Wed

20

Jan

2010

Where is Cyndi Lauper When You Need Her?
Written by Pat Fortunato   
where_is_cl.jpgI don't want to multi task.
I don't even want to task.

I'm a girl, so I just wanna have fun.

Take doctors. Please. (Sorry about that.) Sometimes, I just want them to tell me what to do. I may not do it. In fact, I probably won't. But I want an opinion, not a bunch of options, which will necessitate yet another task in my life: doing the research. 

Oprah says that this is what we all must do with hormone replacement therapy, among other things.  And who can argue with Oprah?

But HRT: What a can of worms! According to the "experts," it could be good, it could be bad, it could be sorta good or sorta bad, or good in some ways but not in others, and good for some women but not for others, or maybe it's only good for Jackie Mason . . .  And in the final analysis, you have to figure it out for yourself.

It's like playing doctor – without benefits . . .

oprah__dr.oz.jpgNow I love Oprah — and that cute  Dr. Oz! —   as much as anyone, but "doing the research" is another task, and we've all got enough bleepin' tasks to fill two lifetimes. And did I mention that the data on HRT is totally confusing and contradictory?

First they told us that taking hormones  was the best thing since white bread. Scratch that: white bread has been discredited. Don't eat white bread. Avoid white bread like the plague. Try whole wheat. "The best thing since" — what, ice cream? That's bad for you too, but too good to discredit.

Anyway, HRT was supposed to be a Magic Bullet, a miracle drug that prevented heart attacks and strokes and would keep your skin feeling smooth and your body feeling sexy.

Then there was The Study. The one by the Women's Health Initiative, which reported all kinds of Dire Consequences. HRT increased your chances of getting heart disease and strokes, not to mention cancer, and didn't do all that much for your complexion. If you felt younger, that was all in your mind. It was a dangerous, evil drug. Invented by men. Of course, the research was only done with one type of hormone therapy, and some of the findings are disputed by some of the authorities . . .

Meanwhile, some of us were having hot flashes. They are nasty things, these flashes of hotness. First of all, they don't pass in a flash. They last a while, long enough to ruin a meeting, a date, your day. Sometimes they are short, but come and go in cycles, as if a person inside your body went beserk and started turning the heat switch on and off. Are we having fun yet?

HRT takes care of those flashes, in a flash. It also help maintain bone mass, so they won't thin out as much and you're less likely to get osteoporosis and be all hunch-backed. But there's those sneaky strokes lurking in the background.

So at present, some doctors prescribe HRT, some proscribe it; most say it's up to you.

Up to me! What do I know about this? Only what I read, which did I mention, is confusing and contradictory!

It's not just HRT. And it affects guys too.

Doctors are hesitant to give definitive advice about all sorts of things, and leave a lot of decisions to the patient. Sigh. It is not for nothing that you are called a "patient." But it's not the doctors' fault. Think of the malpractice insurance they have to pay (outrageous!) just to protect themselves from lawsuits by cranky patients like us. They have to be careful about what they say.

So now, along with all the other things we do  — and I'd like to strangle the person who invented multi-tasking! —we have the added task of making all these decisions.

cindylaupereyes.jpgI want to walk into a doctor's office with Cyndi Lauper at my side and ask for an answer, not a series of options. I'll do options on the stock market. Maybe. But first I'll ask my stockbroker. And he better have an answer. Even if it's wrong, it won't be a another goddamn task, like looking up a company's fundamentals, whatever that means, which I'll have to do at the same time I'm researching HRT: multi-tasking at its most heinous.

Can't we go back to one task at a time, to getting answers rather than questions that we have to answer ourselves? Do we always have to be multi-tasking? Or even tasking?

And more important, can't a girl have a little fun around here?

Maybe I should check with Dr. Oz . . .

 

 
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0 # LGC 2010-01-22 06:48
Pat! Get with it. Multi-tasking is out. Now you have to Power Task! Have fun.
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0 # Pat Fortunato 2010-01-22 11:00
And will my first Power Task be finding out why Cyndi is spelled Cindy in the photo? Any body else notice that?
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0 # Caroline Winston 2010-01-26 03:48
Very cute! I can definitely relate...my days start at 7A & end @ 10P. Any wonder I'm frazzled? For the past year, I've worked on the launch the East Side Housing Coalition, a new nonprofit that advocates for tenant's and co-op/condo owners' rights. The idea for the organization came the office of NYS Senator Liz Krueger's, and we've grown so fast that we need help running various committees. If you know anyone who might want to get involved, please ask them to write to me at: e.sidehousingcoal .
Since I also have to make a living, I'm looking for clients for my marketing/media company, Winston Communications. Look me up at linkedin.com.
Wishing you all the best,
Caroline Winston
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0 # Pat Fortunato 2010-01-26 03:53
Caroline! Good luck with your job search. But it sounds like you need some fun!
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REVIEWS TO PERUSE

