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2009

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Written by Pat Fortunato   

They walk among us. Or to be more exact, we walk among us.

We are the women of a certain age whose life experiences could, under normal circumstances, make us bitter. But what is normal these days, anyway? And why be bitter? There are other options . . .

Hey, I could be bitter and then some. Failed relationships (and I'm not even counting the marriages), aging parents who aren't getting any younger, and neither am I (I still have an hourglass figure, but the sand has definitely shifted), jobs that didn't exactly work out, dental bills. I could go on.

So why am I not bitter? Beats me. It's not drugs: gave that up a long time ago. Don't have the perfect life even now. It's pretty good, but it's not all Hallmark Moments either. Lost money just like everyone else in the market, and my 401K is, yes, more like a 101K these days.

And yet. Things are actually quite funny when you look at them in a certain way.

If it will make you feel better, tell me what's making you bitter, and I'll write about that, or you can comment on the posts. Just say what's on your mind. You don't have to be funny (unless you want to be) because that's my job.

Send anything you like from this blog to another Woman Who Walks Among Us. She could use a laugh, too. And if you need an additional dose of silliness yourself, you can visit me at www.womanaroundtown.com, where I write the Laugh Lines column.

            These women are not bitter — chilly, maybe, but not bitter!happywomen_4.jpg

 


 

 
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+1 # MR GAR 2009-02-16 03:41
This country IS going to hell in a handbasket!!! the government IS ruining this country!!! These medical bills ARE outrageous!!! WHY aren't people happy with what they have???? In OUR day...etc. etc. ad nauseum...
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0 # Pat Fortunato 2009-02-16 12:19
Ho boy, Mr Gar, you sound really bitter! Unfortunately, it's hard for me to write about the government in a humorous way, since it's already a SitCom as it is (I mean, how can you parody a parody?), but maybe I'll try. Meanwhile, to address your other concerns . . .I'm thinking about posting something about the Wonderful World of Modern Medicine, and yes, something about why people aren't happy with what they have. Look for The Genie Is Out of the Orifice and Life By Lottery â??Coming soon to a blog near you! This one, in fact.
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0 # Rosemarie S. 2009-03-05 12:02
Pat

It's simple!

The reason you're not bitter is because you're Italian!!!!

Rosemarie S.
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0 # Jackie 2009-07-24 13:53
Hi, Pat. I wrote humor columns for a lot of years; for a local newsletter here in NY and one in NJ, two different types of national magazines (The Armchair Detective -- mystery mag, of course) and The Clergy Journal (for the clergy!). So I know how challenging and how much fun it is. Thanks for sharing yours.
Jackie
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My site was nominated for Best Humor Blog!

Bitter Patter

NO LAUGHING MATTER:

Did Demi Moore overdose
on laughing gas?? 
That's what's being reported
to those of us at:

A DEVOUT COWARD 
GOES TO THE DENTIST

Have you seen The Artist? Seeing it mentioned at
The Golden Globes reminded me that that not ALL movies are 
Incredibly Loud! 

Do NOT Google Santorum.
I warned you . . .

 I did it!
I actually got that 

LITTLE BLACK DRESS!

How hard was it?
Click on the link above
.

I also got my iPhone.
It's great.
Thank you Steve Jobs
Wherever you are.

  Just as I posted I WAS THE GIRL PHANTOM, I found a website called The Ghost Who Blogs about The Phantom comics:

http://falkonthewildside.blogspot.com

Writing Comics. . .
Was a small but wonderful part of my checkered career, and doing a post about it  brought back a lot of great memories. If you know any other women in NYC who wrote — or are writing — comics, tell me how to get in touch with them. 

I'm on a watching-old-movies kick these days.
Great way to lose yourself.
If you're lucky, you'll never be found. 

REVIEWS TO PERUSE

I'm All Right, Jack:
"Jack" is not just all right, it's totally delightful and fresh as a daisy after all these years (made in 1959), with Sellers, although not technically the lead, giving the brilliant performance that launched him as an international star. He plays an all-too-zealous union leader and father of a blonde bombshell who falls for Stanley, the British Upper Class Twit played, also to perfection, by Ian Carmichael, who you might remember from the Lord Peter Wimsey series. The makeout scenes between the the Twit and the Bombshell are priceless. But what is Stanley doing in this working class atmosphere anyway? Working. And too well at that. Forced by financial circumstances too dreary to discuss, he gets a job in his uncle's factory and messes things up for the other workers by, well, working, and thus making his fellow employees look bad. The film takes a big shot at unions — but also at management: they are manipulating white-collar thieves who'll do anything for a buck. Or a pound. Except for the ones, like Major Hitchcock, played by Terry Thomas, who are just plain lazy and inept. Needless to say, Stanley foils everybody's plans, labor and management alike, to my great joy and delight. Oh, and on top of everything else, Margaret Rutherford plays dotty dowager Aunt Dolly. Delicious!

