Are We Ready For Gay Weddings?
Written by Pat Fortunato   
Monday, 25 July 2011 10:21

gayweddingcake

Gay Marrriage:
Legal In NY!

And you know what that means: gay weddings.

As of Sunday, we've been having them like crazy.  But when I wrote about this two years ago, it was the first —and only— time readers didn't leave comments.

What was that about?
Maybe you thought maybe it was a non-issue — that consenting adults of any gender should be able to tie the knot in the privacy of their own home, church, synagogue, mosque, catered hall, chapel in Las Vegas, striped tent, rooftop, mountain top, river raft,  underwater shark tank, bungee jump platform, or any other damn place they choose.

Whatever.
It's time to revisit the issue and see what you have to say now . . .

As for me, I want a wedding!
Not my own, silly. Been there, done that.

I want to be invited to a gay wedding.

Adam and Steve: are you listening? I'm not kidding about this.

I have a fantasy about gay weddings, especially between two guys. I'm thinking really tasteful with all the perfect touches, like Charlotte's in Sex and the City, but with more flair.  I saw a picture of two grooms wearing white tuxes with pink shirts and ties. Forget the Wedding Bell Blues. This was pink and white — and gorgeous! I can only imagine the flowers and the table arrangements.

But deep down, really deep down, I hope that some of these weddings will be out-and-out outrageous—like the the gay prom in SATC.  I want to borrow a taffeta dress, with tulle maybe, get big hair, and wear way too much eye shadow.

But perhaps I'm being too optimistic. Maybe gay weddings will be just like the heterosexual variety: big, obscenely expensive, with music so loud you have to read lips to get through dinner.  I hope not. But come on, we made it legal! Let them eat wedding cake! If they have enough bread, it could be a really great cake, with two grooms or two brides on the top and everything.

For a while, I thought I'd have to go to Iowa for this . . .

Iowa was actually ahead of  us on legalizing gay marriages. Really.

I went to Iowa City once, for a Nancy Drew convention, and all I could think was, there's no there there. Now I know better. These people have it straight, so to speak. We thought that a big night in the Midwest was listening to the corn grow. Apparently, not so. Although it is true that you  can hear corn grow: it has periods when it sprouts up really, really fast, usually at night, I think, and the leaves or husks, or whatever they are, make rustling noises as they shoot up. Pretty cool.

Meanwhile, back in the Big Apple, what's the big deal? Gays are already living together and even adopting children, so why all the fuss about that "little piece of paper" our boyfriends used to tell us was so unimportant. Even Archie Comics is devoting a whole book to its gay character, Kevin, although I don't think Nancy Drew or the Hardy Boys have caught up to this trend.

And if Joe or Frank turn out to be gay, would that destroy civilization as we know it? And if one of them decided to get married . . .

So You Go, Guys! And girls, of course, which I hasten to add is implied in the generic term "guys." Don't nail me for being politically incorrect. Remember, "Girls" is iffy, too. You Go, Women just doesn't cut it as a slogan. You Go, Ladies? I think not.

You Go, Gays?

Does that make anyone happier?

GayBridesAMCThe reason I haven't talked about weddings between two women is that I think they won't be so extreme. The civil union ceremonies I've heard about sounded lovely, but sedate, like this fictional one from All My Children. Nothing wrong with that, but they seemed just like nice, straight weddings. I could be wrong, but I think that even Rosie O'Donnell had a less-than-outrageous traditional wedding.

What  about Cynthia Nixon?

CynthiaNixonShe had a lovely, simple wedding on Sex and the City. But that was with Steve. Now she's got Christina. And while Christina seems like a sweet, steady-as-she-goes kind of gal, who knows what nuptials might bring out in these two? They looked nice at this awards ceremony. But would their wedding be a big wilder? Or have they already married, quietly, in Iowa?

I don't know, but I have the feeling that gay weddings could make marriage seem like such a cool thing to do that even I might line up to catch the bouquet at the next wedding I go to, which could be a gay one, hint, hint.  So what if I'm already married? Stranger things have happened.

 

 

Click here for the original, unexpurgated article:
You Go, Guys
a_weddding_tonight

For more on my own, rather unique nuptuals:

A Wedding Tonight!

Nothing Is Simple: The Wedding Bell Blues


And now,  for your comments . . .

