Mon

19

Apr

2010

A FREE RIDE
Written by Pat Fortunato   
arthurgodfrey.jpg"For free, take; for buy, waste time."

So said Arthur Godfrey, a popular TV show personality back in the 50s and the inspiration for the ego-maniacal "Lonesome" Rhodes (Andy Griffith) in the classic film A Face in the Crowd. And while the wisdom of "The Old Redhead" is more than questionable (the man played the ukulele, for starters), he really nailed this one.

In a controlled study (wouldn't you like to see, just once, an uncontrolled study?), people were given a choice between two products, one clearly superior to the other but more expensive by 25 cents. El Cheapo was 10 cents, Brand Better was 35 cents. Happy to part with their hard-earned quarters, people sprang for Better. 

But then . . . both products were reduced by 10 cents. Brand Better was cheaper than before, but El Cheapo was cheaper than cheap: it was FREE! Guess what happened. Yup. Just about everyone took the freebie — and I'm guessing you would too. We all take things we don't want, don't need, and can't even think of anyone to give them to, just because they're free.

Then there's a free ride: a glitch in my Metro Card last month caused the turnstiles on New York City busses to read ERROR and the drivers would just wave me through. The card hadn't expired, and I had paid for it, so I wasn't trying to travel for nothing. But hey, for free . . . I took. After a while, drivers started giving me dirty looks. champagne.jpgPassengers, too. They thought I was one of those freeloaders who never seem to pay for anything. Uncomfortable with this kind of attention and starting to feel a little guilty around the edges, I got a new card and I'm back to being a law-abiding, pay-for-the-bus kind of gal.

Champagne Tastes . . .
But all this reminded me of a time, way back, when I fell in briefly with a group of semi-professional freeloaders. (I was young and needed the caviar.)  I met one of them at a party at the Russian Embassy, where the champagne was as free as the Crosstown bus.

And that wasn't all . . .

 

. . . On An I-Can't-Even-Pay-For-Beer Budget
These people, I found out, belonged to a loose network of similarly inclined skinflints and out-of-work types who knew where the parties were and exactly what you could expect to get at each one of them.

The Embassy was the real deal, but good pickings were to be had at many corporate affairs and charitable events. Hey, check out the smoked salmon (real Nova!) at . . . I forget where. Maybe it was the Friends of Norwegian Fishermen. Whatever. The point is, that every night, all over town, cocktail parties were being held where you could eat and drink. For free. The WASP affairs were the worst, because although the booze flowed freely, the hors d'oeuvres were mostly Cheez Whiz and Ritz Crackers, not worth shoving in your purse for later. Messy, too.

It would be hard to get into these events today, what with all the security checks. But in the era of Free Love, you could also get free food and drink, if you played your cards right. All you had to do was look the part.

windsortie.pjg.jpgThe women wore simple black dresses and pearls, the men, blazers, grey pants, immaculate white shirts and expensive-looking ties. One guy looked just like the Duke of Windsor, knot and all. He wore the same outfit each time I saw him, which wasn't very often, because I soon tired of these people and this scene. But it sure as hell opened my eyes to another side of society I had never dreamed existed. I thought of writing something about it, but never did until now.

So what is it about "free?" According to David Ogilvy, Confessions of An Advertising Man, it's the best possible word to use in ad copy, and who am I to say him nay. Besides, I have experience with getting stuff for nothing. And we know how well this worked out. If you don't, check out
MY FREE GIFT FROM ESTEE LAUDER.

But what's your "take" on this:

Do you take things for free just because they're, well, free?
Anything? Even a ukulele?

