The Heart-Shaped Meatloaf
Written by Pat Fortunato   
Sunday, 13 February 2011 22:54

Don't you just hate it when you think you're being original, and then go online and find about a million references (no exaggeration) to your brilliant idea?

HeartShapedMeatloadThat's the story of "my" heart-shaped meatloaf, which I've made for years every Valentine's Day.  Beats going to dinner on a night when restaurants are booked and prices are high. Meatloaf is cheap. Tasty. Comforting.

And if they're heart-shaped, romantic in a weird sort of a way.

But apparently, not original, Not even a little. Just Google "Heart-Shaped Meatloaf" if you don't believe me.

There's even something on You Tube to the tune of "I Would Do Anything For Love" by, who else, Meatloaf. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkdKW-6ZCwU

Actually, it wasn't ever my idea. I got it from a vintage Alka Seltzer commercial in which a new bride tries to impress her husband with fancy dishes he can't resist. Or digest. Hence, the Alka Seltzer.

HearMeatloafPanBut meatloaf isn't fancy, it's just the shape of this one that is. You can actually buy a heart-shaped pan to do it. Really.  I just use a round pan, and shape it by eye, with varying degrees of success. Hey, my heart's in the right place, even though the loaf sometimes looks rather . . . free-form. Kinda like an actual heart.

http://www.thisnext.com/tag/kitchen-supplies

Anyway. You can use any old recipe to make a heart-shaped meatloaf. But why would you, when I'm giving you mine:

This is the one that prompted a famous director who shall remain nameless to horde the sandwiches I made for him and the crew and to ask for the recipe; the meatloaf devoured at many an Oscar party; the one I think I made up using a recipe from a Corning Ware pan but who knows; the one I lost the recipe for and had to call a friend in California to get it back  because that woman never forgets anything; the one many have tried to imitate, but none have succeeded.

So here, in honor of Valentine's Day — and the blog's anniversary — a first: a recipe!
And my finest one, at that. Just follow these simple directions . . .

The Ultimate Meatloaf

What you need:
1 pound chopped chuck
1 slice white bread
2 slices rye bread
1 small onion, chopped finely (about 1/2 cup)
1 egg, slightly beaten
3 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon mustard
2 tablespoons chopped parsley

What you do:
Preheat the oven to 350.
Soak the bread in one cup water in a big bowl.
Meanwhile, chop the onion and the parsley; grate the cheese (or use fresh grated cheese).
Add the meat to moistened bread, and then add the egg, the Worcestershire, s & p, onion, parsley and cheese.
Mix with your hands (or a fork if you're squeamish).
Shape into a loaf, top with slivers of butter and a little oregano.

Bake for about one hour, a little more if you double the recipe, which I usually do. Add tomato sauce or (gasp!) ketchup if you want.

Secrets of success:

Don't use too much onion: a small one is enough.                     
Chop the onion very finely.
About the meat: don't get anything fancy/fat-free (chopped chuck is good)
Use a heart-shaped meat loaf pan if you must, but it's better if there's air around the loaf so it browns nicely all around.

550HeartPizzaIf you don't have time to make a meatloaf, maybe you could get your favorite Italian restaurant to deliver a heart-shaped pizza. With a side of Alka Seltzer.

WANT MORE RECIPES?
LET ME KNOW.

 
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Comments  

 
0 # Diana 2011-02-14 09:29
Chief
Thanks for reprinting the recipe. I'm the friend who misplaced my copy of the famous "The Secret of the Meatloaf Recipe". Since I already have plans for tonight, how do you think it would look as a shamrock?
Happy V Day all!
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0 # Pat Fortunato 2011-02-14 14:55
A shamrock, huh? A little more difficult to execute, and what would we decorate it with: pickles? Oh well, if it's for St Patrick's Day, no one will notice.
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0 # Elf Ahearn 2011-02-14 13:12
Yum, meatloaf...
But Pat, do you never use seasoned bread crumbs you can bring home from the store?
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0 # Pat Fortunato 2011-02-14 14:56
I use seasoned bread crumbs for fish and other things, but this meatloaf needs bread — and the rye bread is the Secret Ingredient.
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Bitter Patter

Friday the 13th 
Came and went.

I bought a lottery ticket 
And didn't win.  

Reread
 
THE 13th FLOOR
To remind myself how lucky I am.

WENT FISHING!

Well, eating fish anyway.
And swimming, although not with the fishes in the Uncle Nunzio sense.

Back from the Caribbean. 
But don't be TOO jealous:

My tan has already faded. 
Besdies, before we left, I had to go through 

THE ELEVEN STAGES OF PACKING
Which is not for sissies.

Just got a call from 
(Gasp!) the dental hygienist. 
Hasn't she read:

A DEVOUT COWARD 
GOES TO THE DENTIST

Do NOT Google Santorum.
I warned you . . .

 Just as I posted I WAS THE GIRL PHANTOM, I found a website called The Ghost Who Blogs about The Phantom comics:

http://falkonthewildside.blogspot.com

Writing Comics. . .
Was a small but wonderful part of my checkered career, and doing a post about it  brought back a lot of great memories. If you know any other women in NYC who wrote — or are writing — comics, tell me how to get in touch with them. 

I'm on a watching-old-movies kick these days.
Great way to lose yourself.
If you're lucky, you'll never be found. 

