Sat 30 May 2009 |
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| Ladies of the View, listen up. You said that stores are catering more and more to small women, AKA “skinny bitches,” and are phasing out bigger sizes. Oh yeah? Well, first of all, smaller women, AKA petites, are not all “skinny bitches!” Maybe you have us confused with the size 0’s in Juicy Couture: but that’s not what being small means to most of us. Petite sizes go up to 14, so we’re not necessarily thin, just, you know, not very tall. Okay, short. Or my personal favorite, Vertically Challenged. Whatever you call us, we’re mad as hell at department stores After I heard on the View that small sizes were in, I went directly to Saks, the only rational thing for a girl to do. But not so fast, Shorty! The space on the 9th floor that used to be the Petite Department is now Plus Sizes. I realize that larger ladies deserve their own place to shop, but isn’t there room for us petites? A little room? We don’t take up very much space. ![]() And yet, Petite Departments all over are closing faster than you can bing Behar or Walters, “bing” being the new google, in case anyone wants to know. And even if you're not petite yourself, surely you know and love someone who is tiny. Someone who — before the advent of Petite Departments — had a very deep and meaningful relationship with her tailor, when she much preferred that cute guy in Human Resources. The thing about tailors is . . . 1) None of the ones I've ever used look remotely like the guy in the illustration. 2) No matter how good they are, some items of clothing never fit exactly right. However much money and time you spend having them altered, it's not the same as getting the right size in the first place. The pockets are in the wrong place. The lines aren’t proportional. And the overall look is just too damn big. To add injury to insult, or is it the other way around, the Petite Department at Sakes vanished, seemingly overnight — Without A Trace. Where is Anthony La Paglia when we need him? Oh, let’s face it, we always need him. Maybe I was too busy blogging to do much shopping, but I never heard that they were eliminating Petites. Couldn’t they at least have called me or sent a card of condolence? Yes, there are a few meager selections for petites on other floors, but nowhere the Vertically Challenged can truly call home. The nerve of these people! Don’t they know that good things come in small packages? Haven’t they heard about “short and sweet?” (I’m making this post shorter than usual to prove that point, since I myself, although lacking in height, am not always all that saccharine. . .) They did this once before at Saks! There was a huge public outcry at the time (that is, the number was huge, the women protesting weren’t), and guess what, they brought the department back. Now we have to endure this heartbreak again. Isn’t it enough that we can’t reach anything in the top cabinet, that clerks look over our heads at ticket counters, and our feet dangle a few inches above the floor of the new crosstown busses? The Petite Department at Lord & Taylor is my only hope these days, but girls, you know you can’t depend on a single store for all your shopping needs. Macy’s may still have a section, but Macy’s is too big. I get confused. And Bloomingdales Petites are scattered all around, so I get tired and cranky. If I am forced to shop in the regular departments, I have to get a size 2 or 4. And get it altered. Does that make me a skinny bitch? Or just a ---, oh never mind. Help! Does anyone out there know good places for petites? On-line maybe? It is also my ‘View” that: One Size Does NOT Fit All! So I’d love to hear from anyone who has trouble finding clothes that fit. ADD YOUR COMMENT BELOW: IT'S EASY, I PROMISE: •NAME (FIRST NAME OKAY) •E-MAIL (WON’T APPEAR) •COMMENT (AS SHORT AS YOU WANT) YOU WON’T SEE YOUR COMMENT INSTANTLY, BUT IT WILL BE POSTED ASAP. |
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Comments
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Bitter Patter
NO LAUGHING MATTER:
Did Demi Moore overdose
on laughing gas??
That's what's being reported
to those of us at:
A DEVOUT COWARD
GOES TO THE DENTIST
Have you seen The Artist? Seeing it mentioned at
The Golden Globes reminded me that that not ALL movies are
Incredibly Loud!
Do NOT Google Santorum.
I warned you . . .
I did it!
I actually got that
LITTLE BLACK DRESS!
How hard was it?
Click on the link above.
I also got my iPhone.
It's great.
Thank you Steve Jobs
Wherever you are.
Just as I posted I WAS THE GIRL PHANTOM, I found a website called The Ghost Who Blogs about The Phantom comics:
http://falkonthewildside.blogspot.com
Writing Comics. . .
Was a small but wonderful part of my checkered career, and doing a post about it brought back a lot of great memories. If you know any other women in NYC who wrote — or are writing — comics, tell me how to get in touch with them.
I'm on a watching-old-movies kick these days.
Great way to lose yourself.
If you're lucky, you'll never be found.
