Fri 17 Apr 2009 |
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| I want a wedding. Not one of my own, silly. Been there (Finally!). Done that (Amen). What I want is to be invited to a gay wedding. Soon. Adam and Steve: Are you listening? I’m not kidding about this. ![]() I have fantasies about gay weddings, especially between two guys. I’m thinking really tasteful with all the perfect touches, like Charlotte’s in Sex and the City— but with more flair. Isn't it ironic (not to mention romantic): gays out-traditionaling the traditionalists. I saw a photo of two grooms wearing white tuxes with pink shirts and ties. I may have the Wedding Bell Blues, but they were pink and white — and looked fabulous! I can only imagine the flowers and the table arrangements. On the other hand . . . I hope that some of these weddings will be out-and-out outrageous—like the gay prom in Sex and the City. I want to get a taffeta dress from the thrift shop, with tulle maybe, get big hair, and wear too much makeup. Ah, but perhaps I’m being too optimistic. Maybe gay weddings will turn out to be just like most heterosexual weddings: big, obscenely expensive, with music so loud you have to read lips to get through dinner. Oh, I hope not. But come on, let’s roll the dice on this one, folks. Make it legal! Let them eat wedding cake! If they have the bread, it could be a really great cake, with two grooms on the top and everything. Of course, I may have to move to Iowa . . . True, as we speak, Governor Patterson is trying to get a bill passed to legalize gay marriages in New York. But there's those pesky Republicans and Others who are dead set against it. Can you believe that Iowa is in the vanguard on this? I should have known. When I went to Iowa City the first time, for a Nancy Drew convention of all things, being all jaded New Yorker, my first impression was, there’s no "there" there. Then I was introduced to the writers' workshop at University of Iowa and saw that the "there" there was very interesting indeed. I'm reading a terrific book, Home, by Pulitzer Prize winner Marilynne Robinson who teaches at the workshop. And now it seems as if the whole state has it straight, so to speak. And we thought that a big night In Iowa consisted of listening to the corn grow. Apparently, not true. By the way, did you know that you actually can listen to the corn grow? It has periods when it grows really, really fast, usually at night, I think, in mating season or something, and the leaves or husks, or whatever they're called (Hey! I’m a city girl) make rustling noises as they shoot up. Cool, huh. Meanwhile, back in the Big Apple, I can’t imagine why anyone is opposed to same sex marriages. People used to go around saying that all homosexuals were promiscuous. Some (who shall remain nameless) even believed that AIDS was retribution from God for all this carrying on. Now these very same people are morally offended about same-sex marriages. Hello? Marriage implies (although it does not always deliver on) commitment and fidelity. What DO these people want? It’s not like you’re going to change the facts: there have always been homosexuals who walk among us, maybe even before we were actually able to wallk (Upright Man, also known as homo erectus.) I'ts probably around 10 per cent of the population, although I hear higher estimates, mostly from my gay friends. But say it's 10 per cent: that means that one out of ten people you know are gay, unless you live in San Francisco, where all bets are off, or in one of the places that have less than 10 per cent because most of the gay population has fled to San Francisco. Whatever. The point is that everyone has gays in their lives, And some of these people want to get married, for Pete’s —I dare not say heaven’s—sake. What is the big deal? They’re already living together and perhaps even adopting children. So why the fuss about that “little piece of paper” our boyfriends used to tell us was so unimportant. But of course, it is a big deal. I personally was made to feel the least little bit guilty about living with someone (no one actually says “in sin” anymore, do they?) rather than getting that “little piece of paper.” So I was being subtly pressured into getting married, but gays are being discouraged, to put it mildly. Why exactly? Because it will destroy the sanctity of marriage? Pul-leeze. New flash: there’s a fifty percent divorce rate and a lot of adultery going on. Could gays do any worse? If it makes you feel any better, I finally did get married. Again. (That’s another story, which you could check out in Confessions of An Encore Bride if you're so