INCREDIBLY LOUD!
Written by Pat Fortunato   
Tuesday, 03 January 2012 09:34

Movies Are Louder Than Ever

extremelyLoud2If you're Generation X, Y, Z or any other letter, you will soon be experiencing loss of hearing, not to mention turbulence.

Baby boomers: Can you hear me? You're probably on your second hearing aid and wondering why the hell they haven't figured out how to keep out the ambient sounds.

But wait! Being a little deaf might not be all bad. In fact, you're at an advantage in this noisy and getting noisier world. Especially at the movies.

I am not the slightest bit deaf, a gift and a curse, the better to hear, painfully, how incredibly loud movies have become. I'm not talking about the new Tom Hanks film, which is mostly in the modest decibel range — and sweet: I cried at the trailer, and wept at the end of the film. But then, I cry at shaving cream commercials. Those nicks, those scrapes, oh the humanity.

What's really a crying shame is the colossally annoying noise levels, especially of the trailers for which I am a captive audience. I have to get there early to get a good seat, being vertically challenged and all. And is it just me, or do they pump up the sound the way they do commercials on TV? Whatever.

Good Lord, Watson, What Happened To Holmes?

Sherlock2Case (pun intended) in point: the new Sherlock Holmes adventure, inexplicably subtitled A Game of Shadows. Well, they had to call it something. But Game? Only if you consider Rollerball a game. And Shadows? What shadows? It was all in-your-face action, nothing the slightest subtle about it. Shadows are soft and silent, last time I looked.

I don't even complain about the violence anymore : I have become a master of watching horrific scenes through my fingers, lowering my hands as soon as the screaming has stopped.

What I couldn't stand was the *@#!!? N O I S E!!!

Devotees of Sherlock Holmes will find lots of other things here that get their knickers in a knot. Like what happened to Sherlock's intellectual side, and doesn't he ever sit still for a minute and think things through? And yes, he is a master of disguises. But every ten minutes? And as upholstery? (You had to be there.)

Okay, we no longer expect him to say, "Elementary, my dear Watson" (although I, personally, wouldn't mind if he did), but come on, he's the father of all deductive crime solvers, a precursor to Hercule Poirot, Miss Marple, Monk, Columbo even! — and this movie made your head spin: with the high voltage volume, not even those great detectives could hear themselves think. It felt to me like an action movie for teenage boys, and hey, if that's your thing, fine. But couldn't they turn down the noise just a little for the rest of us who are not teenage boys? Apparently not.

Even my husband, who likes the sound of power tools (sigh) thought it was too loud.  I don't mean to pick on the Sherlock Holmes movie. Well, maybe I do . . .

Noise Hurts!

The point is that nearly all movies At A Theatre Near You are deafeningly, maddeningly, dangerously LOUD. Yes, dangerous. And not just from the brain cells you lose by watching them. It's a fact that baby boomers are losing their hearing earlier than previous generations — mostly from the music, sure, but movies couldn't help.

GaryOldmanTTSSMust They Be Loud To Be Exciting?

No! Take Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy,  absolutely wonderful, intriguing and intelligent, with the most perfect performance — very quiet — by Gary Oldman. But to see it, we had to sit  through so many trailers of so many loud movies, I have blocked out the names.

I do remember one: The Devil Inside, and as far as I was able to think, I thought, Do we really need to revisit The Exorcist? Oh, and The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. Of course, that would be loud. And violent. People magazine says that it's brutal, and that brutal is good because we really get into the weird and dark world of Lisbeth Salander. I guess.

I've seen a few movies not intended to break your eardrums this year: Midnight in Paris, The Descendants, and heard about some others: My Week With Marilyn, The Artist (a silent movie: what will they think of next).

War Horse gets a pass because of all those battles, and let's face it, war is never quiet. It's peace and quiet. Remember that? Not if you've been to the movies lately.

And I'm not even counting that annoying person sitting right next to you (how did you get so lucky) who seems to be eating a full-course dinner. Loudly. And the guy behind you who has a thing about cellophane. Duh. You open the candy during a quiet part of the movie, Einstein. If you can find one.

And yet. Neither noise nor brainlessness, nor gloom of night for that matter, shall keep me from my appointed movies.

Seen any good ones lately??????

 
This is a threaded commenting system. click [Reply to this comment] for your comment to be underneath the comment you're replying to.

Comments  

 
0 # Gary Poole 2012-01-03 19:46
I couldn't agree with you more. I am sick and tired of car crashes, explosions, endless fist fights where nobody gets hurt even when hit with a chair. I avoid the new Sherlock Holmes movies altogether. He aint Mr. Holmes, he's more James Bond or Batman. Give me good funny, thoughtful, romantic comedies and movies that make you THINK!
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
 
 
0 # Pat Fortunato 2012-01-03 23:20
Think? Who can think with all that noise?
I do recommend Midnight in Paris if you haven't already seen it for a funny, thoughtful movie. Or, the best ever, Annie Hall.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
 
 
0 # Lucy 2012-01-03 23:32
You're right. Where is Woody Allen when we need him?
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
 
