Absolutely Fabulous!
Written by Pat Fortunato   
Tuesday, 10 January 2012 17:06

AbFabVodka

Be afraid, be very afraid.

Those women from Absolutely Fabulous are back, and if they can't corrupt you, you're incorruptible.
No one is incorruptible.

Least of all Eddy and "Pats," AKA Patsy Stone, full name: Eurydice Collette Clytemnestra Dido Bathsheba Rabelais Patricia Cocteau Stone.

Her mother, besides being a bit of a literary poseur, was a free spirit who, immediately after giving birth to Pats in a parlor filled with like-minded souls and the aroma of opium, demanded that they take "this thing" away — and bring her another luhvah.

That little scene from an earlier episode may explain why Patsy is so selfish and amoral (ya think?) but not why she's hysterically funny.

AbFabNYCould it be her outfits? Actually, they're quite stylish, and Joanna Lumley has the former Bond Girl figure to carry them off. Edina is the one who Goes Too Far with sausage-tight tanks and argyle tops with plaid Capri's. But Patsy's big blond hair, which has a life of its own, begs the question: "What does she keep up there?"

That's easy: drugs, of course. From Bond Girl to Bong Girl? You be the judge. Personally, I think that Sarah Palin's hairdresser is a secret fan of Ab Fab fan, although I doubt that the Queen of Alaska keeps pot in her pouf. A small firearm, maybe. But that's another story.

In the new episode of Absolutely Fabulous on BBC America, Patsy gets out of a tough situation (temporarily) by pulling a stash of those funny cigarettes off the top of her head, literally.

Meanwhile, Eddy must figure out how to get rid of the problem: a very large and nasty ex-con named Baron who is demanding 50 Buckets/Gorillas/Rios/Bags of Sand (that's 50,000 pounds in English) that Pats owes her for drugs. Big Bad Baron came to Chez Eddy, a delightful townhouse in London bought from the proceeds of two ex husbands who each thought the other was paying for the house, because the still naïve Saffie had befriended Baron while in prison. Don't ask.

Fashion Victim Meets Christian Missionary

Oh, ask. Saffie is the grownup of the trio, the polar opposite of her ex-hippie, self-indulgent, Fashion Victim (with the t-shirt to prove it) mother, who once told her that she dressed like a Christian missionary, and is often called Sweetie Darling because Eddie can't remember her name. Saffie, always the defender of the downtrodden, was sent up for unwittingly supplying forged passports to poor souls in danger of being deported.

Bubble

We pick up the story as Saffie is released from prison and goes home to be feted with champagne by the aptly named Bubble, who gives new meaning to the word "absurdist," acting out a very silly recap of the Royal Wedding from the Archbishop of Candleford ("bore, bore, bore") to Pippa ("no knickers, Rear of the Year"). Saffie then gets the latest news: "There's a new disease out there called the Kardashians," and is visited by her former prison mate, who starts calling her "my little wifey." Uh oh. Even Sweetie Darling is better than that.

To get the money to pay off her debt, Patsy is dragged, literally, by Eddie into a government office where she has to give her name, which is hard enough, and her (gasp!) age, which is . . . .

Age Is Only A Number

Thirty nine? Well, not according to the computer, although the "easy peasy" loosey goosey clerk mercifully doesn't reveal it. Anyway, Patsy has never applied for her state pension, and in the way of situation comedies the world over, the accrued amount — going back many years — turns out to be "millions." She pays off Baron and stashes the rest of the dough in the toaster, where even Eddie has the sense to rescue it.

And so it goes, to not exactly coin a phrase.

SaffieThe thing about these women is that they have absolutely no socially redeeming values. They shop. And drink. And smoke. And take drugs. And shop. And drink. And smoke. And do drugs. Pats has lots of sex, often with young men with motorcycles or the husbands of friends staying at the townhouse. Eddy doesn't seem to score very much, although she must have had a pretty colorful "love" life at one time. Witness the disapproving daughter named Saffron, rebelling in her own way, and ex-husband Number 1, Saffie's father, who's gay.

