Wed 20 May 2009 |
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My alleged book club (we are a hard group to get on the same page) is reading Madame Bovary. Or trying to. Geez Louise, it’s dense! FYI, the name of our little group is the Geez Louise International Book Club, or GLIB. We do have a Louise, and we once had an international member, but she has returned to Italy. Was it something we read?![]() Anyway, the author Gustave Flaubert was constantly asked the question, Who is Madame Bovary? Was she based on a real person —his sometime mistress, perhaps? A totally fictional character —his less-than ideal woman? Mais non, he said, she is none of these! Pressed beyond endurance, he gave his infamous answer: Madame Bovary, c’est moi. It’s me? I mean, it’s him? Really? Nobody seems to know what that means: Does Emma represent everyman, er, woman? (He can't have meant it literally, could he?) Maybe it doesn't mean anything: he must have been sick and tired of discussing that book when all his others were being virtually ignored, and could have just said something to shut us all up. We’ll never know. But I was listening to a tape last night about the world’s greatest novels (Sorry, Gustave, but Bovary really was your best shot), which discussed Emma’s faults — her fatal flaws, actually — that led directly to her really nasty downfall. Unfortunately, her sins sound very familiar. A lot like mine. Yikes! And maybe like yours . . . First of all, Emma Bovary loved pretty things: Guilty as charged. She spent too much money on them: Gulp. She had affairs: No comment. She gave her lovers expensive gifts, thus combining two fatal flaws in one fell (shopping) swoop: I take the fifth on this. The gold key chain and the silver flask, both from Tiffany’s, that I may have bought for two low-down heels who shall remain nameless (present husband most assuredly excluded!) — You’ll never prove it. Madame B. liked having her hands looking nice: Oh yeah? But did she have a Korean nail salon on every corner? With Special Prices on Monday and Tuesday? No woman could resist. She kept taking up pursuits, trivial or otherwise, then dropping them: •Like . . . Italian lessons: Scusi! I will learn it. Someday. •Or becoming religious: Well, I did look into Buddhism once. •Or attempting to read the classics: Like Madame Bovary, perhaps? Personally I hate it that The Odyssey sits there on my bookshelf gathering the dust of the ages and reminding me of Yet Another Good Intention Run Amok. She runs amok! I, on the other hand, merely walk. Especially with this latest outbreak of sciatica. And there the comparison, thank god, seems to end. Unlike Emma, I don’t have a doctor, dull-witted or otherwise, as a husband, and if I did, I most definitely would not coerce him into performing an unnecessary, experimental operation on a poor, ignorant boy with a club foot. Yecch. I don’t even like necessary, non-experimental surgeries, and would never encourage anyone to have one much less perform one. And I will never, ever swallow poison, knowingly anyway. What a miserable, stupid, ugly thing to do. It hurts! Plus, you really look horrible in the end, and I am way too vain. Come to think of it, so was she. What WAS she thinking? Menopause Manor Anyway, all this reminds me of nights long ago in my college dorm, which we heartlessly called Menopause Manor. We were so young. Our nickname for Flaubert’s masterpiece was, of course, Madame Ovary. And through the years, I’ve sometimes thought of myself as that. We women are often ruled by hormones, both raging and lack of, anatomy being at least a part of destiny, no matter what Gloria Steinum says. But then again, we don't have all that testosterone. I don’t know about you, but I‘ve often been caught in a vicious (menstrual) cycle of: when will I get it, am I getting it now, I hope I’m getting it now, I hope I’m not getting it now, will I get it on the day of the prom? The SATs? My wedding —any of them? And then, finally, why aren’t I getting it? Did it stop for good? How do I feel about that? If I take certain hormones, I’ll get it, but why would I want it? Because it makes me feel