The Devil's In The DAEMONS
Written by Pat Fortunato   
Tuesday, 26 April 2011 10:18

CartoonDaemonProblems with Emails?
You are not alone.

You are not a

We all have our personal demons, but if you send out a lot of emails on AOL, you also get DAEMONS.

This is very annoying.

First of all I don't know how to pronounce the word, and when I'm yelling WTF at something, I like to know how the devil to say it. Is it DEE-mon, as I thought, or DAY-mon, as pronounced by those with more technical knowledge than I. That includes most of the civilized world, and anyone, anywhere, under 30, but that's another story.

I Hate Daemons

However you say it, a Mailer-Daemon simply mean that your Email didn't go through. But these notices contain very menacing phrases like "fatal errors," and "rejected due to security policy." What! Is my blog a threat to national security or something? I think not. Sometimes, the mailboxes are simply full. Annoying, yes, but not . . . fatal.

MAILER-DAEMONS (Don't they know that using ALL CAPS is like shouting?) are not my only problem. There are some very confusing things going on with email.

For instance, what do you do when you get an email with this subject:
"Don't open the email from me."

Huh?

It turned out that this was referring to a previous email, but how are you supposed to know? I opened it with great trepidation. What if it had a virus, or a bad cold even.

I think you're okay if you don't open the attachment, but I'm not sure. In some unexplored part of my brain, I'm still afraid that I'll blow up my computer, or cause another power outage on the entire East Coast if I hit the wrong key.

I frequently hit the wrong key, sending off emails that I'm not finished writing, or sending them to the wrong recipient (this can be a real problem). I also keep getting a pop-up for Microsoft Office Help that I didn't ask for and have no idea what to do with.

And another thing . . .

Why are people always changing their email addresses?

Okay, so they're sick of AOL, or they're graduated from college so they can no longer use harvardedu.org, which, according to The Social Network, is the most prestigious email address in the universe, or maybe they think hotmail sounds, well, hotter than gmail. Whatever the reason, I often forget to make the change, and wonder why I got a DAEMON, or why my so-called friend is not answering my email.

I send out Email blasts about new posts, and no one, repeat, NO ONE has been able to tell me the number of recipients you can have on one email, the number of emails you can send out at one time — or within an hour or during the course of the day — without having your message relegated to SPAM, a Fate Worse Than DAEMONS.

If anyone out there has the answer, please tell me, but I don't think that AOL knows itself. So I send the Emails, hope for the best, and know that at least some are getting through because you make comments.

But there's hope! As you may know, Emails are becoming obsolete. (Forget phone calls, they've been over for ages. As one woman said, when the phone rings, I know it's my mother: nobody else ever calls.)

Now what we do is text and tweet, so all these archaic problems with Emails will soon be over. For one thing, cell phone numbers seem to stay the same if you change phones or even carriers. Yes!

AngryWomanOnCellOn the other hand, when I'm fully operational in this Brave New World, I'll probably be confused in new and exciting ways, sending texts to people I shouldn't have by mistake, and being constantly interrupted when I'm trying to be off radar.

And a question: Will there be chain letters on texts — and will we be cursed forever if we ignore them?

Worst of all, we're finding out, as we speak — literally — that I-Phones and Droids are tracking our every move: What the devil is that about?

Oh well. Technology does march on, doesn't it, and we want to keep up lest we be left in the dust of history, scorned by The Young and The Technically Fearless. But don't you sometimes feel like chucking it all in and joining the nearest branch of LALA,  Luddites Anonymous, Doubled.

It's a devil of a dilemma. Or maybe it's a just a DAEMON. . .

For more on fun with technology, go to Please Stay Tuned

 

 

 
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Comments  

 
0 # LC 2011-04-26 12:13
The problem with emails is that's there's too many of them!
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0 # Pat Fortunato 2011-04-27 09:01
Except, of course, the ones you get from me directing you to the blog.
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0 # LC 2011-04-27 09:27
Of course.
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0 # Diana 2011-04-27 11:05
Bah Humbug! Why do we have to communicate at all. Much to much chatter, not enough ruminating.
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0 # Pat Fortunato 2011-04-27 11:47
As that great philosopher, Fred the (Divorce) Lawyer said, "The trouble with relationships is communication. There's too much of it!"
Amen.
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Bitter Patter

Friday the 13th 
Came and went.

I bought a lottery ticket 
And didn't win.  

Reread
 
THE 13th FLOOR
To remind myself how lucky I am.

WENT FISHING!

Well, eating fish anyway.
And swimming, although not with the fishes in the Uncle Nunzio sense.

Back from the Caribbean. 
But don't be TOO jealous:

My tan has already faded. 
Besdies, before we left, I had to go through 

THE ELEVEN STAGES OF PACKING
Which is not for sissies.

Just got a call from 
(Gasp!) the dental hygienist. 
Hasn't she read:

A DEVOUT COWARD 
GOES TO THE DENTIST

Do NOT Google Santorum.
I warned you . . .

 Just as I posted I WAS THE GIRL PHANTOM, I found a website called The Ghost Who Blogs about The Phantom comics:

http://falkonthewildside.blogspot.com

Writing Comics. . .
Was a small but wonderful part of my checkered career, and doing a post about it  brought back a lot of great memories. If you know any other women in NYC who wrote — or are writing — comics, tell me how to get in touch with them. 

I'm on a watching-old-movies kick these days.
Great way to lose yourself.
If you're lucky, you'll never be found. 

