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2010

MEN IN SKIRTS: The Short Version
Written by Pat Fortunato   

kilts2.jpgRemember the post on Bravehearts: Men in Skirts, an exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum of Art?  It was kinda long: the piece, not the skirts. So now, here's a new, shorter version just in time for St. Patrick's Day.

Men wearing skirts is nothing new. Besides kilts, there have been caftans, saris, and sarongs, not to mention loincloths (think of them as the first mini-skirts).

Could this became a new fashion trend? Designers think so, because it "frees the legs," is "less restricting," and is so "fashion forward." Really? Maybe for that hot young model on the runway, but if you're looking for an actual fashion trend for actual men, don't hold your breath. It will never happen, and here's why:

Last year, I rediscovered my legs. I bought a jacket — and  a matching skirt (I think that's called A Suit). Cute, with a leather strip and flouncy thing on the bottom. This is not the first skirt I've bought in the last decade, but this time, I actually wore it.

So here's the thing. When you wear something feminine, you behave differently (think tilting of the head, tossing of the hair, crossing of the legs), you have more fun, and you want to repeat the experience. So, when you're off to meet Alex Simmons for a drink at the National Arts Club (scene of the first leg revealing episode), you reach for . . . the skirt!

Not so fast, Fortunato! It was raining. Really raining. Not a drizzle, not a light shower, but a drenching downpour, and a girl could get her legs wet and ruin her shoes. With a skirt, you have to pay attention to these things. They show.

And so, with a heavy heart — alas, no longer brave —I abandoned all hope of flounciness and reached for Old Reliable, the black pants suit and black waterproof boots. And I remembered why I had stopped wearing skirts in the first place . . .                                 Go to Read More


dreamstime_3469493.jpg

It's too damn complicated.

It can be cold. It can be wet. It can be . . . drafty!

Plus, you have to consider your legs: Are they shaved? Bruised? Do you have stockings that go with the skirt? And OMG, what about the shoes? If they can be worn with tights, you don't have the shaved, bruised thing to worry about, but tights can be, well, tight. If the shoes show your toes, you need a pedicure.

This "frees the legs?" This is "less restricting?"

Men in skirts? I think not. No matter how many examples they showed at that exhibit at the Met.

Men are the ones who say, "But you already have a pair of black shoes." When men ask what to wear, they really mean, "Do I HAVE to wear a jacket?" Fashion forward? Sure, right. They fight getting a new pair of shoes until the old ones die, then buy the same shoes in the same color.

Men want it to be easy, comfortable, and brainless. And maybe they're right.

Because guess what: I had a wonderful evening. Wearing pants. Okay, so maybe it was the two martinis, where one is my Absolut limit. Maybe it was because Alex and I were talking about James Bond (in the midst of a group of women from the Feminists of America) — and decided that if anyone wanted to make something out of it, we could take them. Hey, I said I was wearing the pants, didn't I? Alex, being a guy, was also wearing pants.

Men in skirts? HA! I say. HA.

And yet. I'm not ready to donate that skirt to the thrift shop. No way. There's a clear night in my future, and I'll be ready to flounce again. Meanwhile, flounceless but happy, life goes on.

And oh yes, just in case you thought that men in skirts might be less prone to violence, and that it would help them embrace their feminine sides and not be so eager to start wars and stuff, forget it. Think: the movie, Braveheart. The Praetorian Guard. Africans warriors. Cavemen . . .

You can take the boy out the pants, but you can't take the, oh you get the drift. Or the draft. By the way, most of the women at the Men In Skirts Exhibit were wearing pants. And so were all of the men.

Happy St Pat's, guys!

 

See: Men In Skirts the longer (maxi) version.

 

 

 

 

 
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Comments  

 
0 # Mimi Kidd 2010-03-15 06:41
Pat, You have it backwards.... I wear skirts when IT IS RAINING. Bare legs dry easily and I don't have saggy wet pant legs I have to sit in, get more wrinkled when sitting plus the wool will smell from all the dry cleaning fluid! As for shoes, I wear comfortable old shoes that I don't care if they get wet and put my good, sexy HIGH heels in my carry bag and change at my destination. Upon arrival it takes two minutes to dry my legs (old dish towel in carry bag) and change my shoes. I feel bright cheery and sexy and ready to impress.