young? But wouldn’t I prefer doing without the mess, not to mention the pain. The Old and the Crampless. It’s so unfair the way life makes you pay. Back at Menopause Manor, when we were Young and Clueless, we had an English Lit professor who pointed out that Flaubert never judged Emma. And why should he, I think now. Did Flaubert (or the professor for that matter) ever once have to worry about getting his period, not to mention getting his nails done? Who are they to judge us? Flaubert did slip once though in the book, I’m told. At some point (I’ll have to read it again to say at which particular point, and that will happen when hell freezes over), he wrote a haunting two word sentence, “Poor Emma.” Poor Emma, indeed, who comes to her end because she was such a romantic (oh no!) and because she had read too many novels (I’m doomed) . Oh well. Live and learn. Or, in Emma’s case, live and loin. I guess I’ll always identify with her, a little, and continue to think of myself as Madame Ovary. Have to remember to bring this up at the book club, although we usually meet for lunch, and I try to avoid the words “bring it up” whenever possible. Wonder if the other "Glibbies" read the book this time. Wonder what Oprah would make of all this. . . . Dear Reader: Please suggest a book for us that might be a tad more fun than Madame Bovary! (No offense, Gustave, and it's great writing and all that, but I mean, really.) ADD YOUR BOOK CHOICE/COMMENT BELOW: IT'S EASY, I PROMISE: •NAME (FIRST NAME OKAY) •E-MAIL (WON’T APPEAR) (TITLE/ WEBSITE: OPTIONAL) •COMMENT •CHECK “TERMS OF USAGE” BOX. THAT’S ALL, FOLKS! (YOU WON’T SEE YOUR COMMENT INSTANTLY, BUT IT WILL BE POSTED ASAP.) |
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Bitter Patter
Friday the 13th
Came and went.
I bought a lottery ticket
And didn't win.
Reread
THE 13th FLOOR
To remind myself how lucky I am.
WENT FISHING!
Well, eating fish anyway.
And swimming, although not with the fishes in the Uncle Nunzio sense.
Back from the Caribbean.
But don't be TOO jealous:
My tan has already faded.
Besdies, before we left, I had to go through
THE ELEVEN STAGES OF PACKING
Which is not for sissies.
Just got a call from
(Gasp!) the dental hygienist.
Hasn't she read:
A DEVOUT COWARD
GOES TO THE DENTIST
Do NOT Google Santorum.
I warned you . . .
Just as I posted I WAS THE GIRL PHANTOM, I found a website called The Ghost Who Blogs about The Phantom comics:
http://falkonthewildside.blogspot.com
Writing Comics. . .
Was a small but wonderful part of my checkered career, and doing a post about it brought back a lot of great memories. If you know any other women in NYC who wrote — or are writing — comics, tell me how to get in touch with them.
I'm on a watching-old-movies kick these days.
Great way to lose yourself.
If you're lucky, you'll never be found.
REVIEWS TO PERUSE
I'm All Right, Jack:
"Jack" is not just all right, it's totally delightful and fresh as a daisy after all these years (made in 1959), with Sellers, although not technically the lead, giving the brilliant performance that launched him as an international star. He plays an all-too-zealous union leader and father of a blonde bombshell who falls for Stanley, the British Upper Class Twit played, also to perfection, by Ian Carmichael, who you might remember from the Lord Peter Wimsey series. The makeout scenes between the the Twit and the Bombshell are priceless. But what is Stanley doing in this working class atmosphere anyway? Working. And too well at that. Forced by financial circumstances too dreary to discuss, he gets a job in his uncle's factory and messes things up for the other workers by, well, working, and thus making his fellow employees look bad. The film takes a big shot at unions — but also at management: they are manipulating white-collar thieves who'll do anything for a buck. Or a pound. Except for the ones, like Major Hitchcock, played by Terry Thomas, who are just plain lazy and inept. Needless to say, Stanley foils everybody's plans, labor and management alike, to my great joy and delight. Oh, and on top of everything else, Margaret Rutherford plays dotty dowager Aunt Dolly. Delicious!