 

 

 

 
This is a threaded commenting system. click [Reply to this comment] for your comment to be underneath the comment you're replying to.

Comments  

 
0 # lucy 2011-07-25 13:51
I have nothing against gay marriages, but you're kind of hard on Iowa City.
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0 # Pat Fortunato 2011-07-27 08:41
Actually, I would LIKE to spend an evening hearing the corn grow...
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0 # Roux58 2011-07-27 08:00
I too want to be invited to a fabulous, outrageous wedding. Its ridiculous that it took this long to legalize gay marriage.
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0 # Pat Fortunato 2011-07-27 08:42
If you get invited, may we could go as a couple????
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0 # Diana 2011-07-27 09:01
Hey, just think about the boostthis will be for our sagging economy! Wedding planners,cateri ng halls, engravers,dress and tux designers, florists, travel agents, not to mention pre-nup lawyers, therapists, and the ever popular self-help book publishers take note. This surely is win-win for everyone.
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0 # Pat Fortunato 2011-07-27 11:47
Tell that to the protesters who think it will mean The End Of The World. Most of us agree with you, including our dear Mayor.
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0 # Lou 2011-07-27 11:21
I have a question, What is Iowa?
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0 # Pat Fortunato 2011-07-27 11:44
It's a far off land where Republicans go to choose a candidate who can't possibly win in the general election. Or maybe to hear the the corn grow.
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0 # Curtis 2011-08-06 02:04
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHHAHAHAAHAHA HAHA. My home beotch.
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0 # Pat Fortunato 2011-08-07 19:24
Thank you for your comment. I think.
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0 # Diana 2011-07-28 09:21
Iowa--home of Johnny Carson and John Wayne as well as Herbert Hoover and Michele Bachmann (I guess the state wasn't big enough for her to stay and represent). Oh, and Ashton Kutcher...
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0 # Pat Fortunato 2011-08-07 19:26
They have Nancy Drew Conferences there too.
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0 # Gary Poole 2011-07-29 18:22
All of my gay couple friends have been together for so long, I think of them as already married. Glad they're finally getting that piece of paper so they can have all the rights that we have. Go guys! Go gals!
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Bitter Patter

Friday the 13th 
Came and went.

I bought a lottery ticket 
And didn't win.  

Reread
 
THE 13th FLOOR
To remind myself how lucky I am.

WENT FISHING!

Well, eating fish anyway.
And swimming, although not with the fishes in the Uncle Nunzio sense.

Back from the Caribbean. 
But don't be TOO jealous:

My tan has already faded. 
Besdies, before we left, I had to go through 

THE ELEVEN STAGES OF PACKING
Which is not for sissies.

Just got a call from 
(Gasp!) the dental hygienist. 
Hasn't she read:

A DEVOUT COWARD 
GOES TO THE DENTIST

Do NOT Google Santorum.
I warned you . . .

 Just as I posted I WAS THE GIRL PHANTOM, I found a website called The Ghost Who Blogs about The Phantom comics:

http://falkonthewildside.blogspot.com

Writing Comics. . .
Was a small but wonderful part of my checkered career, and doing a post about it  brought back a lot of great memories. If you know any other women in NYC who wrote — or are writing — comics, tell me how to get in touch with them. 

I'm on a watching-old-movies kick these days.
Great way to lose yourself.
If you're lucky, you'll never be found. 

REVIEWS TO PERUSE

I'm All Right, Jack:
"Jack" is not just all right, it's totally delightful and fresh as a daisy after all these years (made in 1959), with Sellers, although not technically the lead, giving the brilliant performance that launched him as an international star. He plays an all-too-zealous union leader and father of a blonde bombshell who falls for Stanley, the British Upper Class Twit played, also to perfection, by Ian Carmichael, who you might remember from the Lord Peter Wimsey series. The makeout scenes between the the Twit and the Bombshell are priceless. But what is Stanley doing in this working class atmosphere anyway? Working. And too well at that. Forced by financial circumstances too dreary to discuss, he gets a job in his uncle's factory and messes things up for the other workers by, well, working, and thus making his fellow employees look bad. The film takes a big shot at unions — but also at management: they are manipulating white-collar thieves who'll do anything for a buck. Or a pound. Except for the ones, like Major Hitchcock, played by Terry Thomas, who are just plain lazy and inept. Needless to say, Stanley foils everybody's plans, labor and management alike, to my great joy and delight. Oh, and on top of everything else, Margaret Rutherford plays dotty dowager Aunt Dolly. Delicious!