And what do you end up doing with them?
Remember, writing a comment is free, too,


For info on the whole Arthur Godfrey/Lonesome Rhodes thing:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arthur_Godfrey

 

 
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Comments  

 
0 # Cris 2010-04-20 04:13
OK so I admit I fall for this every time in the supermarket....buy one get one free. I buy one - even if I didn't want one, or need one, because I can get one FREE. I SAVE all kinds of money by doing that! lol
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0 # Pat Fortunato 2010-04-20 16:03
Cris: I have a large package of English Muffins in the fridge that prove your point. Well, the first one was okay, but the muffins in the second one are stale before we eat them. But hey, they were FREE.
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0 # Elf 2010-04-20 14:09
Business fairs are the worst. I have a rubber device from New Milford Bank that I've never figured out how to use. It fits around a drink allegedly to keep it cool, then you hang the drink somewhere -- a bike, a backpack? Still a mystery.
It was free, it looks like a practical invention, I've never used it. Not once. Been about 15 years since I got it. Still on the shelf, still taking up space.
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0 # Pat Fortunato 2010-04-21 14:38
Hi, Elf: I think that the only good free things at business fairs are pens, plus the books at publishing conventions. Although mostly the pens don't work, and it isn't a book you would remotely consider buying. And it too, sits on the shelf, taking up space.
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0 # Gary Poole 2010-04-21 09:02
When you buy one, get one free, you are actually getting each item at half price. So it isn't free. It's just cheaper. Godfrey was right, though. If it's free, I take. Even if I don't need it. How about those samples at Costco?
You can have lunch there! Sam's Club has sadly cut back on those. Still my eyes roam for those ladies wearing hairnets all over the store. Yum! (I'm still talking about the food.)
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0 # Pat Fortunato 2010-04-21 14:41
I love food samples because I'm a card-carrying grazer: eating a little very often. Favorites are cheese and chocolate, not necessarily in that order. I'm not crazy about the ladies in hairnets: I thought I lost them in the school cafeteria.
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0 # One of The Guys 2010-04-22 04:48
This post speaks to me. I love deals. Getting something for free is great, but what I've learned is everything comes at a price. And if something is too good to be true, it usually is. And then there's that damn thing called a conscience... and let's not forget karma.

I would prefer to get a great deal rather than something for free. Some type of exchange means I don't "owe" the person anything. Business transactions are the best. That's why I love Yard Sales!! Bartering is also way cool!
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0 # Pat Fortunato 2010-04-22 05:22
Dear One Of: I totally agree: I look for a deal, not for freebies. It's just that when something free is offered, it's hard to refuse. Although it usually ends up as refuse, that is, garbage.
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0 # lisleman 2010-04-22 07:08
enjoyed your story
seems there was a couple showing up at the White House awhile back for some free press. I'm glad to forget about them.
Regarding pricing, I'll never forget a marketing manager telling us that people are attracted to higher priced items and too low of a price could backfire. There's some truth to that but it depends on the item and the people.
One more thing - studies especially marketing related ones are terrible for their lack of explaining the method used and the error margin.
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REVIEWS TO PERUSE

I'm All Right, Jack:
"Jack" is not just all right, it's totally delightful and fresh as a daisy after all these years (made in 1959), with Sellers, although not technically the lead, giving the brilliant performance that launched him as an international star. He plays an all-too-zealous union leader and father of a blonde bombshell who falls for Stanley, the British Upper Class Twit played, also to perfection, by Ian Carmichael, who you might remember from the Lord Peter Wimsey series. The makeout scenes between the the Twit and the Bombshell are priceless. But what is Stanley doing in this working class atmosphere anyway? Working. And too well at that. Forced by financial circumstances too dreary to discuss, he gets a job in his uncle's factory and messes things up for the other workers by, well, working, and thus making his fellow employees look bad. The film takes a big shot at unions — but also at management: they are manipulating white-collar thieves who'll do anything for a buck. Or a pound. Except for the ones, like Major Hitchcock, played by Terry Thomas, who are just plain lazy and inept. Needless to say, Stanley foils everybody's plans, labor and management alike, to my great joy and delight. Oh, and on top of everything else, Margaret Rutherford plays dotty dowager Aunt Dolly. Delicious!

