Thu

23

Jul

2009

Nothing Doing!
Written by Pat Fortunato   
A minute ago, I tripped on the oriental rug in my office. Bad carpet! And if I weren't so naturally graceful (not), I could have fallen.

And if I had fallen, I might have hurt myself (Ouch!), and the rest of the afternoon and maybe the evening or even many days thereafter would have been taken up with dealing with that. I mean, I could have sprained an ankle, or broken one even. I could have sustained bruises, with blood and everything. Just cleaning that up really eats into your day.

dreamstime_6802168.jpgMaybe I would have had to go the (Gasp!) Emergency Room. At the very least, I'd have to do something with Band-Aids, which are never where I think I put them (see: I'VE LOST IT!), and that activity alone would have taken up a lot of time. Luckily, I caught myself, and have now dutifully returned to the computer, where I am writing this. You think blogs write themselves?

The thing is, because I DIDN'T fall, I saved all the time I would have spent dealing with that but-for-the-grace-of-the-gods-who-protect-the-graceless flop on the rug. So, I ask you: don't I have some free time coming?

Can't I just goof off for the rest of the day . . .



Hell yes.

With all this extra time, I feel that I can watch Oprah, an old movie, or Dr. Phil even. Hey! I might learn something. Or listen to music and thumb through all those magazines stacked up on the coffee table. (I never have coffee there. Does anyone? Maybe I should try it today.) I don't even have to actually read anything all the way through, just, you know, browse.

Better yet, I could tap into my inner Italian and do absolutely nothing. Perhaps you've heard the expression, il dolce far niente. "The sweetness of doing nothing." Not from an American, you haven't. We feel that we have to be busy doing SOMETHING, anything, all the damn time. We feel guilty if we're idle.

When people call and ask me what I'm doing, I sometimes make up things. I would never say, for example, Oh, I tripped on the rug and nearly fell and could have sustained god knows what injuries but I didn't so I took the rest of the day off. They wouldn't understand. Funny, but even saying that you're watching a game on TV its more acceptable that admitting you're just goofing off.

And unless we're working, shopping, cooking, cleaning, building something, or discovering the cure for male pattern baldness, we feel that we've doing nothing.

But think about it. Even when you're doing "nothing," and the Italians are the absolute masters of this, you're actually doing tons of things.

You probably got up, at some point, then you had coffee, or some god-awful protein drink, you brushed your teeth, maybe even flossed (now that's work!), you watched Good Morning America, you did stuff at your computer, you had lunch, you made a phone call, you made the bed (or just brushed off the crumbs from the crackers you had last night), you got dressed (sweats and a t-shirt count), you washed your face, a little, you looked out the window, you stared at the refrigerator. I could go on and on.

Plus, think of the thinking that sometimes occurs while you're doing "nothing." Answers to questions you've long pondered can come out of nowhere when you're not trying too hard to figure them out. Besides, haven't you ever heard the expression, "First, do no harm?" Well, you can't do any harm if you're not doing anything. Right?

Remember when I told you that you didn't have to get up at the crack of dawn unless you actually had to get up that early? Let Them Eat Worms! Well, now I'm telling you this:
Don't do something, just sit there!

Be lazy! Be actively inactive! Be Italian! You know you've always wanted to be. Although these days, most Italians seem to be as busy as we are. They drive like maniacs, so they must have something to do. Or maybe they're just in a hurry to get where they're going so they can do . . . nothing.

Look, something could have happened to you today that would have taken up hours and hours, maybe the whole day. But it didn't. So use this extra time wisely: Do Nothing.

Let me know how that works out for you . . .

 


 
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Comments  

 
0 # Cris 2009-07-21 16:40
I try very hard to do nothing - but something always gets in the way!!
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0 # Diana 2009-07-22 01:57
Didn't you ever hear that not making a decision is acutally making a decision? So, there you go. Do nothing about making that decision and have fun doing nothing! Try it, it's really easy once you get the hang of it.
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0 # Nodami 2009-07-24 14:53
hehehe its impossible to do nothing heheh,, the virtue of laziness hehehe is there a virtue like that one?hehehe
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0 # Carol 2009-07-27 06:39
Your blog is so â?? how do I say â?? haimishe (Yiddish) and I love it.
Carol Fass Publicity & Public Relations
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0 # Pat 2009-07-27 07:48
Dear Nadomi: Your comment is either very Zen or I am losing my mind. Either way works for me.
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0 # prodigalson35 2009-08-02 15:37
take it easy. extra care is good. cheers!
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0 # teri 2010-08-17 18:00
Oh my gosh! I'm so relieved to know, its my Italian is showing! I'm really not lazy! Wait til I tell my husband! Dolce!
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0 # Pat Fortunato 2010-08-18 04:23
Hi, Teri: The Italians get a lot of things right: food, wine, Dolce & Gabbana. And they're right about this, too. Glad the post made you see the light!!
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  Just as I posted I WAS THE GIRL PHANTOM, I found a website called The Ghost Who Blogs about The Phantom comics:

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Writing Comics. . .
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I'm on a watching-old-movies kick these days.
Great way to lose yourself.
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REVIEWS TO PERUSE