Give it a try!!
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0 # Pat Fortunato 2010-03-15 09:41
Well, Mimi, it won't be the first time I've got something backwards! But bare legs in the rain? Only if it's warm. On the other hand, I will try carrying the shoes. I'll try anything once . . .
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0 # lisleman 2010-03-16 12:02
you are right - it will only happen to a few at special occasions like a war between Scotland and England.
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0 # Pat Fortunato 2010-03-16 12:44
See? Guys! War! Skirts wouldn't change anything.
Still, the guys look cute in those kilts . . .
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0 # Gary Poole 2010-03-16 12:29
Once I saw a guy wearing just a raincoat. But why get upset over a little
thing like that.
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0 # Pat Fortunato 2010-03-16 12:45
So? Did he have good legs?
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0 # Gary Poole 2010-03-24 09:46
Not as good as mine.
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0 # bluzdude 2010-03-17 12:29
I don't know about skirts/kilts, but I hate that long "shorts" are the style. Around here, shorts are so long, they're not really even shorts... more like pants that were hemmed a bit too high.

I always say, if your legs look as good as mine do, it's a cryin' shame to cover them up.
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0 # Pat Fortunato 2010-03-17 13:35
Oh, you're so right. And those long bathing suits. What's that about? Okay, so Speedos were a bit much, but down to the knees? They make even good legs, which I'm sure you have, look stubby. Guys, get wise. Short shorts work.
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0 # One of The Guys 2010-03-27 04:22
I'm sorry, men should never wear skirts or dresses or anything without legs on them.
Women are held to a different standard and it's not fair. But damn you all look so good in skirts. Sorry, but it's true.
But a nice pair of jeans, pants whatever does the trick too.
In fact you could just be wearing baggie sweat pants and we could find something to look at.
Like you said, we're simple creatures. Hope you're having a good weekend.
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0 # strikemaster 2010-06-19 10:36
Of course, just because we sholuld overheat our testicles. The doctors should have a lot of work with our health problems. Have You ever seen pic of Ancient Greek soldier? Did he wear trousers? No, skirts are original men's garment taken by women in 19th century (I mean skirts, not dresses, dress was unisex). Do You know that firts trousers appeared in Europe as a ...clothes for women?
I guess no. It seems You know nothing about anatomy and history and You're against our men's rights. It's sad.
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0 # Pat Fortunato 2010-06-19 17:15
Please don't get overheated!
I've never been accused of being against men's rights before.
I thought I was writing a humorous post about some of the problems women have in today's society. Men can wear whatever they want!
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0 # David 2010-04-01 13:07
One of The Guys -- you have an abnormal brain!!! Skirts DO NOT change the status of a man. Men CAN wear them and STILL be men. Have you ever heard of KILTS??!! I wear them and act manly!!!
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0 # Pat Fortunato 2010-04-01 13:30
Well, David, how do you REALLY feel?
I thought I had made it very clear what I thought, abnormal brain and all: that wearing skirts, kilts, or whatever, does not change the way men act. It's just that manly is good; warlike not so much.
Anyway, I'm taking your comment to mean that I have an unique way of looking at things . . . So thanks.
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0 # Angela I. 2010-04-03 13:44
Men in skirts will be cool and sexy!, Great post!
Angela I.
http://Groovybabyblog.blogspot.com
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0 # Pat Fortunato 2010-04-04 09:08
Yes, they'd be cool, or at the very least, chilly. But it won't happen any time sound.
Anyway, thanks for your comment.
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0 # strikemaster 2010-06-13 10:39
Why do You think it won't happen. Skirt is very comfortable, healthy and TRADITIONAL male's garment, so it will happen. I know girls look great in skirts, men probably not, but it's not good reason to suffer from trousers. Also notice, skirt can be as easy to use as trousers. It's a fact, men won't shave legs nor wear high heels, don't want to spend hours before mirror, but why do You think that it's necessary? Men should wear skirts instead trousers especially when sitting at the desk, in summer, driving a car.
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0 # Pat 2010-06-13 13:16
I don't know, Strikemaster, but I don't think it will catch on in the USA. Men associate skirts with women: in fact, an American slang term for a woman used to be "a skirt."
Personally, I hate the drafts . . .
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0 # strikemaster 2010-06-19 10:28
People associates...it's just a lack of knowledge. I know the skirt means a girl, so call all the men's skirts kilts and one of the problems is solved.
Other problems will disappear if people have known the reasons why men should wear skirted garment.
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0 # Pat Fortunato 2010-06-19 17:19
Call them kilts or anything you want, but American men won't wear skirts. Men in other parts of the world can wear anything they want.
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Prince of the City:
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Bad Day At Black Rock:
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The Children's Hour:
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