Menopause Meets Fat Cells

Although younger than Patsy, Edina Monsoon (played by Jennifer Saunders who also writes this inspired lunacy), frets about her age too: "I grieve for menopause," she says poignantly. And her weight: "Every fat cell I've ever lost or gained has come back for the fat cell reunion of the year." She blames this for having never visited her daughter, what's her name, in prison, hindered as she was by this "huge returned truncal obesity."

I love this show.

But it is an acquired taste. I was given a tape of six episodes to watch one weekend long ago, and remember going from What the #@!?!  during the first episode, to mild giggles during the next few, to LOL by the last one. I was hooked, always craving more: it was my favorite TV jones.

Saks_Ad001Well, it looks like there will be more Ab Fab for us fans. Besides this ad from the Sunday New York Times (OMG: Is Patsy now a fashion icon?), a new series for 2013 is being planned as we speak. And maybe even a movie — on the Riviera. Meanwhile, you can catch the special, "Identity" (as in does Pats have one?) and other reruns on BBC America.

But proceed with caution. Like Lord Byron, Patsy and Edina are "Mad, bad and dangerous to know."

You've been warned.

 
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Comments  

 
0 # diana 2012-01-11 09:48
How could you possibly follow that plotline? Harder than my new favorite indulgence "Revenge" on tonight, BTW.
I did always wonder what they had under those domes. Since you seen to be in the know, what is in Snookie's hair?
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0 # Pat Fortunato 2012-01-11 09:56
Snookie? I'd have to say condoms.Or lubricant.
But honestly, the Ab Fab plot line is simple:
Baron, Saffie's mate from prison, turns out to be Patsy's drug dealer: Patsy owes her 50 thousand quid! To get the money, Eddy forces Patsy to claim her pension , which turns out to be "millions" since it's been unclaimed so long. They pay off Baron and go back to their evil ways.
As to Revenge: I thought that was supposed to be sweet, not complicated.
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0 # Lucy 2012-01-11 10:00
I was confused, too.
Guess you had to be there.
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0 # Pat Fortunato 2012-01-11 10:03
Mea culpa!
The last thing I want to do is confuse readers. You might get. . . bitter!
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0 # Gary Poole 2012-01-13 19:31
Sounds good. I'll try and get the DVDs.
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0 # Pat Fortunato 2012-01-13 19:43
I think you will love it. But remember, it IS an acquired taste. And very, very British.
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REVIEWS TO PERUSE

I'm All Right, Jack:
"Jack" is not just all right, it's totally delightful and fresh as a daisy after all these years (made in 1959), with Sellers, although not technically the lead, giving the brilliant performance that launched him as an international star. He plays an all-too-zealous union leader and father of a blonde bombshell who falls for Stanley, the British Upper Class Twit played, also to perfection, by Ian Carmichael, who you might remember from the Lord Peter Wimsey series. The makeout scenes between the the Twit and the Bombshell are priceless. But what is Stanley doing in this working class atmosphere anyway? Working. And too well at that. Forced by financial circumstances too dreary to discuss, he gets a job in his uncle's factory and messes things up for the other workers by, well, working, and thus making his fellow employees look bad. The film takes a big shot at unions — but also at management: they are manipulating white-collar thieves who'll do anything for a buck. Or a pound. Except for the ones, like Major Hitchcock, played by Terry Thomas, who are just plain lazy and inept. Needless to say, Stanley foils everybody's plans, labor and management alike, to my great joy and delight. Oh, and on top of everything else, Margaret Rutherford plays dotty dowager Aunt Dolly. Delicious!