I'm All Right, Jack:
"Jack" is not just all right, it's totally delightful and fresh as a daisy after all these years (made in 1959), with Sellers, although not technically the lead, giving the brilliant performance that launched him as an international star. He plays an all-too-zealous union leader and father of a blonde bombshell who falls for Stanley, the British Upper Class Twit played, also to perfection, by Ian Carmichael, who you might remember from the Lord Peter Wimsey series. The makeout scenes between the the Twit and the Bombshell are priceless. But what is Stanley doing in this working class atmosphere anyway? Working. And too well at that. Forced by financial circumstances too dreary to discuss, he gets a job in his uncle's factory and messes things up for the other workers by, well, working, and thus making his fellow employees look bad. The film takes a big shot at unions — but also at management: they are manipulating white-collar thieves who'll do anything for a buck. Or a pound. Except for the ones, like Major Hitchcock, played by Terry Thomas, who are just plain lazy and inept. Needless to say, Stanley foils everybody's plans, labor and management alike, to my great joy and delight. Oh, and on top of everything else, Margaret Rutherford plays dotty dowager Aunt Dolly. Delicious!

 The Big Lebowski:
What can you say that hasn't been said before: brilliant, inspired, with some of the most memorable lines ever to come out of a movie, the most quoted being "The Dude abides." Oh yes. For anyone who hasn't yet seen the film, and it's now out in a special Blu-Ray edition if that floats your bowling ball. The Dude in question,  played to perfection by Jeff Bridges, is an out-of-work pothead who is roughed up and has his rug destroyed by some thugs mistaking him for another, bigger, Lebowski. The Dude is really upset about this because, man, "that rug really tied the room together," which The Dude says with all seriousness and not a trace of irony, a great comic touch considering the condition his condition is in.  Oh, and besides "Just Dropped In," all the music is perfect for the film. The plot, according to Wikipedia, which has been known to be wrong, is "loosely based on Raymond chandler's novel, The Big Sleep." Could be. But who cares. It involves a bowling competition, "the occasional acid flashback," a trophy wife, a group of German nihilists, a kidnapping gone awry, a mad millionaire and his lackey, in another great performance by Philip Seymour Hoffman. Actually, they're all great performances. Never a fan of John Goodman before or since, he is brilliant in this film. And so are John Turturro, overacting his little heart out, Steve Buscemi in a nerdy, needy role that makes you marvel at his star turn in Boardwalk Empire, and even the actors in the smaller parts, especially Julianne Moore and Sam Elliott. Elliott plays The Stranger (God? Everyman? The part of us that roots for the bad boy?) who elicits from Bridges the immortal words, "The Dude abides." Which prompts The Stranger to comment to the audience: "Don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I sure hope he makes the finals." We'll never know about the bowling trophy because there's never been a sequel to this 1998 film by the great Coen Brothers, and I hope there never will be. It just abides, as all great films do.

Prince of the City:
Okay, the criticisms of this movie are not totally unfounded: it's too long, and Treat Williams may have overacted a bit, although I found him so deliciously charming I couldn't care less, and there's one part concerning the Jerry Orbach character I just didn't understand. But get over it, The New Yorker, this is one powerful movie. And yes, Dog Day Afternoon it isn't, but what it? The DVD has a great special feature with Williams (I so want to call him Treat) and Sidney (what the hell: I once made a meatloaf sandwich for the man) that explains a lot about filmmaking in general and this movie in particular. Also, Sidney's views on good and evil, and how things are not so black and white as you think. I loved it.

Bad Day At Black Rock:
Recommended on TCM by Robert Osbourne as a film he originally had no interest in seeing, then loved it, and by Alex Baldwin, who pointed out the great actors in the cast, including Lee Marvin, Ernest Brognine and Dean Jagger. Well, after all that, I had to like it, right?  I did. A lot. It was a Good Day On My Couch.
Behind the Scenes Stuff: Spencer Tracey was off drinking and wouldn't commit to the film until the producers (who wanted him desperately) told him that they had Alan Ladd, at which point Tracey grabbed it.  He was perfect for the part, wearing a dark suit and tie the entire time in a western setting,  pulling it off perfectly. Other than that "fashion statement," the film makes a strong case against racism: the hatred of the Japanese during WW2. See it.

Song of The Thin Man:
I usually like these frothy, silly, suave, utter unrealistic films from the 30s and 40s, with William Powell and Myrna Loy as the couple we'd all like to be — if only we had the looks, brains, money, a huge capacity for drinking and a dog like Asta. But this one was a stinker, rather than a stinger, or maybe a sinker, because  it turned out to be the last, not to mention the least, in the series. Watch any of the others four sequels, but not this one: Even the pooch jumped the shark.

The Children's Hour:
It had its moments, and just looking at Audrey Hepburn makes life worth living, but mostly I kept thinking that the play, by Lillian Hellman, was so much better. It's about two young women runing a school for girls, who are accused by a hateful little brat of being (GASP!) lesbians. And although the closest we get in this 1961 production to using that actual term is the word "unnatural," it's enough to ruin their lives.  A young Shirley McClaine is worth seeing in this, and James Garner, and Audrey Hepburn is, well, Audrey Hepburn. The rumor of the love that dare not speak its name is totally untrue — or is it? And I'll say no more, because you should see the movie for yourself, imperfect as it may be, as is Life Itself.

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