I'm All Right, Jack:
"Jack" is not just all right, it's totally delightful and fresh as a daisy after all these years (made in 1959), with Sellers, although not technically the lead, giving the brilliant performance that launched him as an international star. He plays an all-too-zealous union leader and father of a blonde bombshell who falls for Stanley, the British Upper Class Twit played, also to perfection, by Ian Carmichael, who you might remember from the Lord Peter Wimsey series. The makeout scenes between the the Twit and the Bombshell are priceless. But what is Stanley doing in this working class atmosphere anyway? Working. And too well at that. Forced by financial circumstances too dreary to discuss, he gets a job in his uncle's factory and messes things up for the other workers by, well, working, and thus making his fellow employees look bad. The film takes a big shot at unions — but also at management: they are manipulating white-collar thieves who'll do anything for a buck. Or a pound. Except for the ones, like Major Hitchcock, played by Terry Thomas, who are just plain lazy and inept. Needless to say, Stanley foils everybody's plans, labor and management alike, to my great joy and delight. Oh, and on top of everything else, Margaret Rutherford plays dotty dowager Aunt Dolly. Delicious!

 The Big Lebowski:
What can you say that hasn't been said before: brilliant, inspired, with some of the most memorable lines ever to come out of a movie, the most quoted being "The Dude abides." Oh yes. For anyone who hasn't yet seen the film, and it's now out in a special Blu-Ray edition if that floats your bowling ball. The Dude in question,  played to perfection by Jeff Bridges, is an out-of-work pothead who is roughed up and has his rug destroyed by some thugs mistaking him for another, bigger, Lebowski. The Dude is really upset about this because, man, "that rug really tied the room together," which The Dude says with all seriousness and not a trace of irony, a great comic touch considering the condition his condition is in.  Oh, and besides "Just Dropped In," all the music is perfect for the film. The plot, according to Wikipedia, which has been known to be wrong, is "loosely based on Raymond chandler's novel, The Big Sleep." Could be. But who cares. It involves a bowling competition, "the occasional acid flashback," a trophy wife, a group of German nihilists, a kidnapping gone awry, a mad millionaire and his lackey, in another great performance by Philip Seymour Hoffman. Actually, they're all great performances. Never a fan of John Goodman before or since, he is brilliant in this film. And so are John Turturro, overacting his little heart out, Steve Buscemi in a nerdy, needy role that makes you marvel at his star turn in Boardwalk Empire, and even the actors in the smaller parts, especially Julianne Moore and Sam Elliott. Elliott plays The Stranger (God? Everyman? The part of us that roots for the bad boy?) who elicits from Bridges the immortal words, "The Dude abides." Which prompts The Stranger to comment to the audience: "Don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I sure hope he makes the finals." We'll never know about the bowling trophy because there's never been a sequel to this 1998 film by the great Coen Brothers, and I hope there never will be. It just abides, as all great films do.

Prince of the City:
Okay, the criticisms of this movie are not totally unfounded: it's too long, and Treat Williams may have overacted a bit, although I found him so deliciously charming I couldn't care less, and there's one part concerning the Jerry Orbach character I just didn't understand. But get over it, The New Yorker, this is one powerful movie. And yes, Dog Day Afternoon it isn't, but what it? The DVD has a great special feature with Williams (I so want to call him Treat) and Sidney (what the hell: I once made a meatloaf sandwich for the man) that explains a lot about filmmaking in general and this movie in particular. Also, Sidney's views on good and evil, and how things are not so black and white as you think. I loved it.

Bad Day At Black Rock:
Recommended on TCM by Robert Osbourne as a film he originally had no interest in seeing, then loved it, and by Alex Baldwin, who pointed out the great actors in the cast, including Lee Marvin, Ernest Brognine and Dean Jagger. Well, after all that, I had to like it, right?  I did. A lot. It was a Good Day On My Couch.
Behind the Scenes Stuff: Spencer Tracey was off drinking and wouldn't commit to the film until the producers (who wanted him desperately) told him that they had Alan Ladd, at which point Tracey grabbed it.  He was perfect for the part, wearing a dark suit and tie the entire time in a western setting,  pulling it off perfectly. Other than that "fashion statement," the film makes a strong case against racism: the hatred of the Japanese during WW2. See it.

Song of The Thin Man:
I usually like these frothy, silly, suave, utter unrealistic films from the 30s and 40s, with William Powell and Myrna Loy as the couple we'd all like to be — if only we had the looks, brains, money, a huge capacity for drinking and a dog like Asta. But this one was a stinker, rather than a stinger, or maybe a sinker, because  it turned out to be the last, not to mention the least, in the series. Watch any of the others four sequels, but not this one: Even the pooch jumped the shark.

The Children's Hour:
It had its moments, and just looking at Audrey Hepburn makes life worth living, but mostly I kept thinking that the play, by Lillian Hellman, was so much better. It's about two young women runing a school for girls, who are accused by a hateful little brat of being (GASP!) lesbians. And although the closest we get in this 1961 production to using that actual term is the word "unnatural," it's enough to ruin their lives.  A young Shirley McClaine is worth seeing in this, and James Garner, and Audrey Hepburn is, well, Audrey Hepburn. The rumor of the love that dare not speak its name is totally untrue — or is it? And I'll say no more, because you should see the movie for yourself, imperfect as it may be, as is Life Itself.

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