Mon 26 Jul 2010 |
|
| Yes, yes, I know. Grief has only seven stages. But this is
more complicated. Stage 1: Regret: Why am I taking this trip? ![]() Why? Because it's a cruise on the Queen Mary 2 (a dream of mine), that's why, and it leaves from Brooklyn, a cab ride away. No plane! No security lines! No being trapped in a flying sardine can with people who mess up the bathroom in unspeakable ways! It does seem pretty petty to complain about having to pack. But for me, packing is always traumatic. Stage 2: Oh come on, it can't be that hard In Mad Men last season, Betty accompanied Dan to Rome at the last minute, and arrived looking as if she had stepped out of a "beauty parlor," with a stunning outfit for every occasion. Characters in fiction tend to have little luggage and unlimited wardrobes, and spend mere minutes throwing things in a suitcase and getting on with it. True, on Sex and The City, Carrie does agonize about packing for Paris (how does a girl chose between all those Manolo Blahniks?) and ends up with a lot of luggage. But the sheer number of ultra-chic outfits she wears couldn't have fit in all the suitcases at Bloomingdales, or on the plane itself, even if the other passengers voluntarily offered to give her their spaces. Stage 3: Panic. I realize that this is The Real World, not TV or the movies, and it IS that hard . . . This calms me down because I realize I already have most of what I need. But it also sends me back to Stage 3, thinking of having to shop for rest of it. Stage 5. The shopping The first thing I get, crepe cream pants so that I won't be in black every single evening, turn out to be the last thing, because department stores are just too confusing. Then there's cosmetics and all the drug store stuff, which have lists of their own and will be gotten at the last minute. See Stages 3 and 4. Stage 6. Asking for advice People give you well-meaning but somewhat contradictory advice like: Don't bring too much - but yes, you must take that smashing red dress even though you will only wear it once. Never ask for advice. Stage 7: Taken to the cleaners I realize that whatever I bring had better be clean, so I sort out stuff to wash or send to the cleaners, and this gives me a false sense of security, of Having Gotten Something Done. But this quickly dissolves into . . . Stage 8: Whoops!I forgot about that! This is when I realize that I've forgotten something significant, like the swimming pool on board, which requires bathing suits (oh nooo), a cover up, and flip flops. Where did I put those things? Stage 9: My Life (Or At The Very Least My Apartment) is A Mess Packing forces me to face the fact that my closets are a disaster, and that to find something in the apartment will take all the detectives of Law & Order and then some. LINK (It also forces me to admit that I can't wear 90% of the cute shoes in those disorganized closets because I can't walk in them. On land, much less on sea.) Stage10:The Moment Of Truth. I have to pack because I'm leaving tomorrow, and nobody else is going to do it for me. Now I am a whirling dervish of activity, laying out everything on the bed, picking and choosing, putting the things that didn't make the cut into shopping bags to be dealt with "later," and somehow, packing it all in, literally. The case is closed, so to speak. Between now and the minute it goes out the door, there will be doubts, additions, subtractions, and substitutions. But once I'm in the taxi, it's like sitting down to take a test. You've done everything you can, now let it rip. Stage 11: Acceptance. (I did the best I could.) Leaving my building I already know, or think I know, some of the mistakes I've made. Why didn't I bring those new sandals, even though they hurt, and why did I take that extra shawl, which I end up wearing every night. But it's too late. It's a fait accompli. I've probably got too much of some things, made a few reckless choices, but will have pretty much what I need. And what I've forgotten, I'll either do without or buy on the ship. Sometimes I think it would be easier to be packing a gun instead of a suitcase, like if I were a cop or a Mafia wife or something. But
wait! These people have to pack suitcases, too. With guns in them, maybe. And
get through Security Gates. To go to places they'd rather not be in. Forgettabout it. I'm packing my red dress and taking my chances on the Mary. Whatever happens it'll be a trip. Originally published as I'm Packin' in November, 2009. P.S.The Mary was nice, and I had plenty to wear. |
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Comments
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Bitter Patter
NO LAUGHING MATTER:
Did Demi Moore overdose
on laughing gas??
That's what's being reported
to those of us at:
A DEVOUT COWARD
GOES TO THE DENTIST
Have you seen The Artist? Seeing it mentioned at
The Golden Globes reminded me that that not ALL movies are
Incredibly Loud!
Do NOT Google Santorum.
I warned you . . .
I did it!
I actually got that
LITTLE BLACK DRESS!
How hard was it?
Click on the link above.
I also got my iPhone.
It's great.
Thank you Steve Jobs
Wherever you are.
Just as I posted I WAS THE GIRL PHANTOM, I found a website called The Ghost Who Blogs about The Phantom comics:
http://falkonthewildside.blogspot.com
Writing Comics. . .
Was a small but wonderful part of my checkered career, and doing a post about it brought back a lot of great memories. If you know any other women in NYC who wrote — or are writing — comics, tell me how to get in touch with them.
I'm on a watching-old-movies kick these days.
Great way to lose yourself.
If you're lucky, you'll never be found.
REVIEWS TO PERUSE
I'm All Right, Jack:
"Jack" is not just all right, it's totally delightful and fresh as a daisy after all these years (made in 1959), with Sellers, although not technically the lead, giving the brilliant performance that launched him as an international star. He plays an all-too-zealous union leader and father of a blonde bombshell who falls for Stanley, the British Upper Class Twit played, also to perfection, by Ian Carmichael, who you might remember from the Lord Peter Wimsey series. The makeout scenes between the the Twit and the Bombshell are priceless. But what is Stanley doing in this working class atmosphere anyway? Working. And too well at that. Forced by financial circumstances too dreary to discuss, he gets a job in his uncle's factory and messes things up for the other workers by, well, working, and thus making his fellow employees look bad. The film takes a big shot at unions — but also at management: they are manipulating white-collar thieves who'll do anything for a buck. Or a pound. Except for the ones, like Major Hitchcock, played by Terry Thomas, who are just plain lazy and inept. Needless to say, Stanley foils everybody's plans, labor and management alike, to my great joy and delight. Oh, and on top of everything else, Margaret Rutherford plays dotty dowager Aunt Dolly. Delicious!
