Mon 11 Apr 2011 |
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You don't even have to blab: I can look in your eyes, your soul, or god forbid, your closet, and make a blog out of that (I Am A Closet Case). I get ideas for blogs everywhere.Walking up Third Avenue, eating at The Lyric Diner, drinking at Molly's Tavern, sitting on the 23rd Street Crosstown bus. These days, riding in a taxi provides more blog fodder than ever: they have TV screens where you can see Jimmy Fallon, endlessly, which is not only amusing but also may help you understand the concept of eternity, and useful little features on how to cut your bangs. But I also get ideas for blogs when I'm just daydreaming or wasting time, if time can ever really truly be wasted. Even looking in my date book adds to my list of Blogs To Do. Last Monday, I spent valuable time trying to decipher two notes to myself written in my agenda: "Frank" and "Go Burper," and "Voodoo Lou," scrawled on a cocktail napkin. Many head-scratching minutes later, I figured out that Frank is the guy at Restoration Hardware (why the hell didn't I write that down) who's holding the white shower curtains for me. And Go should have been followed by Burger, the name of the restaurant where my book club was meeting. I have already written a blog about not being able to read my own notes (My Life On Post-Its), so yes, Virginia, time can be truly wasted.
I Love In The PapersIt's a fab feature on New York One, where someone, usually the cute and adorable Pat Kiernan, shows you snippets from the city newspapers. Besides the serious stuff, there's always something funny or quirky . . . Lately, they've been stories about the oldest living Geisha (at 84) who survived the earthquake in Japan, the candy jar in your office that's keeping you fat, "loosies," the guys who sell single cigarettes in Times Square, Charlie Sheen at "Radio City Music Hell," and The Sleepless Elite, the 1-3 % of the population who can survive on 6 hours or less a night. Not a member of that club.
•My Night at the Pussy Cat Lounge But what, you may ask, WON'T I write about . . .The two biggies are: I feel that if I write about the first, I will instantly shrivel up and blow away, and the second, I'll get hit by a bus. I also don't write about religion I don't find that funny, or politics, because that is already covered to perfection by Jon Stewart, Bill Maher, Steven Colbert and the first few minutes of Saturday Night Live. And finally, I avoid bodily functions, just as I tend to skip any plays or movies with a name like Urinetown. In a related issue, scatology just isn't my thing. But if it's yours, you can go, so to speak, to Scat Fun for all sorts of delightful essays from around the world about something we all do, hopefully, regularly. Keep The Posts ShortNixing these subjects is no problem for me: the difficulty I face as a blogger is not finding topics, but keeping the length of the articles short. There's SO much to say, and attention spans are shrinking faster than the polar cap. A wise editor at the Times told me that I should keep the pieces to 800 words or less, the length of an editorial, and I've been trying to do that. It's not easy. I'm already up to 704 words and I haven't told you about . . . Oh, never mind, I'll save that for the next blog, the subject of which will be just about anything except Staying Young, Living Longer, The Religious Right (or Left, or Center), precious bodily fluids or solids for that matter, anything truly heartbreaking or natural disasters— except for The Jersey Shore and Pregnant in Heels, although there's nothing "natural" about either of these two. Anything you'd like me to write about? Leave a comment. Cartoon from The New Yorker Tags:
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Comments
- I'll Drink To That!
I most definitely plan to vote but it is our choic... - I'll Drink To That!
Just thought that the correlation between greatnes... - OH, SUGAR!
Don't worry, Mr. P. I never count calories and I w... - I'll Drink To That!
I'm going to vote, but not on caffeine vs. alcohol... - OH, SUGAR!
Pat, stop counting grams, etc. Portion control is ... - OH, SUGAR!
And you were eating the cottage cheese because you... - OH, SUGAR!
I see what you mean: there's 3 grams of fat in the... - OH, SUGAR!
This is in the same category of advice as A piece ... - OH, SUGAR!
