Wed 13 May 2009 |
|
I almost didn’t post anything today, because I’ve been too busy shopping on line for shoes. Why would someone with more shoes than Imelda Marcos need more? If you’re a woman, I don’t have to explain. But why would someone in Manhattan, the home of Shoe Mania, literally, use the Internet for shoes? Two words (and a fraction): 6½ Narrow.Yes, there are size 6½ shoes out there, and yes, Virginia, there are narrow widths (is that an oxymoron?), but rarely, if ever, do they occur in the same shoe. Almost never in styles that you'd actually want to wear. A recent visit to E-Bay (I was truly desperate) produced hundreds of shoes, but exactly one in 6½N. A lizard-like number in a pink, green, and yellow pattern. Just what I needed! What I need are the shoes that every other woman in New York seems to have: easygoing black slides, sandals and sling backs, colorful flats. What I have is a closetful of not-quite-right or downright awful shoes purchased in desperation. Plus a handful (footful?) of real winners, worn to a pulp, which will never be thrown out in my lifetime. Ironic, isn’t it, that someone who has so much trouble finding shoes has so many. But life is nothing if not ironic, don't you think . . . Let your computer do the walking I am staring at a pair of newly purchased, really bad shoes right now. They’re white low-heeled sandals and are sort of comfortable. (Comfort in women’s shoes is a relative term.) But they’re pretty ugly (another oxymoron?), and they cost $200. I ordered them, in the vain, and I do mean vain, hope that they would work. These shoes are the result of an exhaustive search on line, after an exhausting search on the streets of New York, walking in less than perfect shoes. I already know —from dismissive looks of shoe salesmen everywhere who hear my size and know they’re not going to make a sale —all the places NOT to look for shoes these days. Long ago, in a galaxy far away, I could find my size at several stores. One was Pappagallo, where Jackie O once admired the shoes I was trying on. (Be still my heart!) But fewer and fewer places—or brands—bother with narrows any more. Even if I felt like splurging and wanted something really stylish (and could be carried around on a platform like a Chinese princess) Jimmy Choo or Manolo Blahnik would only break my heart. They never even heard of 6½ narrows. Don’t tell me about stores specializing in small sizes like Giordano’s. They give me a warm welcome when I come in, but when they hear my size, the atmosphere turns chilly. They used to have a few narrows, but the last time I looked, there was absolutely nothing. These days, I walk on by. On line, I pretty quickly narrowed (HA!) my search to one brand, Stuart Weitzman. This wonderful man actually makes shoes in my size—and does variations of classic styles every year, so that the new version of the stretchy sandals I got last season will almost certainly fit. So, for a total of three hours, I visited Stuart Weitzman’s home page, plus sites like Arthur Beren, Neiman Marcus, Nordstrom, Saks, Footnotes, Zappos, Shoedini, and Shopzilla. The result was placing an order for black sandals, nothing spectacular but exactly what I needed, that were on sale (Oh joy!) and were therefore “only” $150. I looked desperately for something else because the more you bought, the more you saved: 30% off the first pair, 40% on the second, 50% on the third, and maybe they paid you for the fourth, I don’t remember anymore. But I couldn’t find anything else in my size that I remotely liked, so I gave up. Oh well, the one pair. Not bad. Okay. Everyone receiving a package of shoes from Stuart Weitzman, step forward. Not so fast, Fortunato! Check your e-mail, girl, where you’ll find a message from a nice man in Fort Lauderdale saying that they don’t have your size after all, thank you for your order, and have a nice life. Talk about de agony of de feet. (Sorry about that.) Not to be denied, and really obsessed at this point, I went back on line, this time determined to be more thorough and a bit more open-minded. After another three hours or so, exhausting all the sources and myself, I came up with four shoes to order: black slides from SW via Shoedini (they looked good), black sandals from Munro via Nordstrom (highly questionable but on sale), black mules from Donald Pliner via Footnotes (could work) and the infamous white sandals, from SW via Zappos. Even Stuart doesn’t get it right every time. Of the four pairs I ordered, two were on sale, the other two around $200 each, so the total came to over $600. But I wasn’t worried about the expense because I knew they all won’t work, and at best I’d end up with a pair or two and some shipping charges. I was far too optimistic. I was informed by Footnotes that whoops, they really only have a 7½ N on the mules. That left two pairs, and I never had been at all confident that a) I’ll actually receive the ones that looked like a good bet, or that b) the other ones would work. I didn’t. And they didn’t. But I’m definitely returning the sandals. A girl has to have some pride! Besides, I have other things to worry about . . . like buying a bathing suit. Which you can read all about in With A Throng In My Heart. Then again, summer always flies by, dosen’t it? And soon it will be time to be thinking about other things besides sandals . . . Like boots. FYI: As I was writing this, I got three e-mails from Zappos, info@6, and Cole Haan, none of which will do me the slightest bit of good. Next life, I’m coming back as an 8W (the average shoe size for American women)! But meanwhile, does anyone have any suggestions? Or stories? I do so love a good shoe story. |
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Comments
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Bitter Patter
NO LAUGHING MATTER:
Did Demi Moore overdose
on laughing gas??
