Thu 19 Mar 2009 |
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If I were on a diet, I’d really resent hearing about those “new” plans on the market that I’d already tried. I mean, how many spins can you put on low calorie, low fat, or low carbs? Apparently, like the universe, it’s endless. Since I don’t do diets, yet need something to rail against (I am, after all, a professional whiner), what I do allow to bug me are all the “new” philosophies that I hear about— things that have been around forever— like “The Secret,” which had viewers of Oprah in a frenzy last year.  The Secret, I’m here to tell you, to save you the expense of buying the DVD, is simple: Everything in the universe is connected, especially your thoughts, so that what you think about directly affects your life. Put another way, you get what you ask the universe to give you. It’s not like praying or begging, but like placing an order in a catalog. (And if the universe is explanding, as Woody Allen says it is, then the choice of goodies just keeps getting bigger.) Just as you would at www.gap.com (they don't call it the worldwide web for nothing), you have to be specific. I mean, you can't just order a T-shirt, you have to choose the color, size and length of sleeves. Likewise, you can't be vague with the universe. Saying "I want to be happy" won't cut it. You have to spell out your request/order in some detail. And after that, you have to work, sometimes really hard, to achieve your goal. That's the price you pay. Shipping and tax included. But if you do this, you will get what you want —and that's the best deal in the universe . . . Trust me, folks, this is not new. I’m not saying it’s bad, nor am I mocking it as some have. Maureen Dowd called it a cross between Dr. Phil and the Da Vinci Code. Well, yeah, maybe, a little around the edges. If I were a cynic, I’d say that’s it’s a new way to make money from an old idea. All I know is that when I went to the web site, it asked me for $4.95 to enter, and when I didn’t, that colorful whirling ball came up and wouldn’t stop until I shut down the computer and rebooted. Coincidence? Retribution? You decide. (You could always read the book. Remember books?) Anyway, this whole philosophy is anything but new. It probably goes back to the time of Aristotle (a lot of good it did him!) or to some cheery caveman (one of them who hasn’t seen the Geico ads). Hello? Positive thinking? As in: The Power of? As in, Norman Vincent Peale? It’s no secret that he preached these ideas and had a huge following more than a half century ago. How about the practice in the early 1900’s, revived in the sixties (what wasn’t?), of repeating positive statements to yourself. “Every day in every way I am getting better and better” was the favorite mantra back then. Substitute “richer” and “richer” these days, but you get the point. On an episode of Upstairs Downstairs (worth getting on DVD), one of the characters repeats to herself that everyday in every way her baby is getting more and more male. Hmm. How do you say that in Chinese? Never mind. The point is that The Secret has been out there for a long, long, time, in many, many versions that all say basically the same thing. Beginning in the seventies and up to the present, I have sometimes used a visualization technique called Psycho Cybernetics. The idea is that if you can picture yourself doing something—really picture it, in clear and vivid detail—you can do it in actuality. Say you want to be able to do a perfect swan dive off the high platform. You don’t just picture yourself doing the dive, you visualize every step of the process in detail: you close your eyes and see yourself in your red Speedo walking up the steps (there are four), moving to the front of the diving board (another four steps, perhaps) taking a deep breathe, springing up and down (however many times you need), and finally, lifting off in perfect form off the board and into the water, cleanly, vertically, making the slightest little nearly silent SPLASH! You do this over and over until you believe you can do it, and then you can. I can tell you for certain that this works. I, for one, cannot begin to imagine myself executing a perfect swan dive off the high platform anytime in this lifetime. And sure enough, I can’t. All right, that’s not fair. And in reality, I have successfully used visualization to win over difficult clients, to get the apartment I wanted (you think that’s easy in Manhattan?), ride a horse (not well, but without falling off), even to find a man! Yes, yes, I swear it’s true. I worked with a counselor nearly 20 years ago who helped me to focus on what I really wanted. So I pictured myself and this person, whoever he was, cooking together and laughing. Soon after, I totally got my wish. It came with a few features I couldn’t have begun to dream up (let’s not go there) but really, although we do bicker about how much salt to put in the pasta water, we also do cook and laugh, and it has been a happy relationship for all this time. This positive thinking stuff really works! It’s always been true that like attracts like. So if you’re happy —or depressed —most of the time, that’s how the kind of person who’ll gravitate towards you will be, too. It’s also true that How a Man Thinketh ( a book written in the 1890’s by James Allen) really does count. It counts a lot, according to Allen, to the point that “all that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts.” The book calls this idea “The Strangest Secret.” Anyone