Do what I do - don't wear your glasses when you ea... - It's No Yoke!
If it ever does, I'm going to document it and keep...
Bitter Patter
Friday the 13th
Came and went.
I bought a lottery ticket
And didn't win.
Reread
THE 13th FLOOR
To remind myself how lucky I am.
WENT FISHING!
Well, eating fish anyway.
And swimming, although not with the fishes in the Uncle Nunzio sense.
Back from the Caribbean.
But don't be TOO jealous:
My tan has already faded.
Besdies, before we left, I had to go through
THE ELEVEN STAGES OF PACKING
Which is not for sissies.
Just got a call from
(Gasp!) the dental hygienist.
Hasn't she read:
A DEVOUT COWARD
GOES TO THE DENTIST
Do NOT Google Santorum.
I warned you . . .
Just as I posted I WAS THE GIRL PHANTOM, I found a website called The Ghost Who Blogs about The Phantom comics:
http://falkonthewildside.blogspot.com
Writing Comics. . .
Was a small but wonderful part of my checkered career, and doing a post about it brought back a lot of great memories. If you know any other women in NYC who wrote — or are writing — comics, tell me how to get in touch with them.
I'm on a watching-old-movies kick these days.
Great way to lose yourself.
If you're lucky, you'll never be found.
REVIEWS TO PERUSE
I'm All Right, Jack:
"Jack" is not just all right, it's totally delightful and fresh as a daisy after all these years (made in 1959), with Sellers, although not technically the lead, giving the brilliant performance that launched him as an international star. He plays an all-too-zealous union leader and father of a blonde bombshell who falls for Stanley, the British Upper Class Twit played, also to perfection, by Ian Carmichael, who you might remember from the Lord Peter Wimsey series. The makeout scenes between the the Twit and the Bombshell are priceless. But what is Stanley doing in this working class atmosphere anyway? Working. And too well at that. Forced by financial circumstances too dreary to discuss, he gets a job in his uncle's factory and messes things up for the other workers by, well, working, and thus making his fellow employees look bad. The film takes a big shot at unions — but also at management: they are manipulating white-collar thieves who'll do anything for a buck. Or a pound. Except for the ones, like Major Hitchcock, played by Terry Thomas, who are just plain lazy and inept. Needless to say, Stanley foils everybody's plans, labor and management alike, to my great joy and delight. Oh, and on top of everything else, Margaret Rutherford plays dotty dowager Aunt Dolly. Delicious!
The Big Lebowski:
What can you say that hasn't been said before: brilliant, inspired, with some of the most memorable lines ever to come out of a movie, the most quoted being "The Dude abides." Oh yes. For anyone who hasn't yet seen the film, and it's now out in a special Blu-Ray edition if that floats your bowling ball. The Dude in question, played to perfection by Jeff Bridges, is an out-of-work pothead who is roughed up and has his rug destroyed by some thugs mistaking him for another, bigger, Lebowski. The Dude is really upset about this because, man, "that rug really tied the room together," which The Dude says with all seriousness and not a trace of irony, a great comic touch considering the condition his condition is in. Oh, and besides "Just Dropped In," all the music is perfect for the film. The plot, according to Wikipedia, which has been known to be wrong, is "loosely based on Raymond chandler's novel, The Big Sleep." Could be. But who cares. It involves a bowling competition, "the occasional acid flashback," a trophy wife, a group of German nihilists, a kidnapping gone awry, a mad millionaire and his lackey, in another great performance by Philip Seymour Hoffman. Actually, they're all great performances. Never a fan of John Goodman before or since, he is brilliant in this film. And so are John Turturro, overacting his little heart out, Steve Buscemi in a nerdy, needy role that makes you marvel at his star turn in Boardwalk Empire, and even the actors in the smaller parts, especially Julianne Moore and Sam Elliott. Elliott plays The Stranger (God? Everyman? The part of us that roots for the bad boy?) who elicits from Bridges the immortal words, "The Dude abides." Which prompts The Stranger to comment to the audience: "Don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I sure hope he makes the finals." We'll never know about the bowling trophy because there's never been a sequel to this 1998 film by the great Coen Brothers, and I hope there never will be. It just abides, as all great films do.