inclined.) We didn’t do it sooner for a complicated set of reasons, mostly that we were superstitious and were afraid it would Change Things. (It did: it got nicer.) After 19 years, we were fully committed, rather like the reservations clerk at a crowded restaurant or the inmates of a mental institution, but not married. Just shacking up, which no one says anymore either. But when we were good and ready, we did it. And why shouldn’t gays? I’ll bet they could screw it up as badly as heteros have. Besides the superstition thing, another reason my mate and I did not get officially hitched sooner is the number (a staggering 6!) of previous marriages we had between the two of us before we finally found each other. Could gays do any worse? So You Go, Guys! And girls, too, of course. Which is implied in the generic “guys.” Got it? Please don’t nail me for being politically incorrect. Remember, “girls” is iffy, too. And You Go, Women! just doesn’t cut it as a slogan. You Go, Ladies? I think not. The reason I haven’t talked about weddings between two women is that I think they won’t be so extreme. The civil union ceremonies I’ve heard about sounded very nice, but sedate. I could be wrong, but I think that even Rosie O’Donnell had a less-than-outrageous traditional wedding. But what about someone like Cynthia Nixon? Her wedding on Sex and the City was simple and lovely. But that was with Steve. Now she’s got Christina. And while Christina seems like a sweet, steady-as-she-goes kind of gal, who knows what nuptials might bring out in these two? Think about it: Gay weddings could make marriage seem like such a cool thing to do that even I might line up to catch the bouquet. So what if I’m already married? We're breaking tradition here, remember. Maybe catching the bouquet would mean that I'll get better at floral arrangemens, not one of my strong suits. Or maybe catching the bouguet would not grant me a groom, which I already had (and is he happy about that), but would instead grant my wish that gay marriages would become legal in New York State. Then maybe I'd get invited to lots of them. Wearing my taffeta dress and big hair. Stranger things have happened. ANY THOUGHTS ON GAY MARRIAGE? MARRIAGE IN GENERAL? LEAVE A COMMENT. |
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Bitter Patter
NO LAUGHING MATTER:
Did Demi Moore overdose
on laughing gas??
That's what's being reported
to those of us at:
A DEVOUT COWARD
GOES TO THE DENTIST
Have you seen The Artist? Seeing it mentioned at
The Golden Globes reminded me that that not ALL movies are
Incredibly Loud!
Do NOT Google Santorum.
I warned you . . .
I did it!
I actually got that
LITTLE BLACK DRESS!
How hard was it?
Click on the link above.
I also got my iPhone.
It's great.
Thank you Steve Jobs
Wherever you are.
Just as I posted I WAS THE GIRL PHANTOM, I found a website called The Ghost Who Blogs about The Phantom comics:
http://falkonthewildside.blogspot.com
Writing Comics. . .
Was a small but wonderful part of my checkered career, and doing a post about it brought back a lot of great memories. If you know any other women in NYC who wrote — or are writing — comics, tell me how to get in touch with them.
I'm on a watching-old-movies kick these days.
Great way to lose yourself.
If you're lucky, you'll never be found.
REVIEWS TO PERUSE
I'm All Right, Jack:
"Jack" is not just all right, it's totally delightful and fresh as a daisy after all these years (made in 1959), with Sellers, although not technically the lead, giving the brilliant performance that launched him as an international star. He plays an all-too-zealous union leader and father of a blonde bombshell who falls for Stanley, the British Upper Class Twit played, also to perfection, by Ian Carmichael, who you might remember from the Lord Peter Wimsey series. The makeout scenes between the the Twit and the Bombshell are priceless. But what is Stanley doing in this working class atmosphere anyway? Working. And too well at that. Forced by financial circumstances too dreary to discuss, he gets a job in his uncle's factory and messes things up for the other workers by, well, working, and thus making his fellow employees look bad. The film takes a big shot at unions — but also at management: they are manipulating white-collar thieves who'll do anything for a buck. Or a pound. Except for the ones, like Major Hitchcock, played by Terry Thomas, who are just plain lazy and inept. Needless to say, Stanley foils everybody's plans, labor and management alike, to my great joy and delight. Oh, and on top of everything else, Margaret Rutherford plays dotty dowager Aunt Dolly. Delicious!