 
0 # Pat Fortunato 2012-01-04 08:52
Fiddling with Nero. . . I think he's in post production with a movie called Nero Fiddled with Judy Davis and Jesse Eisenberg that takes place in Italy and Spain.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
 
 
0 # Eloise 2012-01-04 11:38
My father always takes little wads of tissue to the movies with him. I have chided him for being old and curmudgeonly. But over the holidays, at the Tintin movie of all places, I found myself holding out my hand for tissue wads of my own...
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
 
 
0 # Pat Fortunato 2012-01-04 11:56
Was is that loud — or that sad? I guess loud, because you need whole tissues to dab your eyes. Either way, not sure I should shell out 10 bucks to see Tintin. . .
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
 
 
0 # Diana 2012-01-04 13:20
It's my opinion that they have to make loud movies so they could be heard over the two idiots behind you that are explaining the movie to each other.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
 
 
0 # Pat Fortunato 2012-01-04 18:21
I love it when they describe the obvious: That's quite a storm . . . He shot that guy! . . . She looks mad. . .
Oh wait, that last one was talking about me.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
 
 
0 # lisleman 2012-01-04 16:04
You are right about the trailers and TV ads having higher volume. At least they didn't start giving a volume award yet. Maybe I'll try to get to Midnight in Paris.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
 
 
0 # Pat Fortunato 2012-01-04 18:24
Definitely, and let me know if you liked it.
Also, try to catch The Descendants while it's still in theatres. Bring ear plugs — or wads of tissues — for the trailors.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
 
 
0 # Gary Poole 2012-01-05 15:16
Midnight in Paris is now on Netflix. I moved it up to the top of my list. So far I have seen close to 300 movies on Netflix. Love it, even though their price went up.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
 
 
0 # Pat Fortunato 2012-01-17 18:44
Don't you DVR movies from Turner Classics? It's free!
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
 
 
0 # Pete 2012-01-17 17:51
that sherlock holmes film is the worst i have ever seen. and yes far too loud. humourless drivel and rubbish acting - probably due to crap directing, and far far too loud. ritchie is really talentless
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
 
 
0 # Pat Fortunato 2012-01-17 18:42
Hi, Pete: I felt similarly, but what really surprised me was talking to some "Sherlockians" — devotees of Sherlock Holmes — and learning that they liked some aspects of it: especially the portrayal of Watson, who came off as a dolt in some earlier versions. They liked the movie far more than you or I did. Go figure.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
 

Add comment

Notify me of follow-up comments

Blog Roll

Comments

  • I'll Drink To That!
    I most definitely plan to vote but it is our choic...
  • I'll Drink To That!
    Just thought that the correlation between greatnes...
  • OH, SUGAR!
    Don't worry, Mr. P. I never count calories and I w...
  • I'll Drink To That!
    I'm going to vote, but not on caffeine vs. alcohol...
  • OH, SUGAR!
    Pat, stop counting grams, etc. Portion control is ...
  • OH, SUGAR!
    And you were eating the cottage cheese because you...
  • OH, SUGAR!
    I see what you mean: there's 3 grams of fat in the...
  • OH, SUGAR!
    This is in the same category of advice as A piece ...
  • OH, SUGAR!
    Do what I do - don't wear your glasses when you ea...
  • It's No Yoke!
    If it ever does, I'm going to document it and keep...
My site was nominated for Best Humor Blog!

Bitter Patter

Friday the 13th 
Came and went.

I bought a lottery ticket 
And didn't win.  

Reread
 
THE 13th FLOOR
To remind myself how lucky I am.

WENT FISHING!

Well, eating fish anyway.
And swimming, although not with the fishes in the Uncle Nunzio sense.

Back from the Caribbean. 
But don't be TOO jealous:

My tan has already faded. 
Besdies, before we left, I had to go through 

THE ELEVEN STAGES OF PACKING
Which is not for sissies.

Just got a call from 
(Gasp!) the dental hygienist. 
Hasn't she read:

A DEVOUT COWARD 
GOES TO THE DENTIST

Do NOT Google Santorum.
I warned you . . .

 Just as I posted I WAS THE GIRL PHANTOM, I found a website called The Ghost Who Blogs about The Phantom comics:

http://falkonthewildside.blogspot.com

Writing Comics. . .
Was a small but wonderful part of my checkered career, and doing a post about it  brought back a lot of great memories. If you know any other women in NYC who wrote — or are writing — comics, tell me how to get in touch with them. 

I'm on a watching-old-movies kick these days.
Great way to lose yourself.
If you're lucky, you'll never be found. 

REVIEWS TO PERUSE

I'm All Right, Jack:
"Jack" is not just all right, it's totally delightful and fresh as a daisy after all these years (made in 1959), with Sellers, although not technically the lead, giving the brilliant performance that launched him as an international star. He plays an all-too-zealous union leader and father of a blonde bombshell who falls for Stanley, the British Upper Class Twit played, also to perfection, by Ian Carmichael, who you might remember from the Lord Peter Wimsey series. The makeout scenes between the the Twit and the Bombshell are priceless. But what is Stanley doing in this working class atmosphere anyway? Working. And too well at that. Forced by financial circumstances too dreary to discuss, he gets a job in his uncle's factory and messes things up for the other workers by, well, working, and thus making his fellow employees look bad. The film takes a big shot at unions — but also at management: they are manipulating white-collar thieves who'll do anything for a buck. Or a pound. Except for the ones, like Major Hitchcock, played by Terry Thomas, who are just plain lazy and inept. Needless to say, Stanley foils everybody's plans, labor and management alike, to my great joy and delight. Oh, and on top of everything else, Margaret Rutherford plays dotty dowager Aunt Dolly. Delicious!