That's what's being reported
to those of us at:
A DEVOUT COWARD
GOES TO THE DENTIST
Have you seen The Artist? Seeing it mentioned at
The Golden Globes reminded me that that not ALL movies are
Incredibly Loud!
Do NOT Google Santorum.
I warned you . . .
I did it!
I actually got that
LITTLE BLACK DRESS!
How hard was it?
Click on the link above.
I also got my iPhone.
It's great.
Thank you Steve Jobs
Wherever you are.
Just as I posted I WAS THE GIRL PHANTOM, I found a website called The Ghost Who Blogs about The Phantom comics:
http://falkonthewildside.blogspot.com
Writing Comics. . .
Was a small but wonderful part of my checkered career, and doing a post about it brought back a lot of great memories. If you know any other women in NYC who wrote — or are writing — comics, tell me how to get in touch with them.
I'm on a watching-old-movies kick these days.
Great way to lose yourself.
If you're lucky, you'll never be found.
REVIEWS TO PERUSE
I'm All Right, Jack:
"Jack" is not just all right, it's totally delightful and fresh as a daisy after all these years (made in 1959), with Sellers, although not technically the lead, giving the brilliant performance that launched him as an international star. He plays an all-too-zealous union leader and father of a blonde bombshell who falls for Stanley, the British Upper Class Twit played, also to perfection, by Ian Carmichael, who you might remember from the Lord Peter Wimsey series. The makeout scenes between the the Twit and the Bombshell are priceless. But what is Stanley doing in this working class atmosphere anyway? Working. And too well at that. Forced by financial circumstances too dreary to discuss, he gets a job in his uncle's factory and messes things up for the other workers by, well, working, and thus making his fellow employees look bad. The film takes a big shot at unions — but also at management: they are manipulating white-collar thieves who'll do anything for a buck. Or a pound. Except for the ones, like Major Hitchcock, played by Terry Thomas, who are just plain lazy and inept. Needless to say, Stanley foils everybody's plans, labor and management alike, to my great joy and delight. Oh, and on top of everything else, Margaret Rutherford plays dotty dowager Aunt Dolly. Delicious!