The Big Lebowski:
What can you say that hasn't been said before: brilliant, inspired, with some of the most memorable lines ever to come out of a movie, the most quoted being "The Dude abides." Oh yes. For anyone who hasn't yet seen the film, and it's now out in a special Blu-Ray edition if that floats your bowling ball. The Dude in question, played to perfection by Jeff Bridges, is an out-of-work pothead who is roughed up and has his rug destroyed by some thugs mistaking him for another, bigger, Lebowski. The Dude is really upset about this because, man, "that rug really tied the room together," which The Dude says with all seriousness and not a trace of irony, a great comic touch considering the condition his condition is in. Oh, and besides "Just Dropped In," all the music is perfect for the film. The plot, according to Wikipedia, which has been known to be wrong, is "loosely based on Raymond chandler's novel, The Big Sleep." Could be. But who cares. It involves a bowling competition, "the occasional acid flashback," a trophy wife, a group of German nihilists, a kidnapping gone awry, a mad millionaire and his lackey, in another great performance by Philip Seymour Hoffman. Actually, they're all great performances. Never a fan of John Goodman before or since, he is brilliant in this film. And so are John Turturro, overacting his little heart out, Steve Buscemi in a nerdy, needy role that makes you marvel at his star turn in Boardwalk Empire, and even the actors in the smaller parts, especially Julianne Moore and Sam Elliott. Elliott plays The Stranger (God? Everyman? The part of us that roots for the bad boy?) who elicits from Bridges the immortal words, "The Dude abides." Which prompts The Stranger to comment to the audience: "Don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I sure hope he makes the finals." We'll never know about the bowling trophy because there's never been a sequel to this 1998 film by the great Coen Brothers, and I hope there never will be. It just abides, as all great films do.
Prince of the City:
Okay, the criticisms of this movie are not totally unfounded: it's too long, and Treat Williams may have overacted a bit, although I found him so deliciously charming I couldn't care less, and there's one part concerning the Jerry Orbach character I just didn't understand. But get over it, The New Yorker, this is one powerful movie. And yes, Dog Day Afternoon it isn't, but what it? The DVD has a great special feature with Williams (I so want to call him Treat) and Sidney (what the hell: I once made a meatloaf sandwich for the man) that explains a lot about filmmaking in general and this movie in particular. Also, Sidney's views on good and evil, and how things are not so black and white as you think. I loved it.
Bad Day At Black Rock:
Recommended on TCM by Robert Osbourne as a film he originally had no interest in seeing, then loved it, and by Alex Baldwin, who pointed out the great actors in the cast, including Lee Marvin, Ernest Brognine and Dean Jagger. Well, after all that, I had to like it, right? I did. A lot. It was a Good Day On My Couch.
Behind the Scenes Stuff: Spencer Tracey was off drinking and wouldn't commit to the film until the producers (who wanted him desperately) told him that they had Alan Ladd, at which point Tracey grabbed it. He was perfect for the part, wearing a dark suit and tie the entire time in a western setting, pulling it off perfectly. Other than that "fashion statement," the film makes a strong case against racism: the hatred of the Japanese during WW2. See it.
Song of The Thin Man:
I usually like these frothy, silly, suave, utter unrealistic films from the 30s and 40s, with William Powell and Myrna Loy as the couple we'd all like to be — if only we had the looks, brains, money, a huge capacity for drinking and a dog like Asta. But this one was a stinker, rather than a stinger, or maybe a sinker, because it turned out to be the last, not to mention the least, in the series. Watch any of the others four sequels, but not this one: Even the pooch jumped the shark.
The Children's Hour:
It had its moments, and just looking at Audrey Hepburn makes life worth living, but mostly I kept thinking that the play, by Lillian Hellman, was so much better. It's about two young women runing a school for girls, who are accused by a hateful little brat of being (GASP!) lesbians. And although the closest we get in this 1961 production to using that actual term is the word "unnatural," it's enough to ruin their lives. A young Shirley McClaine is worth seeing in this, and James Garner, and Audrey Hepburn is, well, Audrey Hepburn. The rumor of the love that dare not speak its name is totally untrue — or is it? And I'll say no more, because you should see the movie for yourself, imperfect as it may be, as is Life Itself.
by martinis alone,
I like this blog:
grapesandgreens.blogspot.com
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