 The Big Lebowski:
What can you say that hasn't been said before: brilliant, inspired, with some of the most memorable lines ever to come out of a movie, the most quoted being "The Dude abides." Oh yes. For anyone who hasn't yet seen the film, and it's now out in a special Blu-Ray edition if that floats your bowling ball. The Dude in question,  played to perfection by Jeff Bridges, is an out-of-work pothead who is roughed up and has his rug destroyed by some thugs mistaking him for another, bigger, Lebowski. The Dude is really upset about this because, man, "that rug really tied the room together," which The Dude says with all seriousness and not a trace of irony, a great comic touch considering the condition his condition is in.  Oh, and besides "Just Dropped In," all the music is perfect for the film. The plot, according to Wikipedia, which has been known to be wrong, is "loosely based on Raymond chandler's novel, The Big Sleep." Could be. But who cares. It involves a bowling competition, "the occasional acid flashback," a trophy wife, a group of German nihilists, a kidnapping gone awry, a mad millionaire and his lackey, in another great performance by Philip Seymour Hoffman. Actually, they're all great performances. Never a fan of John Goodman before or since, he is brilliant in this film. And so are John Turturro, overacting his little heart out, Steve Buscemi in a nerdy, needy role that makes you marvel at his star turn in Boardwalk Empire, and even the actors in the smaller parts, especially Julianne Moore and Sam Elliott. Elliott plays The Stranger (God? Everyman? The part of us that roots for the bad boy?) who elicits from Bridges the immortal words, "The Dude abides." Which prompts The Stranger to comment to the audience: "Don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I sure hope he makes the finals." We'll never know about the bowling trophy because there's never been a sequel to this 1998 film by the great Coen Brothers, and I hope there never will be. It just abides, as all great films do.

Prince of the City:
Okay, the criticisms of this movie are not totally unfounded: it's too long, and Treat Williams may have overacted a bit, although I found him so deliciously charming I couldn't care less, and there's one part concerning the Jerry Orbach character I just didn't understand. But get over it, The New Yorker, this is one powerful movie. And yes, Dog Day Afternoon it isn't, but what it? The DVD has a great special feature with Williams (I so want to call him Treat) and Sidney (what the hell: I once made a meatloaf sandwich for the man) that explains a lot about filmmaking in general and this movie in particular. Also, Sidney's views on good and evil, and how things are not so black and white as you think. I loved it.

Bad Day At Black Rock:
Recommended on TCM by Robert Osbourne as a film he originally had no interest in seeing, then loved it, and by Alex Baldwin, who pointed out the great actors in the cast, including Lee Marvin, Ernest Brognine and Dean Jagger. Well, after all that, I had to like it, right?  I did. A lot. It was a Good Day On My Couch.
Behind the Scenes Stuff: Spencer Tracey was off drinking and wouldn't commit to the film until the producers (who wanted him desperately) told him that they had Alan Ladd, at which point Tracey grabbed it.  He was perfect for the part, wearing a dark suit and tie the entire time in a western setting,  pulling it off perfectly. Other than that "fashion statement," the film makes a strong case against racism: the hatred of the Japanese during WW2. See it.

Song of The Thin Man:
I usually like these frothy, silly, suave, utter unrealistic films from the 30s and 40s, with William Powell and Myrna Loy as the couple we'd all like to be — if only we had the looks, brains, money, a huge capacity for drinking and a dog like Asta. But this one was a stinker, rather than a stinger, or maybe a sinker, because  it turned out to be the last, not to mention the least, in the series. Watch any of the others four sequels, but not this one: Even the pooch jumped the shark.

The Children's Hour:
It had its moments, and just looking at Audrey Hepburn makes life worth living, but mostly I kept thinking that the play, by Lillian Hellman, was so much better. It's about two young women runing a school for girls, who are accused by a hateful little brat of being (GASP!) lesbians. And although the closest we get in this 1961 production to using that actual term is the word "unnatural," it's enough to ruin their lives.  A young Shirley McClaine is worth seeing in this, and James Garner, and Audrey Hepburn is, well, Audrey Hepburn. The rumor of the love that dare not speak its name is totally untrue — or is it? And I'll say no more, because you should see the movie for yourself, imperfect as it may be, as is Life Itself.

Because when I am not blogging, I sometimes cook,
and because woman does not live
by martinis alone,
I like this blog:

grapesandgreens.blogspot.com

To comment on
BITTER PATTER
Click on:
Welcome To My Blog


Scroll down to
PAT'S FAVORITES
for a blast
from the past.
rssfeedV2