The Big Lebowski:
What can you say that hasn't been said before: brilliant, inspired, with some of the most memorable lines ever to come out of a movie, the most quoted being "The Dude abides." Oh yes. For anyone who hasn't yet seen the film, and it's now out in a special Blu-Ray edition if that floats your bowling ball. The Dude in question, played to perfection by Jeff Bridges, is an out-of-work pothead who is roughed up and has his rug destroyed by some thugs mistaking him for another, bigger, Lebowski. The Dude is really upset about this because, man, "that rug really tied the room together," which The Dude says with all seriousness and not a trace of irony, a great comic touch considering the condition his condition is in. Oh, and besides "Just Dropped In," all the music is perfect for the film. The plot, according to Wikipedia, which has been known to be wrong, is "loosely based on Raymond chandler's novel, The Big Sleep." Could be. But who cares. It involves a bowling competition, "the occasional acid flashback," a trophy wife, a group of German nihilists, a kidnapping gone awry, a mad millionaire and his lackey, in another great performance by Philip Seymour Hoffman. Actually, they're all great performances. Never a fan of John Goodman before or since, he is brilliant in this film. And so are John Turturro, overacting his little heart out, Steve Buscemi in a nerdy, needy role that makes you marvel at his star turn in Boardwalk Empire, and even the actors in the smaller parts, especially Julianne Moore and Sam Elliott. Elliott plays The Stranger (God? Everyman? The part of us that roots for the bad boy?) who elicits from Bridges the immortal words, "The Dude abides." Which prompts The Stranger to comment to the audience: "Don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I sure hope he makes the finals." We'll never know about the bowling trophy because there's never been a sequel to this 1998 film by the great Coen Brothers, and I hope there never will be. It just abides, as all great films do.
Prince of the City:
Okay, the criticisms of this movie are not totally unfounded: it's too long, and Treat Williams may have overacted a bit, although I found him so deliciously charming I couldn't care less, and there's one part concerning the Jerry Orbach character I just didn't understand. But get over it, The New Yorker, this is one powerful movie. And yes, Dog Day Afternoon it isn't, but what it? The DVD has a great special feature with Williams (I so want to call him Treat) and Sidney (what the hell: I once made a meatloaf sandwich for the man) that explains a lot about filmmaking in general and this movie in particular. Also, Sidney's views on good and evil, and how things are not so black and white as you think. I loved it.
Bad Day At Black Rock:
Recommended on TCM by Robert Osbourne as a film he originally had no interest in seeing, then loved it, and by Alex Baldwin, who pointed out the great actors in the cast, including Lee Marvin, Ernest Brognine and Dean Jagger. Well, after all that, I had to like it, right? I did. A lot. It was a Good Day On My Couch.
Behind the Scenes Stuff: Spencer Tracey was off drinking and wouldn't commit to the film until the producers (who wanted him desperately) told him that they had Alan Ladd, at which point Tracey grabbed it. He was perfect for the part, wearing a dark suit and tie the entire time in a western setting, pulling it off perfectly. Other than that "fashion statement," the film makes a strong case against racism: the hatred of the Japanese during WW2. See it.
Song of The Thin Man:
I usually like these frothy, silly, suave, utter unrealistic films from the 30s and 40s, with William Powell and Myrna Loy as the couple we'd all like to be — if only we had the looks, brains, money, a huge capacity for drinking and a dog like Asta. But this one was a stinker, rather than a stinger, or maybe a sinker, because it turned out to be the last, not to mention the least, in the series. Watch any of the others four sequels, but not this one: Even the pooch jumped the shark.
The Children's Hour:
It had its moments, and just looking at Audrey Hepburn makes life worth living, but mostly I kept thinking that the play, by Lillian Hellman, was so much better. It's about two young women runing a school for girls, who are accused by a hateful little brat of being (GASP!) lesbians. And although the closest we get in this 1961 production to using that actual term is the word "unnatural," it's enough to ruin their lives. A young Shirley McClaine is worth seeing in this, and James Garner, and Audrey Hepburn is, well, Audrey Hepburn. The rumor of the love that dare not speak its name is totally untrue — or is it? And I'll say no more, because you should see the movie for yourself, imperfect as it may be, as is Life Itself.
by martinis alone,
I like this blog:
grapesandgreens.blogspot.com
BITTER PATTER
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from the past.
someone with more shoes than Imelda Marcos need more? If you’re a woman, I don’t have to explain. But why would someone in Manhattan, the home of Shoe Mania, literally, use the Internet for shoes? Two words (and a fraction): 6½ Narrow.




Comments
Roz was a TV producer who made a ton of money so these are really nice shoes. I haven't looked at them in quite awhile so they may be dated but you know shoes seem to go in and out of fashion all the time. If you are interested in seeing them let me know.
In any event, I'd love to see them. Thanks!
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