 The Big Lebowski:
What can you say that hasn't been said before: brilliant, inspired, with some of the most memorable lines ever to come out of a movie, the most quoted being "The Dude abides." Oh yes. For anyone who hasn't yet seen the film, and it's now out in a special Blu-Ray edition if that floats your bowling ball. The Dude in question,  played to perfection by Jeff Bridges, is an out-of-work pothead who is roughed up and has his rug destroyed by some thugs mistaking him for another, bigger, Lebowski. The Dude is really upset about this because, man, "that rug really tied the room together," which The Dude says with all seriousness and not a trace of irony, a great comic touch considering the condition his condition is in.  Oh, and besides "Just Dropped In," all the music is perfect for the film. The plot, according to Wikipedia, which has been known to be wrong, is "loosely based on Raymond chandler's novel, The Big Sleep." Could be. But who cares. It involves a bowling competition, "the occasional acid flashback," a trophy wife, a group of German nihilists, a kidnapping gone awry, a mad millionaire and his lackey, in another great performance by Philip Seymour Hoffman. Actually, they're all great performances. Never a fan of John Goodman before or since, he is brilliant in this film. And so are John Turturro, overacting his little heart out, Steve Buscemi in a nerdy, needy role that makes you marvel at his star turn in Boardwalk Empire, and even the actors in the smaller parts, especially Julianne Moore and Sam Elliott. Elliott plays The Stranger (God? Everyman? The part of us that roots for the bad boy?) who elicits from Bridges the immortal words, "The Dude abides." Which prompts The Stranger to comment to the audience: "Don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I sure hope he makes the finals." We'll never know about the bowling trophy because there's never been a sequel to this 1998 film by the great Coen Brothers, and I hope there never will be. It just abides, as all great films do.

Prince of the City:
Okay, the criticisms of this movie are not totally unfounded: it's too long, and Treat Williams may have overacted a bit, although I found him so deliciously charming I couldn't care less, and there's one part concerning the Jerry Orbach character I just didn't understand. But get over it, The New Yorker, this is one powerful movie. And yes, Dog Day Afternoon it isn't, but what it? The DVD has a great special feature with Williams (I so want to call him Treat) and Sidney (what the hell: I once made a meatloaf sandwich for the man) that explains a lot about filmmaking in general and this movie in particular. Also, Sidney's views on good and evil, and how things are not so black and white as you think. I loved it.

Bad Day At Black Rock:
Recommended on TCM by Robert Osbourne as a film he originally had no interest in seeing, then loved it, and by Alex Baldwin, who pointed out the great actors in the cast, including Lee Marvin, Ernest Brognine and Dean Jagger. Well, after all that, I had to like it, right?  I did. A lot. It was a Good Day On My Couch.
Behind the Scenes Stuff: Spencer Tracey was off drinking and wouldn't commit to the film until the producers (who wanted him desperately) told him that they had Alan Ladd, at which point Tracey grabbed it.  He was perfect for the part, wearing a dark suit and tie the entire time in a western setting,  pulling it off perfectly. Other than that "fashion statement," the film makes a strong case against racism: the hatred of the Japanese during WW2. See it.

Song of The Thin Man:
I usually like these frothy, silly, suave, utter unrealistic films from the 30s and 40s, with William Powell and Myrna Loy as the couple we'd all like to be — if only we had the looks, brains, money, a huge capacity for drinking and a dog like Asta. But this one was a stinker, rather than a stinger, or maybe a sinker, because  it turned out to be the last, not to mention the least, in the series. Watch any of the others four sequels, but not this one: Even the pooch jumped the shark.

The Children's Hour:
It had its moments, and just looking at Audrey Hepburn makes life worth living, but mostly I kept thinking that the play, by Lillian Hellman, was so much better. It's about two young women runing a school for girls, who are accused by a hateful little brat of being (GASP!) lesbians. And although the closest we get in this 1961 production to using that actual term is the word "unnatural," it's enough to ruin their lives.  A young Shirley McClaine is worth seeing in this, and James Garner, and Audrey Hepburn is, well, Audrey Hepburn. The rumor of the love that dare not speak its name is totally untrue — or is it? And I'll say no more, because you should see the movie for yourself, imperfect as it may be, as is Life Itself.

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