The Big Lebowski:
What can you say that hasn't been said before: brilliant, inspired, with some of the most memorable lines ever to come out of a movie, the most quoted being "The Dude abides." Oh yes. For anyone who hasn't yet seen the film, and it's now out in a special Blu-Ray edition if that floats your bowling ball. The Dude in question, played to perfection by Jeff Bridges, is an out-of-work pothead who is roughed up and has his rug destroyed by some thugs mistaking him for another, bigger, Lebowski. The Dude is really upset about this because, man, "that rug really tied the room together," which The Dude says with all seriousness and not a trace of irony, a great comic touch considering the condition his condition is in. Oh, and besides "Just Dropped In," all the music is perfect for the film. The plot, according to Wikipedia, which has been known to be wrong, is "loosely based on Raymond chandler's novel, The Big Sleep." Could be. But who cares. It involves a bowling competition, "the occasional acid flashback," a trophy wife, a group of German nihilists, a kidnapping gone awry, a mad millionaire and his lackey, in another great performance by Philip Seymour Hoffman. Actually, they're all great performances. Never a fan of John Goodman before or since, he is brilliant in this film. And so are John Turturro, overacting his little heart out, Steve Buscemi in a nerdy, needy role that makes you marvel at his star turn in Boardwalk Empire, and even the actors in the smaller parts, especially Julianne Moore and Sam Elliott. Elliott plays The Stranger (God? Everyman? The part of us that roots for the bad boy?) who elicits from Bridges the immortal words, "The Dude abides." Which prompts The Stranger to comment to the audience: "Don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I sure hope he makes the finals." We'll never know about the bowling trophy because there's never been a sequel to this 1998 film by the great Coen Brothers, and I hope there never will be. It just abides, as all great films do.
Prince of the City:
Okay, the criticisms of this movie are not totally unfounded: it's too long, and Treat Williams may have overacted a bit, although I found him so deliciously charming I couldn't care less, and there's one part concerning the Jerry Orbach character I just didn't understand. But get over it, The New Yorker, this is one powerful movie. And yes, Dog Day Afternoon it isn't, but what it? The DVD has a great special feature with Williams (I so want to call him Treat) and Sidney (what the hell: I once made a meatloaf sandwich for the man) that explains a lot about filmmaking in general and this movie in particular. Also, Sidney's views on good and evil, and how things are not so black and white as you think. I loved it.
Bad Day At Black Rock:
Recommended on TCM by Robert Osbourne as a film he originally had no interest in seeing, then loved it, and by Alex Baldwin, who pointed out the great actors in the cast, including Lee Marvin, Ernest Brognine and Dean Jagger. Well, after all that, I had to like it, right? I did. A lot. It was a Good Day On My Couch.
Behind the Scenes Stuff: Spencer Tracey was off drinking and wouldn't commit to the film until the producers (who wanted him desperately) told him that they had Alan Ladd, at which point Tracey grabbed it. He was perfect for the part, wearing a dark suit and tie the entire time in a western setting, pulling it off perfectly. Other than that "fashion statement," the film makes a strong case against racism: the hatred of the Japanese during WW2. See it.
Song of The Thin Man:
I usually like these frothy, silly, suave, utter unrealistic films from the 30s and 40s, with William Powell and Myrna Loy as the couple we'd all like to be — if only we had the looks, brains, money, a huge capacity for drinking and a dog like Asta. But this one was a stinker, rather than a stinger, or maybe a sinker, because it turned out to be the last, not to mention the least, in the series. Watch any of the others four sequels, but not this one: Even the pooch jumped the shark.
The Children's Hour:
It had its moments, and just looking at Audrey Hepburn makes life worth living, but mostly I kept thinking that the play, by Lillian Hellman, was so much better. It's about two young women runing a school for girls, who are accused by a hateful little brat of being (GASP!) lesbians. And although the closest we get in this 1961 production to using that actual term is the word "unnatural," it's enough to ruin their lives. A young Shirley McClaine is worth seeing in this, and James Garner, and Audrey Hepburn is, well, Audrey Hepburn. The rumor of the love that dare not speak its name is totally untrue — or is it? And I'll say no more, because you should see the movie for yourself, imperfect as it may be, as is Life Itself.
by martinis alone,
I like this blog:
grapesandgreens.blogspot.com
BITTER PATTER
Click on:
Welcome To My Blog
Scroll down to
PAT'S FAVORITES
for a blast
from the past.

Mafia wife or something. But
wait! These people have to pack suitcases, too. With guns in them, maybe. And
get through Security Gates. To go to places they'd rather not be in. 




Comments
Try packing like a guy. Begin with underwear. Then work your way to outer
garments (as Superman called them). When you have enough outer garments to get you through four days...stop. There are laundromats everywhere.
Underwear (Cary Grant called them his, "Smalls." Which tells you a lot about
Mr. Grant) can be washed in the sink in your room and will dry overnight.
Bring only shoes that will match your outer garments. And you're set.
Makeup, creams, etc. can go in a small bag. You're naturally beautiful so why
worry about that? Go. Enjoy yourself!
See Ciao, Baby! a previous post.
Like your aphorisms.
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