REVIEWS TO PERUSE

I'm All Right, Jack:
"Jack" is not just all right, it's totally delightful and fresh as a daisy after all these years (made in 1959), with Sellers, although not technically the lead, giving the brilliant performance that launched him as an international star. He plays an all-too-zealous union leader and father of a blonde bombshell who falls for Stanley, the British Upper Class Twit played, also to perfection, by Ian Carmichael, who you might remember from the Lord Peter Wimsey series. The makeout scenes between the the Twit and the Bombshell are priceless. But what is Stanley doing in this working class atmosphere anyway? Working. And too well at that. Forced by financial circumstances too dreary to discuss, he gets a job in his uncle's factory and messes things up for the other workers by, well, working, and thus making his fellow employees look bad. The film takes a big shot at unions — but also at management: they are manipulating white-collar thieves who'll do anything for a buck. Or a pound. Except for the ones, like Major Hitchcock, played by Terry Thomas, who are just plain lazy and inept. Needless to say, Stanley foils everybody's plans, labor and management alike, to my great joy and delight. Oh, and on top of everything else, Margaret Rutherford plays dotty dowager Aunt Dolly. Delicious!

 The Big Lebowski:
What can you say that hasn't been said before: brilliant, inspired, with some of the most memorable lines ever to come out of a movie, the most quoted being "The Dude abides." Oh yes. For anyone who hasn't yet seen the film, and it's now out in a special Blu-Ray edition if that floats your bowling ball. The Dude in question,  played to perfection by Jeff Bridges, is an out-of-work pothead who is roughed up and has his rug destroyed by some thugs mistaking him for another, bigger, Lebowski. The Dude is really upset about this because, man, "that rug really tied the room together," which The Dude says with all seriousness and not a trace of irony, a great comic touch considering the condition his condition is in.  Oh, and besides "Just Dropped In," all the music is perfect for the film. The plot, according to Wikipedia, which has been known to be wrong, is "loosely based on Raymond chandler's novel, The Big Sleep." Could be. But who cares. It involves a bowling competition, "the occasional acid flashback," a trophy wife, a group of German nihilists, a kidnapping gone awry, a mad millionaire and his lackey, in another great performance by Philip Seymour Hoffman. Actually, they're all great performances. Never a fan of John Goodman before or since, he is brilliant in this film. And so are John Turturro, overacting his little heart out, Steve Buscemi in a nerdy, needy role that makes you marvel at his star turn in Boardwalk Empire, and even the actors in the smaller parts, especially Julianne Moore and Sam Elliott. Elliott plays The Stranger (God? Everyman? The part of us that roots for the bad boy?) who elicits from Bridges the immortal words, "The Dude abides." Which prompts The Stranger to comment to the audience: "Don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I sure hope he makes the finals." We'll never know about the bowling trophy because there's never been a sequel to this 1998 film by the great Coen Brothers, and I hope there never will be. It just abides, as all great films do.

Prince of the City:
Okay, the criticisms of this movie are not totally unfounded: it's too long, and Treat Williams may have overacted a bit, although I found him so deliciously charming I couldn't care less, and there's one part concerning the Jerry Orbach character I just didn't understand. But get over it, The New Yorker, this is one powerful movie. And yes, Dog Day Afternoon it isn't, but what it? The DVD has a great special feature with Williams (I so want to call him Treat) and Sidney (what the hell: I once made a meatloaf sandwich for the man) that explains a lot about filmmaking in general and this movie in particular. Also, Sidney's views on good and evil, and how things are not so black and white as you think. I loved it.

Bad Day At Black Rock:
Recommended on TCM by Robert Osbourne as a film he originally had no interest in seeing, then loved it, and by Alex Baldwin, who pointed out the great actors in the cast, including Lee Marvin, Ernest Brognine and Dean Jagger. Well, after all that, I had to like it, right?  I did. A lot. It was a Good Day On My Couch.
Behind the Scenes Stuff: Spencer Tracey was off drinking and wouldn't commit to the film until the producers (who wanted him desperately) told him that they had Alan Ladd, at which point Tracey grabbed it.  He was perfect for the part, wearing a dark suit and tie the entire time in a western setting,  pulling it off perfectly. Other than that "fashion statement," the film makes a strong case against racism: the hatred of the Japanese during WW2. See it.

Song of The Thin Man:
I usually like these frothy, silly, suave, utter unrealistic films from the 30s and 40s, with William Powell and Myrna Loy as the couple we'd all like to be — if only we had the looks, brains, money, a huge capacity for drinking and a dog like Asta. But this one was a stinker, rather than a stinger, or maybe a sinker, because  it turned out to be the last, not to mention the least, in the series. Watch any of the others four sequels, but not this one: Even the pooch jumped the shark.

The Children's Hour:
It had its moments, and just looking at Audrey Hepburn makes life worth living, but mostly I kept thinking that the play, by Lillian Hellman, was so much better. It's about two young women runing a school for girls, who are accused by a hateful little brat of being (GASP!) lesbians. And although the closest we get in this 1961 production to using that actual term is the word "unnatural," it's enough to ruin their lives.  A young Shirley McClaine is worth seeing in this, and James Garner, and Audrey Hepburn is, well, Audrey Hepburn. The rumor of the love that dare not speak its name is totally untrue — or is it? And I'll say no more, because you should see the movie for yourself, imperfect as it may be, as is Life Itself.

Because when I am not blogging, I sometimes cook,
and because woman does not live
by martinis alone,
I like this blog:

grapesandgreens.blogspot.com

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