The Big Lebowski:
What can you say that hasn't been said before: brilliant, inspired, with some of the most memorable lines ever to come out of a movie, the most quoted being "The Dude abides." Oh yes. For anyone who hasn't yet seen the film, and it's now out in a special Blu-Ray edition if that floats your bowling ball. The Dude in question, played to perfection by Jeff Bridges, is an out-of-work pothead who is roughed up and has his rug destroyed by some thugs mistaking him for another, bigger, Lebowski. The Dude is really upset about this because, man, "that rug really tied the room together," which The Dude says with all seriousness and not a trace of irony, a great comic touch considering the condition his condition is in. Oh, and besides "Just Dropped In," all the music is perfect for the film. The plot, according to Wikipedia, which has been known to be wrong, is "loosely based on Raymond chandler's novel, The Big Sleep." Could be. But who cares. It involves a bowling competition, "the occasional acid flashback," a trophy wife, a group of German nihilists, a kidnapping gone awry, a mad millionaire and his lackey, in another great performance by Philip Seymour Hoffman. Actually, they're all great performances. Never a fan of John Goodman before or since, he is brilliant in this film. And so are John Turturro, overacting his little heart out, Steve Buscemi in a nerdy, needy role that makes you marvel at his star turn in Boardwalk Empire, and even the actors in the smaller parts, especially Julianne Moore and Sam Elliott. Elliott plays The Stranger (God? Everyman? The part of us that roots for the bad boy?) who elicits from Bridges the immortal words, "The Dude abides." Which prompts The Stranger to comment to the audience: "Don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I sure hope he makes the finals." We'll never know about the bowling trophy because there's never been a sequel to this 1998 film by the great Coen Brothers, and I hope there never will be. It just abides, as all great films do.
Prince of the City:
Okay, the criticisms of this movie are not totally unfounded: it's too long, and Treat Williams may have overacted a bit, although I found him so deliciously charming I couldn't care less, and there's one part concerning the Jerry Orbach character I just didn't understand. But get over it, The New Yorker, this is one powerful movie. And yes, Dog Day Afternoon it isn't, but what it? The DVD has a great special feature with Williams (I so want to call him Treat) and Sidney (what the hell: I once made a meatloaf sandwich for the man) that explains a lot about filmmaking in general and this movie in particular. Also, Sidney's views on good and evil, and how things are not so black and white as you think. I loved it.
Bad Day At Black Rock:
Recommended on TCM by Robert Osbourne as a film he originally had no interest in seeing, then loved it, and by Alex Baldwin, who pointed out the great actors in the cast, including Lee Marvin, Ernest Brognine and Dean Jagger. Well, after all that, I had to like it, right? I did. A lot. It was a Good Day On My Couch.
Behind the Scenes Stuff: Spencer Tracey was off drinking and wouldn't commit to the film until the producers (who wanted him desperately) told him that they had Alan Ladd, at which point Tracey grabbed it. He was perfect for the part, wearing a dark suit and tie the entire time in a western setting, pulling it off perfectly. Other than that "fashion statement," the film makes a strong case against racism: the hatred of the Japanese during WW2. See it.
Song of The Thin Man:
I usually like these frothy, silly, suave, utter unrealistic films from the 30s and 40s, with William Powell and Myrna Loy as the couple we'd all like to be — if only we had the looks, brains, money, a huge capacity for drinking and a dog like Asta. But this one was a stinker, rather than a stinger, or maybe a sinker, because it turned out to be the last, not to mention the least, in the series. Watch any of the others four sequels, but not this one: Even the pooch jumped the shark.
The Children's Hour:
It had its moments, and just looking at Audrey Hepburn makes life worth living, but mostly I kept thinking that the play, by Lillian Hellman, was so much better. It's about two young women runing a school for girls, who are accused by a hateful little brat of being (GASP!) lesbians. And although the closest we get in this 1961 production to using that actual term is the word "unnatural," it's enough to ruin their lives. A young Shirley McClaine is worth seeing in this, and James Garner, and Audrey Hepburn is, well, Audrey Hepburn. The rumor of the love that dare not speak its name is totally untrue — or is it? And I'll say no more, because you should see the movie for yourself, imperfect as it may be, as is Life Itself.
by martinis alone,
I like this blog:
grapesandgreens.blogspot.com
BITTER PATTER
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