Mon 08 Nov 2010 |
|
My friends are worried about me. They think I've gone over the edge because of the current stress in my life. Well, stress does do strange things to a person.
You hit the wrong number on your speed dial and insist on talking to the person you thought you had called (Is this the party to whom I am speaking — or what?), you try to make a call with the remote, or change the channel with your phone. Wait a minute. I do those things all the time. Stressed or not. What's got my readers' knickers in a knot is that in my last post I talked about a current event at Bonwit Teller, a store that has been out of business for two decades. Whoops. On the bright side, it's a good thing the store is defunct because I mentioned a bedbug sighting there and they could have sued me for defamation of character or something. For the record, the nasty little creatures were actually spotted at Bergdorf Goodmans. Uh-oh. Shouldn't have mentioned that. Do I need a lawyer now? Talk about stress.
Country house? Sun? He seemed puzzled. Mimi and all the other fine young bohemians in this opera live in a garret. In poverty. The third act takes place in the snow. Yes, yes, I insisted. The country house. That aria about Provence and . . . wait a minute. That's Violetta's house. The rich courtesan. Who's in an entirely different opera. La Traviata, if you want to get all specific about it. Today I sent an email with the message repeated the message repeated. Who knows what I'll do tonight. My friend Diana says I'm not safe walking around in this condition. Apparently, I'm not safe sitting here at my computer either . . . STRESS. I always thought it would be a great name for a rock group. Maybe it is. According to that Font of All Knowledge, Wikipedia, symptoms of stress include: a state of alarm and adrenaline production, short-term resistance as a coping mechanism, and exhaustion, as well as irritability, muscular tension, inability to concentrate, headache and elevated heart rate. I have something to add: a loss of power.
Ah, but that day was different. It was cold and raining, so cabs were scarce. But the real reason I couldn't get a cab was that I was stressed.
Undaunted, I stood on the corner of 23rd and 2nd and reminded myself that yes, I do have Kab Karma, and yes, I would get a cab. I WOULD get a cab! Then I realized that I was telling myself this out loud, and people were moving away from me in an ever-expanding circle, avoiding eye contact at all cost. Embarassed, I ran to the other side of the street where I saw a cab that was either picking up or discharging a passenger. Being me, with some of my Kab Karma, if not my mind, still intact, the person was getting out and I got in. This eased my stress a whole lot, although it did nothing for my tennis game. Of course, I have always been what is charitably referred to as absent minded and have been known to hop into a cab for a business meeting having no idea who I was meeting with, much less why or where. Cabby! Take me to . . . wherever. And step on it! That was before the age of technology when I didn't have a cell phone to call my office and figure it out. But now I have whole new worlds to confuse, confound, and add to my stress levels. Today, I think I may have accidentally befriended everyone in the world on Facebook. Meanwhile, I forget where I file people's names in my address book: was it under their first name, last name — or something else: like L for Lillie A for Aunt Lillie or D for Dambinsky because that's her name (really). It's all very logical, in a ditsy sort of way, but under stress I tend to forget my own system and get very agitated. Hell. You call it Bergdorfs, I call it Bonwits. Let's call the whole thing off. But before we do that . . . I need you to reassure me that I'm not the only one experiencing these "brain melts" — ironically also known as "brain freezes." It'll be a kind of free internet group therapy. Saks is getting awfully expensive. |
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Comments
- I'll Drink To That!
I most definitely plan to vote but it is our choic... - I'll Drink To That!
Just thought that the correlation between greatnes... - OH, SUGAR!
Don't worry, Mr. P. I never count calories and I w... - I'll Drink To That!
I'm going to vote, but not on caffeine vs. alcohol... - OH, SUGAR!
Pat, stop counting grams, etc. Portion control is ... - OH, SUGAR!
And you were eating the cottage cheese because you... - OH, SUGAR!
I see what you mean: there's 3 grams of fat in the... - OH, SUGAR!
This is in the same category of advice as A piece ... - OH, SUGAR!
Do what I do - don't wear your glasses when you ea... - It's No Yoke!
If it ever does, I'm going to document it and keep...
Bitter Patter
Friday the 13th
Came and went.
I bought a lottery ticket
And didn't win.
Reread
THE 13th FLOOR
To remind myself how lucky I am.
WENT FISHING!
Well, eating fish anyway.
And swimming, although not with the fishes in the Uncle Nunzio sense.
Back from the Caribbean.
But don't be TOO jealous:
My tan has already faded.