ever hear of Dennis Waitley, Tony Robbins, or Wayne You’ll-See-It-When-You-Believe-It Dyer? I think they’re all in on the secret and will be happy to share their version of it with you. I haven’t read Think and Get Rich, but I suspect the title says it all. And what about Chicken Soup for the Soul? Isn’t that a long way of saying all this? For a condensed version (I couldn’t help myself) here’s what Loretta Lynn once told me in an interview about how she overcame obstacles: “Honey, I didn’t think about what I didn’t have, but what I did have.” Worked for her, didn’t it. Although you could argue that she had a lot to work with. Did you know that at the turn of the century (20th, that is), there was a lot of this positive thinking going on. On New Years Eve, 1899, people were so wildly optimistic about the coming century that they saw a big snowstorm in the Northeast as a positive omen —a fresh new beginning—of wonderful things to come. Science and technology, they thought, would cure everything. Harumph, a person might be tempted to say. Not I, of course. I once studied a discipline called Religious Science, not to be confused with Scientology, I was always quick to add. Religious Science, also called Science of Mind, doesn’t have Tom Cruise, thank god, but what it does have is the philosophy that everything is connected. And if everything is connected, then your thoughts are powerful, and you can control your life and . . . sound familiar? Science of Mind also teaches about the concept of abundance, a prime feature of The Secret. The belief is that there is an infinite amount of everything, so that if you get something, it doesn’t mean that someone else will have to go without. There’s plenty for everyone! This is a nice thought, but it’s not a new thought. Although, to give The Secret its due, in a world where the haves and have mores seem to be getting it all, it’s good to be reminded of this. Did you notice that at the beginning of this article I said that I “allow” something to annoy me? That was my little way of telling you that you choose your thoughts, just the way you choose what you eat. And a steady diet of negativity can get you into deep doodoo, whereas positive thinking. . . oh you know. I used to tell people to “talk to the universe” to solve their problems. Of course, they hated me for that. That’s another thing: it’s fine for someone like Oprah (there is no one else in the universe like Oprah) to broadcast the good news to millions, but you, on the other hand, should not try this at home. Or the office. People don’t want to hear, from you or me anyway, that they are the cause of all their problems, and that they could have a better life if they gave themselves an attitude adjustment. If you tell them about this too aggressively, they might be tempted to give you one, upside the head. Look on the bright side. You know The Secret. Now you can be rich. And thin. And never grow old? (Why doesn’t that one work, I wonder. Never mind.) Let us go forth in our wonderfulness and unleash the glorious power of our thoughts into the bountiful universe. Negativity? Don’t even think about it. |
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Bitter Patter
NO LAUGHING MATTER:
Did Demi Moore overdose
on laughing gas??
That's what's being reported
to those of us at:
A DEVOUT COWARD
GOES TO THE DENTIST
Have you seen The Artist? Seeing it mentioned at
The Golden Globes reminded me that that not ALL movies are
Incredibly Loud!
Do NOT Google Santorum.
I warned you . . .
I did it!
I actually got that
LITTLE BLACK DRESS!
How hard was it?
Click on the link above.
I also got my iPhone.
It's great.
Thank you Steve Jobs
Wherever you are.
Just as I posted I WAS THE GIRL PHANTOM, I found a website called The Ghost Who Blogs about The Phantom comics:
http://falkonthewildside.blogspot.com
Writing Comics. . .
Was a small but wonderful part of my checkered career, and doing a post about it brought back a lot of great memories. If you know any other women in NYC who wrote — or are writing — comics, tell me how to get in touch with them.
I'm on a watching-old-movies kick these days.
Great way to lose yourself.
If you're lucky, you'll never be found.
REVIEWS TO PERUSE
I'm All Right, Jack:
"Jack" is not just all right, it's totally delightful and fresh as a daisy after all these years (made in 1959), with Sellers, although not technically the lead, giving the brilliant performance that launched him as an international star. He plays an all-too-zealous union leader and father of a blonde bombshell who falls for Stanley, the British Upper Class Twit played, also to perfection, by Ian Carmichael, who you might remember from the Lord Peter Wimsey series. The makeout scenes between the the Twit and the Bombshell are priceless. But what is Stanley doing in this working class atmosphere anyway? Working. And too well at that. Forced by financial circumstances too dreary to discuss, he gets a job in his uncle's factory and messes things up for the other workers by, well, working, and thus making his fellow employees look bad. The film takes a big shot at unions — but also at management: they are manipulating white-collar thieves who'll do anything for a buck. Or a pound. Except for the ones, like Major Hitchcock, played by Terry Thomas, who are just plain lazy and inept. Needless to say, Stanley foils everybody's plans, labor and management alike, to my great joy and delight. Oh, and on top of everything else, Margaret Rutherford plays dotty dowager Aunt Dolly. Delicious!