Prince of the City:
Okay, the criticisms of this movie are not totally unfounded: it's too long, and Treat Williams may have overacted a bit, although I found him so deliciously charming I couldn't care less, and there's one part concerning the Jerry Orbach character I just didn't understand. But get over it, The New Yorker, this is one powerful movie. And yes, Dog Day Afternoon it isn't, but what it? The DVD has a great special feature with Williams (I so want to call him Treat) and Sidney (what the hell: I once made a meatloaf sandwich for the man) that explains a lot about filmmaking in general and this movie in particular. Also, Sidney's views on good and evil, and how things are not so black and white as you think. I loved it.
Bad Day At Black Rock:
Recommended on TCM by Robert Osbourne as a film he originally had no interest in seeing, then loved it, and by Alex Baldwin, who pointed out the great actors in the cast, including Lee Marvin, Ernest Brognine and Dean Jagger. Well, after all that, I had to like it, right? I did. A lot. It was a Good Day On My Couch.
Behind the Scenes Stuff: Spencer Tracey was off drinking and wouldn't commit to the film until the producers (who wanted him desperately) told him that they had Alan Ladd, at which point Tracey grabbed it. He was perfect for the part, wearing a dark suit and tie the entire time in a western setting, pulling it off perfectly. Other than that "fashion statement," the film makes a strong case against racism: the hatred of the Japanese during WW2. See it.
Song of The Thin Man:
I usually like these frothy, silly, suave, utter unrealistic films from the 30s and 40s, with William Powell and Myrna Loy as the couple we'd all like to be — if only we had the looks, brains, money, a huge capacity for drinking and a dog like Asta. But this one was a stinker, rather than a stinger, or maybe a sinker, because it turned out to be the last, not to mention the least, in the series. Watch any of the others four sequels, but not this one: Even the pooch jumped the shark.
The Children's Hour:
It had its moments, and just looking at Audrey Hepburn makes life worth living, but mostly I kept thinking that the play, by Lillian Hellman, was so much better. It's about two young women runing a school for girls, who are accused by a hateful little brat of being (GASP!) lesbians. And although the closest we get in this 1961 production to using that actual term is the word "unnatural," it's enough to ruin their lives. A young Shirley McClaine is worth seeing in this, and James Garner, and Audrey Hepburn is, well, Audrey Hepburn. The rumor of the love that dare not speak its name is totally untrue — or is it? And I'll say no more, because you should see the movie for yourself, imperfect as it may be, as is Life Itself.
by martinis alone,
I like this blog:
grapesandgreens.blogspot.com
BITTER PATTER
Click on:
Welcome To My Blog
Scroll down to
PAT'S FAVORITES
for a blast
from the past.
There is practically nothing I won't blog about, and yes, emotional traumas do make for funny anecdotes, whether they're mine — or yours.
About Voodoo Lou: Has my husband turned to black magic, and if so, who could blame him? This turned out to be two separate issues: a reminder to email someone named Louis, not my husband — who, I guess, isn't going to be killing chickens any time soon, and a note to check into a story about voodoo that I saw on In The Papers: I think I'll call it Magic in Manhattan.
Sometimes, when I write a blog I'm remembering something from the past I think you'd like to know about:




Comments
Well, turnabout is fair play. Recently while dog sitting for a friend, I found myself out in the nasty,rainy March weather walking the dog. He was not happy with the conditions either, and started growling and pulling back on the leash. Of course I found myself shouting at this sweet creature "What's the problem? This was all your idea". The giggles from under the passing umbrella were proof I had managed to made someone else's day.
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