REVIEWS TO PERUSE
I'm All Right, Jack:
"Jack" is not just all right, it's totally delightful and fresh as a daisy after all these years (made in 1959), with Sellers, although not technically the lead, giving the brilliant performance that launched him as an international star. He plays an all-too-zealous union leader and father of a blonde bombshell who falls for Stanley, the British Upper Class Twit played, also to perfection, by Ian Carmichael, who you might remember from the Lord Peter Wimsey series. The makeout scenes between the the Twit and the Bombshell are priceless. But what is Stanley doing in this working class atmosphere anyway? Working. And too well at that. Forced by financial circumstances too dreary to discuss, he gets a job in his uncle's factory and messes things up for the other workers by, well, working, and thus making his fellow employees look bad. The film takes a big shot at unions — but also at management: they are manipulating white-collar thieves who'll do anything for a buck. Or a pound. Except for the ones, like Major Hitchcock, played by Terry Thomas, who are just plain lazy and inept. Needless to say, Stanley foils everybody's plans, labor and management alike, to my great joy and delight. Oh, and on top of everything else, Margaret Rutherford plays dotty dowager Aunt Dolly. Delicious!
The Big Lebowski:
What can you say that hasn't been said before: brilliant, inspired, with some of the most memorable lines ever to come out of a movie, the most quoted being "The Dude abides." Oh yes. For anyone who hasn't yet seen the film, and it's now out in a special Blu-Ray edition if that floats your bowling ball. The Dude in question, played to perfection by Jeff Bridges, is an out-of-work pothead who is roughed up and has his rug destroyed by some thugs mistaking him for another, bigger, Lebowski. The Dude is really upset about this because, man, "that rug really tied the room together," which The Dude says with all seriousness and not a trace of irony, a great comic touch considering the condition his condition is in. Oh, and besides "Just Dropped In," all the music is perfect for the film. The plot, according to Wikipedia, which has been known to be wrong, is "loosely based on Raymond chandler's novel, The Big Sleep." Could be. But who cares. It involves a bowling competition, "the occasional acid flashback," a trophy wife, a group of German nihilists, a kidnapping gone awry, a mad millionaire and his lackey, in another great performance by Philip Seymour Hoffman. Actually, they're all great performances. Never a fan of John Goodman before or since, he is brilliant in this film. And so are John Turturro, overacting his little heart out, Steve Buscemi in a nerdy, needy role that makes you marvel at his star turn in Boardwalk Empire, and even the actors in the smaller parts, especially Julianne Moore and Sam Elliott. Elliott plays The Stranger (God? Everyman? The part of us that roots for the bad boy?) who elicits from Bridges the immortal words, "The Dude abides." Which prompts The Stranger to comment to the audience: "Don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I sure hope he makes the finals." We'll never know about the bowling trophy because there's never been a sequel to this 1998 film by the great Coen Brothers, and I hope there never will be. It just abides, as all great films do.
Prince of the City:
Okay, the criticisms of this movie are not totally unfounded: it's too long, and Treat Williams may have overacted a bit, although I found him so deliciously charming I couldn't care less, and there's one part concerning the Jerry Orbach character I just didn't understand. But get over it, The New Yorker, this is one powerful movie. And yes, Dog Day Afternoon it isn't, but what it? The DVD has a great special feature with Williams (I so want to call him Treat) and Sidney (what the hell: I once made a meatloaf sandwich for the man) that explains a lot about filmmaking in general and this movie in particular. Also, Sidney's views on good and evil, and how things are not so black and white as you think. I loved it.
Bad Day At Black Rock:
Recommended on TCM by Robert Osbourne as a film he originally had no interest in seeing, then loved it, and by Alex Baldwin, who pointed out the great actors in the cast, including Lee Marvin, Ernest Brognine and Dean Jagger. Well, after all that, I had to like it, right? I did. A lot. It was a Good Day On My Couch.
Behind the Scenes Stuff: Spencer Tracey was off drinking and wouldn't commit to the film until the producers (who wanted him desperately) told him that they had Alan Ladd, at which point Tracey grabbed it. He was perfect for the part, wearing a dark suit and tie the entire time in a western setting, pulling it off perfectly. Other than that "fashion statement," the film makes a strong case against racism: the hatred of the Japanese during WW2. See it.
Song of The Thin Man:
I usually like these frothy, silly, suave, utter unrealistic films from the 30s and 40s, with William Powell and Myrna Loy as the couple we'd all like to be — if only we had the looks, brains, money, a huge capacity for drinking and a dog like Asta. But this one was a stinker, rather than a stinger, or maybe a sinker, because it turned out to be the last, not to mention the least, in the series. Watch any of the others four sequels, but not this one: Even the pooch jumped the shark.
The Children's Hour:
It had its moments, and just looking at Audrey Hepburn makes life worth living, but mostly I kept thinking that the play, by Lillian Hellman, was so much better. It's about two young women runing a school for girls, who are accused by a hateful little brat of being (GASP!) lesbians. And although the closest we get in this 1961 production to using that actual term is the word "unnatural," it's enough to ruin their lives. A young Shirley McClaine is worth seeing in this, and James Garner, and Audrey Hepburn is, well, Audrey Hepburn. The rumor of the love that dare not speak its name is totally untrue — or is it? And I'll say no more, because you should see the movie for yourself, imperfect as it may be, as is Life Itself.
by martinis alone,
I like this blog:
grapesandgreens.blogspot.com
BITTER PATTER
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Comments
Well, I guess I should thank god for small favors . . . and tailors.
On the other hand. . .
BAH HUMBUG
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