 The Big Lebowski:
What can you say that hasn't been said before: brilliant, inspired, with some of the most memorable lines ever to come out of a movie, the most quoted being "The Dude abides." Oh yes. For anyone who hasn't yet seen the film, and it's now out in a special Blu-Ray edition if that floats your bowling ball. The Dude in question,  played to perfection by Jeff Bridges, is an out-of-work pothead who is roughed up and has his rug destroyed by some thugs mistaking him for another, bigger, Lebowski. The Dude is really upset about this because, man, "that rug really tied the room together," which The Dude says with all seriousness and not a trace of irony, a great comic touch considering the condition his condition is in.  Oh, and besides "Just Dropped In," all the music is perfect for the film. The plot, according to Wikipedia, which has been known to be wrong, is "loosely based on Raymond chandler's novel, The Big Sleep." Could be. But who cares. It involves a bowling competition, "the occasional acid flashback," a trophy wife, a group of German nihilists, a kidnapping gone awry, a mad millionaire and his lackey, in another great performance by Philip Seymour Hoffman. Actually, they're all great performances. Never a fan of John Goodman before or since, he is brilliant in this film. And so are John Turturro, overacting his little heart out, Steve Buscemi in a nerdy, needy role that makes you marvel at his star turn in Boardwalk Empire, and even the actors in the smaller parts, especially Julianne Moore and Sam Elliott. Elliott plays The Stranger (God? Everyman? The part of us that roots for the bad boy?) who elicits from Bridges the immortal words, "The Dude abides." Which prompts The Stranger to comment to the audience: "Don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I sure hope he makes the finals." We'll never know about the bowling trophy because there's never been a sequel to this 1998 film by the great Coen Brothers, and I hope there never will be. It just abides, as all great films do.

Prince of the City:
Okay, the criticisms of this movie are not totally unfounded: it's too long, and Treat Williams may have overacted a bit, although I found him so deliciously charming I couldn't care less, and there's one part concerning the Jerry Orbach character I just didn't understand. But get over it, The New Yorker, this is one powerful movie. And yes, Dog Day Afternoon it isn't, but what it? The DVD has a great special feature with Williams (I so want to call him Treat) and Sidney (what the hell: I once made a meatloaf sandwich for the man) that explains a lot about filmmaking in general and this movie in particular. Also, Sidney's views on good and evil, and how things are not so black and white as you think. I loved it.

Bad Day At Black Rock:
Recommended on TCM by Robert Osbourne as a film he originally had no interest in seeing, then loved it, and by Alex Baldwin, who pointed out the great actors in the cast, including Lee Marvin, Ernest Brognine and Dean Jagger. Well, after all that, I had to like it, right?  I did. A lot. It was a Good Day On My Couch.
Behind the Scenes Stuff: Spencer Tracey was off drinking and wouldn't commit to the film until the producers (who wanted him desperately) told him that they had Alan Ladd, at which point Tracey grabbed it.  He was perfect for the part, wearing a dark suit and tie the entire time in a western setting,  pulling it off perfectly. Other than that "fashion statement," the film makes a strong case against racism: the hatred of the Japanese during WW2. See it.

Song of The Thin Man:
I usually like these frothy, silly, suave, utter unrealistic films from the 30s and 40s, with William Powell and Myrna Loy as the couple we'd all like to be — if only we had the looks, brains, money, a huge capacity for drinking and a dog like Asta. But this one was a stinker, rather than a stinger, or maybe a sinker, because  it turned out to be the last, not to mention the least, in the series. Watch any of the others four sequels, but not this one: Even the pooch jumped the shark.

The Children's Hour:
It had its moments, and just looking at Audrey Hepburn makes life worth living, but mostly I kept thinking that the play, by Lillian Hellman, was so much better. It's about two young women runing a school for girls, who are accused by a hateful little brat of being (GASP!) lesbians. And although the closest we get in this 1961 production to using that actual term is the word "unnatural," it's enough to ruin their lives.  A young Shirley McClaine is worth seeing in this, and James Garner, and Audrey Hepburn is, well, Audrey Hepburn. The rumor of the love that dare not speak its name is totally untrue — or is it? And I'll say no more, because you should see the movie for yourself, imperfect as it may be, as is Life Itself.

Because when I am not blogging, I sometimes cook,
and because woman does not live
by martinis alone,
I like this blog:

grapesandgreens.blogspot.com

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