The Big Lebowski:
What can you say that hasn't been said before: brilliant, inspired, with some of the most memorable lines ever to come out of a movie, the most quoted being "The Dude abides." Oh yes. For anyone who hasn't yet seen the film, and it's now out in a special Blu-Ray edition if that floats your bowling ball. The Dude in question, played to perfection by Jeff Bridges, is an out-of-work pothead who is roughed up and has his rug destroyed by some thugs mistaking him for another, bigger, Lebowski. The Dude is really upset about this because, man, "that rug really tied the room together," which The Dude says with all seriousness and not a trace of irony, a great comic touch considering the condition his condition is in. Oh, and besides "Just Dropped In," all the music is perfect for the film. The plot, according to Wikipedia, which has been known to be wrong, is "loosely based on Raymond chandler's novel, The Big Sleep." Could be. But who cares. It involves a bowling competition, "the occasional acid flashback," a trophy wife, a group of German nihilists, a kidnapping gone awry, a mad millionaire and his lackey, in another great performance by Philip Seymour Hoffman. Actually, they're all great performances. Never a fan of John Goodman before or since, he is brilliant in this film. And so are John Turturro, overacting his little heart out, Steve Buscemi in a nerdy, needy role that makes you marvel at his star turn in Boardwalk Empire, and even the actors in the smaller parts, especially Julianne Moore and Sam Elliott. Elliott plays The Stranger (God? Everyman? The part of us that roots for the bad boy?) who elicits from Bridges the immortal words, "The Dude abides." Which prompts The Stranger to comment to the audience: "Don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I sure hope he makes the finals." We'll never know about the bowling trophy because there's never been a sequel to this 1998 film by the great Coen Brothers, and I hope there never will be. It just abides, as all great films do.
Prince of the City:
Okay, the criticisms of this movie are not totally unfounded: it's too long, and Treat Williams may have overacted a bit, although I found him so deliciously charming I couldn't care less, and there's one part concerning the Jerry Orbach character I just didn't understand. But get over it, The New Yorker, this is one powerful movie. And yes, Dog Day Afternoon it isn't, but what it? The DVD has a great special feature with Williams (I so want to call him Treat) and Sidney (what the hell: I once made a meatloaf sandwich for the man) that explains a lot about filmmaking in general and this movie in particular. Also, Sidney's views on good and evil, and how things are not so black and white as you think. I loved it.
Bad Day At Black Rock:
Recommended on TCM by Robert Osbourne as a film he originally had no interest in seeing, then loved it, and by Alex Baldwin, who pointed out the great actors in the cast, including Lee Marvin, Ernest Brognine and Dean Jagger. Well, after all that, I had to like it, right? I did. A lot. It was a Good Day On My Couch.
Behind the Scenes Stuff: Spencer Tracey was off drinking and wouldn't commit to the film until the producers (who wanted him desperately) told him that they had Alan Ladd, at which point Tracey grabbed it. He was perfect for the part, wearing a dark suit and tie the entire time in a western setting, pulling it off perfectly. Other than that "fashion statement," the film makes a strong case against racism: the hatred of the Japanese during WW2. See it.
Song of The Thin Man:
I usually like these frothy, silly, suave, utter unrealistic films from the 30s and 40s, with William Powell and Myrna Loy as the couple we'd all like to be — if only we had the looks, brains, money, a huge capacity for drinking and a dog like Asta. But this one was a stinker, rather than a stinger, or maybe a sinker, because it turned out to be the last, not to mention the least, in the series. Watch any of the others four sequels, but not this one: Even the pooch jumped the shark.
The Children's Hour:
It had its moments, and just looking at Audrey Hepburn makes life worth living, but mostly I kept thinking that the play, by Lillian Hellman, was so much better. It's about two young women runing a school for girls, who are accused by a hateful little brat of being (GASP!) lesbians. And although the closest we get in this 1961 production to using that actual term is the word "unnatural," it's enough to ruin their lives. A young Shirley McClaine is worth seeing in this, and James Garner, and Audrey Hepburn is, well, Audrey Hepburn. The rumor of the love that dare not speak its name is totally untrue — or is it? And I'll say no more, because you should see the movie for yourself, imperfect as it may be, as is Life Itself.
by martinis alone,
I like this blog:
grapesandgreens.blogspot.com
BITTER PATTER
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Comments
poorest of us have so much more than many in this world would ever dream of.
Pat has given some very useful advice: be specific, be focused, be optimistic and above all do not send your request through ASK.COM.
Don't dwell on what others have or achieve if it's not for you.
If we live our lives according to the dictates of others, we are headed straight to the road
of unhappiness. And, it has been proven, "eccentrics" (those who do not follow sheep-like) live
LONGER!
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