Besdies, before we left, I had to go through
THE ELEVEN STAGES OF PACKING
Which is not for sissies.
Just got a call from
(Gasp!) the dental hygienist.
Hasn't she read:
A DEVOUT COWARD
GOES TO THE DENTIST
Do NOT Google Santorum.
I warned you . . .
Just as I posted I WAS THE GIRL PHANTOM, I found a website called The Ghost Who Blogs about The Phantom comics:
http://falkonthewildside.blogspot.com
Writing Comics. . .
Was a small but wonderful part of my checkered career, and doing a post about it brought back a lot of great memories. If you know any other women in NYC who wrote — or are writing — comics, tell me how to get in touch with them.
I'm on a watching-old-movies kick these days.
Great way to lose yourself.
If you're lucky, you'll never be found.
REVIEWS TO PERUSE
I'm All Right, Jack:
"Jack" is not just all right, it's totally delightful and fresh as a daisy after all these years (made in 1959), with Sellers, although not technically the lead, giving the brilliant performance that launched him as an international star. He plays an all-too-zealous union leader and father of a blonde bombshell who falls for Stanley, the British Upper Class Twit played, also to perfection, by Ian Carmichael, who you might remember from the Lord Peter Wimsey series. The makeout scenes between the the Twit and the Bombshell are priceless. But what is Stanley doing in this working class atmosphere anyway? Working. And too well at that. Forced by financial circumstances too dreary to discuss, he gets a job in his uncle's factory and messes things up for the other workers by, well, working, and thus making his fellow employees look bad. The film takes a big shot at unions — but also at management: they are manipulating white-collar thieves who'll do anything for a buck. Or a pound. Except for the ones, like Major Hitchcock, played by Terry Thomas, who are just plain lazy and inept. Needless to say, Stanley foils everybody's plans, labor and management alike, to my great joy and delight. Oh, and on top of everything else, Margaret Rutherford plays dotty dowager Aunt Dolly. Delicious!
The Big Lebowski:
What can you say that hasn't been said before: brilliant, inspired, with some of the most memorable lines ever to come out of a movie, the most quoted being "The Dude abides." Oh yes. For anyone who hasn't yet seen the film, and it's now out in a special Blu-Ray edition if that floats your bowling ball. The Dude in question, played to perfection by Jeff Bridges, is an out-of-work pothead who is roughed up and has his rug destroyed by some thugs mistaking him for another, bigger, Lebowski. The Dude is really upset about this because, man, "that rug really tied the room together," which The Dude says with all seriousness and not a trace of irony, a great comic touch considering the condition his condition is in. Oh, and besides "Just Dropped In," all the music is perfect for the film. The plot, according to Wikipedia, which has been known to be wrong, is "loosely based on Raymond chandler's novel, The Big Sleep." Could be. But who cares. It involves a bowling competition, "the occasional acid flashback," a trophy wife, a group of German nihilists, a kidnapping gone awry, a mad millionaire and his lackey, in another great performance by Philip Seymour Hoffman. Actually, they're all great performances. Never a fan of John Goodman before or since, he is brilliant in this film. And so are John Turturro, overacting his little heart out, Steve Buscemi in a nerdy, needy role that makes you marvel at his star turn in Boardwalk Empire, and even the actors in the smaller parts, especially Julianne Moore and Sam Elliott. Elliott plays The Stranger (God? Everyman? The part of us that roots for the bad boy?) who elicits from Bridges the immortal words, "The Dude abides." Which prompts The Stranger to comment to the audience: "Don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I sure hope he makes the finals." We'll never know about the bowling trophy because there's never been a sequel to this 1998 film by the great Coen Brothers, and I hope there never will be. It just abides, as all great films do.
Prince of the City:
Okay, the criticisms of this movie are not totally unfounded: it's too long, and Treat Williams may have overacted a bit, although I found him so deliciously charming I couldn't care less, and there's one part concerning the Jerry Orbach character I just didn't understand. But get over it, The New Yorker, this is one powerful movie. And yes, Dog Day Afternoon it isn't, but what it? The DVD has a great special feature with Williams (I so want to call him Treat) and Sidney (what the hell: I once made a meatloaf sandwich for the man) that explains a lot about filmmaking in general and this movie in particular. Also, Sidney's views on good and evil, and how things are not so black and white as you think. I loved it.