 The Big Lebowski:
What can you say that hasn't been said before: brilliant, inspired, with some of the most memorable lines ever to come out of a movie, the most quoted being "The Dude abides." Oh yes. For anyone who hasn't yet seen the film, and it's now out in a special Blu-Ray edition if that floats your bowling ball. The Dude in question,  played to perfection by Jeff Bridges, is an out-of-work pothead who is roughed up and has his rug destroyed by some thugs mistaking him for another, bigger, Lebowski. The Dude is really upset about this because, man, "that rug really tied the room together," which The Dude says with all seriousness and not a trace of irony, a great comic touch considering the condition his condition is in.  Oh, and besides "Just Dropped In," all the music is perfect for the film. The plot, according to Wikipedia, which has been known to be wrong, is "loosely based on Raymond chandler's novel, The Big Sleep." Could be. But who cares. It involves a bowling competition, "the occasional acid flashback," a trophy wife, a group of German nihilists, a kidnapping gone awry, a mad millionaire and his lackey, in another great performance by Philip Seymour Hoffman. Actually, they're all great performances. Never a fan of John Goodman before or since, he is brilliant in this film. And so are John Turturro, overacting his little heart out, Steve Buscemi in a nerdy, needy role that makes you marvel at his star turn in Boardwalk Empire, and even the actors in the smaller parts, especially Julianne Moore and Sam Elliott. Elliott plays The Stranger (God? Everyman? The part of us that roots for the bad boy?) who elicits from Bridges the immortal words, "The Dude abides." Which prompts The Stranger to comment to the audience: "Don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I sure hope he makes the finals." We'll never know about the bowling trophy because there's never been a sequel to this 1998 film by the great Coen Brothers, and I hope there never will be. It just abides, as all great films do.

Prince of the City:
Okay, the criticisms of this movie are not totally unfounded: it's too long, and Treat Williams may have overacted a bit, although I found him so deliciously charming I couldn't care less, and there's one part concerning the Jerry Orbach character I just didn't understand. But get over it, The New Yorker, this is one powerful movie. And yes, Dog Day Afternoon it isn't, but what it? The DVD has a great special feature with Williams (I so want to call him Treat) and Sidney (what the hell: I once made a meatloaf sandwich for the man) that explains a lot about filmmaking in general and this movie in particular. Also, Sidney's views on good and evil, and how things are not so black and white as you think. I loved it.

Bad Day At Black Rock:
Recommended on TCM by Robert Osbourne as a film he originally had no interest in seeing, then loved it, and by Alex Baldwin, who pointed out the great actors in the cast, including Lee Marvin, Ernest Brognine and Dean Jagger. Well, after all that, I had to like it, right?  I did. A lot. It was a Good Day On My Couch.
Behind the Scenes Stuff: Spencer Tracey was off drinking and wouldn't commit to the film until the producers (who wanted him desperately) told him that they had Alan Ladd, at which point Tracey grabbed it.  He was perfect for the part, wearing a dark suit and tie the entire time in a western setting,  pulling it off perfectly. Other than that "fashion statement," the film makes a strong case against racism: the hatred of the Japanese during WW2. See it.

Song of The Thin Man:
I usually like these frothy, silly, suave, utter unrealistic films from the 30s and 40s, with William Powell and Myrna Loy as the couple we'd all like to be — if only we had the looks, brains, money, a huge capacity for drinking and a dog like Asta. But this one was a stinker, rather than a stinger, or maybe a sinker, because  it turned out to be the last, not to mention the least, in the series. Watch any of the others four sequels, but not this one: Even the pooch jumped the shark.

The Children's Hour:
It had its moments, and just looking at Audrey Hepburn makes life worth living, but mostly I kept thinking that the play, by Lillian Hellman, was so much better. It's about two young women runing a school for girls, who are accused by a hateful little brat of being (GASP!) lesbians. And although the closest we get in this 1961 production to using that actual term is the word "unnatural," it's enough to ruin their lives.  A young Shirley McClaine is worth seeing in this, and James Garner, and Audrey Hepburn is, well, Audrey Hepburn. The rumor of the love that dare not speak its name is totally untrue — or is it? And I'll say no more, because you should see the movie for yourself, imperfect as it may be, as is Life Itself.

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