 The Big Lebowski:
What can you say that hasn't been said before: brilliant, inspired, with some of the most memorable lines ever to come out of a movie, the most quoted being "The Dude abides." Oh yes. For anyone who hasn't yet seen the film, and it's now out in a special Blu-Ray edition if that floats your bowling ball. The Dude in question,  played to perfection by Jeff Bridges, is an out-of-work pothead who is roughed up and has his rug destroyed by some thugs mistaking him for another, bigger, Lebowski. The Dude is really upset about this because, man, "that rug really tied the room together," which The Dude says with all seriousness and not a trace of irony, a great comic touch considering the condition his condition is in.  Oh, and besides "Just Dropped In," all the music is perfect for the film. The plot, according to Wikipedia, which has been known to be wrong, is "loosely based on Raymond chandler's novel, The Big Sleep." Could be. But who cares. It involves a bowling competition, "the occasional acid flashback," a trophy wife, a group of German nihilists, a kidnapping gone awry, a mad millionaire and his lackey, in another great performance by Philip Seymour Hoffman. Actually, they're all great performances. Never a fan of John Goodman before or since, he is brilliant in this film. And so are John Turturro, overacting his little heart out, Steve Buscemi in a nerdy, needy role that makes you marvel at his star turn in Boardwalk Empire, and even the actors in the smaller parts, especially Julianne Moore and Sam Elliott. Elliott plays The Stranger (God? Everyman? The part of us that roots for the bad boy?) who elicits from Bridges the immortal words, "The Dude abides." Which prompts The Stranger to comment to the audience: "Don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I sure hope he makes the finals." We'll never know about the bowling trophy because there's never been a sequel to this 1998 film by the great Coen Brothers, and I hope there never will be. It just abides, as all great films do.

Prince of the City:
Okay, the criticisms of this movie are not totally unfounded: it's too long, and Treat Williams may have overacted a bit, although I found him so deliciously charming I couldn't care less, and there's one part concerning the Jerry Orbach character I just didn't understand. But get over it, The New Yorker, this is one powerful movie. And yes, Dog Day Afternoon it isn't, but what it? The DVD has a great special feature with Williams (I so want to call him Treat) and Sidney (what the hell: I once made a meatloaf sandwich for the man) that explains a lot about filmmaking in general and this movie in particular. Also, Sidney's views on good and evil, and how things are not so black and white as you think. I loved it.

Bad Day At Black Rock:
Recommended on TCM by Robert Osbourne as a film he originally had no interest in seeing, then loved it, and by Alex Baldwin, who pointed out the great actors in the cast, including Lee Marvin, Ernest Brognine and Dean Jagger. Well, after all that, I had to like it, right?  I did. A lot. It was a Good Day On My Couch.
Behind the Scenes Stuff: Spencer Tracey was off drinking and wouldn't commit to the film until the producers (who wanted him desperately) told him that they had Alan Ladd, at which point Tracey grabbed it.  He was perfect for the part, wearing a dark suit and tie the entire time in a western setting,  pulling it off perfectly. Other than that "fashion statement," the film makes a strong case against racism: the hatred of the Japanese during WW2. See it.

Song of The Thin Man:
I usually like these frothy, silly, suave, utter unrealistic films from the 30s and 40s, with William Powell and Myrna Loy as the couple we'd all like to be — if only we had the looks, brains, money, a huge capacity for drinking and a dog like Asta. But this one was a stinker, rather than a stinger, or maybe a sinker, because  it turned out to be the last, not to mention the least, in the series. Watch any of the others four sequels, but not this one: Even the pooch jumped the shark.

The Children's Hour:
It had its moments, and just looking at Audrey Hepburn makes life worth living, but mostly I kept thinking that the play, by Lillian Hellman, was so much better. It's about two young women runing a school for girls, who are accused by a hateful little brat of being (GASP!) lesbians. And although the closest we get in this 1961 production to using that actual term is the word "unnatural," it's enough to ruin their lives.  A young Shirley McClaine is worth seeing in this, and James Garner, and Audrey Hepburn is, well, Audrey Hepburn. The rumor of the love that dare not speak its name is totally untrue — or is it? And I'll say no more, because you should see the movie for yourself, imperfect as it may be, as is Life Itself.

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