Bad Day At Black Rock:
Recommended on TCM by Robert Osbourne as a film he originally had no interest in seeing, then loved it, and by Alex Baldwin, who pointed out the great actors in the cast, including Lee Marvin, Ernest Brognine and Dean Jagger. Well, after all that, I had to like it, right? I did. A lot. It was a Good Day On My Couch.
Behind the Scenes Stuff: Spencer Tracey was off drinking and wouldn't commit to the film until the producers (who wanted him desperately) told him that they had Alan Ladd, at which point Tracey grabbed it. He was perfect for the part, wearing a dark suit and tie the entire time in a western setting, pulling it off perfectly. Other than that "fashion statement," the film makes a strong case against racism: the hatred of the Japanese during WW2. See it.
Song of The Thin Man:
I usually like these frothy, silly, suave, utter unrealistic films from the 30s and 40s, with William Powell and Myrna Loy as the couple we'd all like to be — if only we had the looks, brains, money, a huge capacity for drinking and a dog like Asta. But this one was a stinker, rather than a stinger, or maybe a sinker, because it turned out to be the last, not to mention the least, in the series. Watch any of the others four sequels, but not this one: Even the pooch jumped the shark.
The Children's Hour:
It had its moments, and just looking at Audrey Hepburn makes life worth living, but mostly I kept thinking that the play, by Lillian Hellman, was so much better. It's about two young women runing a school for girls, who are accused by a hateful little brat of being (GASP!) lesbians. And although the closest we get in this 1961 production to using that actual term is the word "unnatural," it's enough to ruin their lives. A young Shirley McClaine is worth seeing in this, and James Garner, and Audrey Hepburn is, well, Audrey Hepburn. The rumor of the love that dare not speak its name is totally untrue — or is it? And I'll say no more, because you should see the movie for yourself, imperfect as it may be, as is Life Itself.
by martinis alone,
I like this blog:
grapesandgreens.blogspot.com
BITTER PATTER
Click on:
Welcome To My Blog
Scroll down to
PAT'S FAVORITES
for a blast
from the past.
And then there was the scene at the opera last week (Get it? Opera? Scene? Never mind.) After the second act of La Boheme —you know, the Met's version of "Rent" — I told my husband that I was really looking forward to the next act, the sunny one at the heroine's beautiful country house.
I was trying to get to my tennis game on time last week and I needed a cab. No problem. Not for me, the woman with Kab Karma. It's practically infallible. Cabs make U-turns to pick me up. I get cabs in the middle of snowstorms. On dark and deserted streets. When everyone else has given up and taken the subway.
Superheroes everywhere take note, and that means you — Super Mom, Super Dad, Super Multitasker — your powers are diminished when your mind is not clear.




Comments
Had one of those telephone situations just last week when I pressed my cell phone contact button to call my friend, John. I prattled on with my question for 5 minutes before I realized I did not recognize the voice on the other end. Turns out I had called a friend of my daughter who's name is John, he had no idea who I was, but answered my obscure question about US Veteran's benefits without hesitation. Go figure. Of course, less than a nano second after we finished our polite goodbyes my daughter texted me expressing the humiliation I caused her with my phone-faus pax.
Ah, the speed of technology.
Just don't call it a Senior Moment!!!
This would be funny if it weren't so true.
Wait a minute ... It is FUNNY, and it is true!!!
Never mind. I must be stressed.
:0)
Can we meet for a drink?
NOW?
Well,my dear,we just have to fix this! While all this ridiculous stress takes us away from ourselves,we must learn how to delegate and do less...Easier said than done.....right?!
At least I know we are sharing our dementia...and I know it is temporary!!
Believe me, I am the world's best delegater, but there are situations where you have to do a lot yourself, as you well know, and I'm in one of them: with Mom in a neck brace and Dad, pushing 100, trying to "pep her up." Then there are the rehabs, the CatScans, the doctors, the aides, the meds, the wheelchairs and walkers, the hospital bed, and oh, you know.
And you're right: the worst thing about all this is losing our (super)powers.
Maybe if I keep repeating "Shazam!" or something . . .
Unfortunately, the only tune that comes to mind is "Fly Me To The Moon," not exactly material for my rock band.
But the Wherever thing is a good idea, kind of like the Monty Python skit about the Race For People With No Sense Of Direction, where they all just wandered about.
By the way, I haven't wandered around the web much lately, due to current conditions, so I haven't visited your delightful site recently. In your email, you mentioned giving thanks for the ability to complain.
Have to check that out.
http://afcsoac.blogspot.com/
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