these days.
Great way to lose yourself.
If you're lucky, you'll never be found.
REVIEWS TO PERUSE
I'm All Right, Jack:
"Jack" is not just all right, it's totally delightful and fresh as a daisy after all these years (made in 1959), with Sellers, although not technically the lead, giving the brilliant performance that launched him as an international star. He plays an all-too-zealous union leader and father of a blonde bombshell who falls for Stanley, the British Upper Class Twit played, also to perfection, by Ian Carmichael, who you might remember from the Lord Peter Wimsey series. The makeout scenes between the the Twit and the Bombshell are priceless. But what is Stanley doing in this working class atmosphere anyway? Working. And too well at that. Forced by financial circumstances too dreary to discuss, he gets a job in his uncle's factory and messes things up for the other workers by, well, working, and thus making his fellow employees look bad. The film takes a big shot at unions — but also at management: they are manipulating white-collar thieves who'll do anything for a buck. Or a pound. Except for the ones, like Major Hitchcock, played by Terry Thomas, who are just plain lazy and inept. Needless to say, Stanley foils everybody's plans, labor and management alike, to my great joy and delight. Oh, and on top of everything else, Margaret Rutherford plays dotty dowager Aunt Dolly. Delicious!
The Big Lebowski:
What can you say that hasn't been said before: brilliant, inspired, with some of the most memorable lines ever to come out of a movie, the most quoted being "The Dude abides." Oh yes. For anyone who hasn't yet seen the film, and it's now out in a special Blu-Ray edition if that floats your bowling ball. The Dude in question, played to perfection by Jeff Bridges, is an out-of-work pothead who is roughed up and has his rug destroyed by some thugs mistaking him for another, bigger, Lebowski. The Dude is really upset about this because, man, "that rug really tied the room together," which The Dude says with all seriousness and not a trace of irony, a great comic touch considering the condition his condition is in. Oh, and besides "Just Dropped In," all the music is perfect for the film. The plot, according to Wikipedia, which has been known to be wrong, is "loosely based on Raymond chandler's novel, The Big Sleep." Could be. But who cares. It involves a bowling competition, "the occasional acid flashback," a trophy wife, a group of German nihilists, a kidnapping gone awry, a mad millionaire and his lackey, in another great performance by Philip Seymour Hoffman. Actually, they're all great performances. Never a fan of John Goodman before or since, he is brilliant in this film. And so are John Turturro, overacting his little heart out, Steve Buscemi in a nerdy, needy role that makes you marvel at his star turn in Boardwalk Empire, and even the actors in the smaller parts, especially Julianne Moore and Sam Elliott. Elliott plays The Stranger (God? Everyman? The part of us that roots for the bad boy?) who elicits from Bridges the immortal words, "The Dude abides." Which prompts The Stranger to comment to the audience: "Don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I sure hope he makes the finals." We'll never know about the bowling trophy because there's never been a sequel to this 1998 film by the great Coen Brothers, and I hope there never will be. It just abides, as all great films do.
Prince of the City:
Okay, the criticisms of this movie are not totally unfounded: it's too long, and Treat Williams may have overacted a bit, although I found him so deliciously charming I couldn't care less, and there's one part concerning the Jerry Orbach character I just didn't understand. But get over it, The New Yorker, this is one powerful movie. And yes, Dog Day Afternoon it isn't, but what it? The DVD has a great special feature with Williams (I so want to call him Treat) and Sidney (what the hell: I once made a meatloaf sandwich for the man) that explains a lot about filmmaking in general and this movie in particular. Also, Sidney's views on good and evil, and how things are not so black and white as you think. I loved it.
Bad Day At Black Rock:
Recommended on TCM by Robert Osbourne as a film he originally had no interest in seeing, then loved it, and by Alex Baldwin, who pointed out the great actors in the cast, including Lee Marvin, Ernest Brognine and Dean Jagger. Well, after all that, I had to like it, right? I did. A lot. It was a Good Day On My Couch.
Behind the Scenes Stuff: Spencer Tracey was off drinking and wouldn't commit to the film until the producers (who wanted him desperately) told him that they had Alan Ladd, at which point Tracey grabbed it. He was perfect for the part, wearing a dark suit and tie the entire time in a western setting, pulling it off perfectly. Other than that "fashion statement," the film makes a strong case against racism: the hatred of the Japanese during WW2. See it.
Song of The Thin Man:
I usually like these frothy, silly, suave, utter unrealistic films from the 30s and 40s, with William Powell and Myrna Loy as the couple we'd all like to be — if only we had the looks, brains, money, a huge capacity for drinking and a dog like Asta. But this one was a stinker, rather than a stinger, or maybe a sinker, because it turned out to be the last, not to mention the least, in the series. Watch any of the others four sequels, but not this one: Even the pooch jumped the shark.
The Children's Hour:
It had its moments, and just looking at Audrey Hepburn makes life worth living, but mostly I kept thinking that the play, by Lillian Hellman, was so much better. It's about two young women runing a school for girls, who are accused by a hateful little brat of being (GASP!) lesbians. And although the closest we get in this 1961 production to using that actual term is the word "unnatural," it's enough to ruin their lives. A young Shirley McClaine is worth seeing in this, and James Garner, and Audrey Hepburn is, well, Audrey Hepburn. The rumor of the love that dare not speak its name is totally untrue — or is it? And I'll say no more, because you should see the movie for yourself, imperfect as it may be, as is Life Itself.
by martinis alone,
I like this blog:
grapesandgreens.blogspot.com
BITTER PATTER
Click on:
Welcome To My Blog
Scroll down to
PAT'S FAVORITES
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from the past.





Comments
Just wanted you to know that I'm experiencing mucho gratitude, that most noble of feelings, for your efforts on our behalf- we went to Scarlatto, and saw Kevin Klein with you and you handled the arrangements! But don't think I get off easy either-seems my major role in life past retirement is also being a social director. But it's always nice to have a little break from this, hence the gratitude. Sara
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