REVIEWS TO PERUSE

I'm All Right, Jack:
"Jack" is not just all right, it's totally delightful and fresh as a daisy after all these years (made in 1959), with Sellers, although not technically the lead, giving the brilliant performance that launched him as an international star. He plays an all-too-zealous union leader and father of a blonde bombshell who falls for Stanley, the British Upper Class Twit played, also to perfection, by Ian Carmichael, who you might remember from the Lord Peter Wimsey series. The makeout scenes between the the Twit and the Bombshell are priceless. But what is Stanley doing in this working class atmosphere anyway? Working. And too well at that. Forced by financial circumstances too dreary to discuss, he gets a job in his uncle's factory and messes things up for the other workers by, well, working, and thus making his fellow employees look bad. The film takes a big shot at unions — but also at management: they are manipulating white-collar thieves who'll do anything for a buck. Or a pound. Except for the ones, like Major Hitchcock, played by Terry Thomas, who are just plain lazy and inept. Needless to say, Stanley foils everybody's plans, labor and management alike, to my great joy and delight. Oh, and on top of everything else, Margaret Rutherford plays dotty dowager Aunt Dolly. Delicious!

 The Big Lebowski:
What can you say that hasn't been said before: brilliant, inspired, with some of the most memorable lines ever to come out of a movie, the most quoted being "The Dude abides." Oh yes. For anyone who hasn't yet seen the film, and it's now out in a special Blu-Ray edition if that floats your bowling ball. The Dude in question,  played to perfection by Jeff Bridges, is an out-of-work pothead who is roughed up and has his rug destroyed by some thugs mistaking him for another, bigger, Lebowski. The Dude is really upset about this because, man, "that rug really tied the room together," which The Dude says with all seriousness and not a trace of irony, a great comic touch considering the condition his condition is in.  Oh, and besides "Just Dropped In," all the music is perfect for the film. The plot, according to Wikipedia, which has been known to be wrong, is "loosely based on Raymond chandler's novel, The Big Sleep." Could be. But who cares. It involves a bowling competition, "the occasional acid flashback," a trophy wife, a group of German nihilists, a kidnapping gone awry, a mad millionaire and his lackey, in another great performance by Philip Seymour Hoffman. Actually, they're all great performances. Never a fan of John Goodman before or since, he is brilliant in this film. And so are John Turturro, overacting his little heart out, Steve Buscemi in a nerdy, needy role that makes you marvel at his star turn in Boardwalk Empire, and even the actors in the smaller parts, especially Julianne Moore and Sam Elliott. Elliott plays The Stranger (God? Everyman? The part of us that roots for the bad boy?) who elicits from Bridges the immortal words, "The Dude abides." Which prompts The Stranger to comment to the audience: "Don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I sure hope he makes the finals." We'll never know about the bowling trophy because there's never been a sequel to this 1998 film by the great Coen Brothers, and I hope there never will be. It just abides, as all great films do.

Prince of the City:
Okay, the criticisms of this movie are not totally unfounded: it's too long, and Treat Williams may have overacted a bit, although I found him so deliciously charming I couldn't care less, and there's one part concerning the Jerry Orbach character I just didn't understand. But get over it, The New Yorker, this is one powerful movie. And yes, Dog Day Afternoon it isn't, but what it? The DVD has a great special feature with Williams (I so want to call him Treat) and Sidney (what the hell: I once made a meatloaf sandwich for the man) that explains a lot about filmmaking in general and this movie in particular. Also, Sidney's views on good and evil, and how things are not so black and white as you think. I loved it.

Bad Day At Black Rock:
Recommended on TCM by Robert Osbourne as a film he originally had no interest in seeing, then loved it, and by Alex Baldwin, who pointed out the great actors in the cast, including Lee Marvin, Ernest Brognine and Dean Jagger. Well, after all that, I had to like it, right?  I did. A lot. It was a Good Day On My Couch.
Behind the Scenes Stuff: Spencer Tracey was off drinking and wouldn't commit to the film until the producers (who wanted him desperately) told him that they had Alan Ladd, at which point Tracey grabbed it.  He was perfect for the part, wearing a dark suit and tie the entire time in a western setting,  pulling it off perfectly. Other than that "fashion statement," the film makes a strong case against racism: the hatred of the Japanese during WW2. See it.

Song of The Thin Man:
I usually like these frothy, silly, suave, utter unrealistic films from the 30s and 40s, with William Powell and Myrna Loy as the couple we'd all like to be — if only we had the looks, brains, money, a huge capacity for drinking and a dog like Asta. But this one was a stinker, rather than a stinger, or maybe a sinker, because  it turned out to be the last, not to mention the least, in the series. Watch any of the others four sequels, but not this one: Even the pooch jumped the shark.

The Children's Hour:
It had its moments, and just looking at Audrey Hepburn makes life worth living, but mostly I kept thinking that the play, by Lillian Hellman, was so much better. It's about two young women runing a school for girls, who are accused by a hateful little brat of being (GASP!) lesbians. And although the closest we get in this 1961 production to using that actual term is the word "unnatural," it's enough to ruin their lives.  A young Shirley McClaine is worth seeing in this, and James Garner, and Audrey Hepburn is, well, Audrey Hepburn. The rumor of the love that dare not speak its name is totally untrue — or is it? And I'll say no more, because you should see the movie for yourself, imperfect as it may be, as is Life Itself.

Because when I am not blogging, I sometimes cook,
and because woman does not live
by martinis alone,
I like this blog:

grapesandgreens.blogspot.com

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