What Should A Blogger Blog About?
Written by Pat Fortunato   
Tuesday, 14 June 2011 15:30

ChineseTakeoutThink of this post as a Chinese takeout dinner.

Nights when you don't feel like cooking but have to put something on the table, you whip out the trusty menu from Empire Divine Garden and order stuff like spare ribs, wonton soup, sesame noodles, egg rolls, steamed dumplings, General Tso's Chicken.

And days when a blogger feels a tad brain dead and writing a real essay is out of the question, she searches for something to post that doesn't require a lot of preparation. Something satisfying and tasty, that leave you hungry for more in about an hour.

Some "appetizers" — topics readers can choose for coming blogs.

Pick one from Column A, and one from . . .

I've got a lot to offer. The list on my desktop of Coming Blogs/Ideas is longer than the federal tax code, and almost as amusing.  I also have a bin where I toss in articles with material for blogs. My bin runneth over. Although some of the topics are well, topical, and should be tossed out, some are timeless, like the perils of twitting: See WEINER DID IT, last week's blog.

Choose New Topics For Blogs From Today's Tempting Menu:

BerlusconiBrainBunga Bunga:

The world of Italian Prime Minister Berlusconi, that rascal, and his merry band of "Secretaries." Of State. Oh, and bunga bunga, of uncertain origin, refers to sex parties. I ask forgiveness in advance from my friends and relatives in Italy for writing about this, but they'll understand.

The Magic Of Mallomars:

Yes, I am an addict, and I can't satisfy my jones until September because these mood enhancers are not available in the summer. What's your poison? Twinkies? Hostess Cupcakes? Devil Dogs? You know you have one.

From Condoms to Hearing Aid Batteries:   

What you keep in your purse changes with the passing years.

 

Or maybe you'd like to read about . . .

HarrysBarCountess For A Night:

Involving Harry's Bar in Venice, the New York Magazine writer Ken Auletta, Eurotrash, a Venetian aristocrat and a lot of Bellinis. I love this story. 

Going Rouge:

Those Republican women may not make any sense, but they sure look good. Is there a lesson in this?

Frugality Sucks:

Trying to stay on a budget is like trying to stay on a diet. Maybe I shouldn't do this one. Too depressing. I think I'll go to Saks. Or Harry's Bar.

Zen and the Art Of Hair Color:

My guy Ming has a calm, Eastern thing going, but I'm still trying to get the right shade of auburn. Ohmmmmm.

The Art Of Avoidance:

Or, Why I Never Wrote That book, Redecorated My Apartment, Decorated My Apartment, Or Made That Appointment With The Dentist. So what are the odds of my writing this post?

Finding Zbigniew:

Yes, Zbigniew (SBIG-nee-ev). I may be the only woman you know who was once married to a man with this first name. Unless you're a close personal friend of former National Security Advisor Zbigniew Brzezinski's wife. I want to know what became of my ex, but from a safe distance.

Silvia And Her Seven Suitcases:

The perils of traveling, lost luggage, sleeping in airports and why you should pack light. Even though you know you won't. This story involves sledding down a hill on a suitcase that wouldn't fit in the car, so I think I'll save it for winter.

Ladies Who Launch, or: Mothers, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Bloggers:

Why do women start blogs? Why does anyone? Are you ever tempted?

WaybackCartoonThe Wayback Machine:

Unlike the imaginary one in Sherman and Peabody's classic cartoons, this one is terrifyingly real. It's a digital time capsule which contains everything (EVERYTHING!) ever put on the Internet.... Don't congressmen know this?

Conversely . . .

Fuggetaboutit:

New research on a procedure that could erase parts of your memory, especially severe trauma. I wonder if I ever forget that embarrassing date when I singed my eyelashes (oh, the humanity) trying to look sophisticated by lighting my cigarette with a candle. Wait a minute. Did I write this post already???

I'm tempted to add another idea:
Who Is General Tso Anyway And What's He Got To Do With Poultry?
But, who cares.

 

PEOPLE, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?
Pick a topic — or lots of them — and I'll deliver them in a coming blog.

Free rice for the first 10 people who comment.

 
This is a threaded commenting system. click [Reply to this comment] for your comment to be underneath the comment you're replying to.

Comments  

 
0 # Lucy 2011-06-14 19:22
I'd like to hear that Countess story.
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0 # Pat Fortunato 2011-06-14 19:28
You sure you don't want Mallomars?
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0 # Silvia 2011-06-15 17:07
Would like to read whatever you want to write about! Although I am intrigued by Harry's Bar....
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0 # Pat Fortunato 2011-06-15 17:10
That's two for the Countess. . .
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0 # Gary Poole 2011-06-17 16:58
The last I heard about Zbigniew he was a photographer for Playboy magazine. Perhaps, he got swallowed up there. (Make up your own joke here.) I also would like to read about what women keep in their purses as the years go by. I never, NEVER look inside a woman's purse! But, I would like to know from one who knows.
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0 # Pat Fortunato 2011-06-17 19:32
It was Penthouse, and who knows what went on. About women's purses: good idea for a blog. My Purse, Myself, or some such thing.
Thanks for the idea, but are you sure you want to go there?
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Bitter Patter

Friday the 13th 
Came and went.

I bought a lottery ticket 
And didn't win.  

Reread
 
THE 13th FLOOR
To remind myself how lucky I am.

WENT FISHING!

Well, eating fish anyway.
And swimming, although not with the fishes in the Uncle Nunzio sense.

Back from the Caribbean. 
But don't be TOO jealous:

My tan has already faded. 
Besdies, before we left, I had to go through 

THE ELEVEN STAGES OF PACKING
Which is not for sissies.

Just got a call from 
(Gasp!) the dental hygienist. 
Hasn't she read:

A DEVOUT COWARD 
GOES TO THE DENTIST

Do NOT Google Santorum.
I warned you . . .

 Just as I posted I WAS THE GIRL PHANTOM, I found a website called The Ghost Who Blogs about The Phantom comics:

http://falkonthewildside.blogspot.com

Writing Comics. . .
Was a small but wonderful part of my checkered career, and doing a post about it  brought back a lot of great memories. If you know any other women in NYC who wrote — or are writing — comics, tell me how to get in touch with them. 

I'm on a watching-old-movies kick these days.
Great way to lose yourself.
If you're lucky, you'll never be found. 

REVIEWS TO PERUSE

I'm All Right, Jack:
"Jack" is not just all right, it's totally delightful and fresh as a daisy after all these years (made in 1959), with Sellers, although not technically the lead, giving the brilliant performance that launched him as an international star. He plays an all-too-zealous union leader and father of a blonde bombshell who falls for Stanley, the British Upper Class Twit played, also to perfection, by Ian Carmichael, who you might remember from the Lord Peter Wimsey series. The makeout scenes between the the Twit and the Bombshell are priceless. But what is Stanley doing in this working class atmosphere anyway? Working. And too well at that. Forced by financial circumstances too dreary to discuss, he gets a job in his uncle's factory and messes things up for the other workers by, well, working, and thus making his fellow employees look bad. The film takes a big shot at unions — but also at management: they are manipulating white-collar thieves who'll do anything for a buck. Or a pound. Except for the ones, like Major Hitchcock, played by Terry Thomas, who are just plain lazy and inept. Needless to say, Stanley foils everybody's plans, labor and management alike, to my great joy and delight. Oh, and on top of everything else, Margaret Rutherford plays dotty dowager Aunt Dolly. Delicious!

 The Big Lebowski:
What can you say that hasn't been said before: brilliant, inspired, with some of the most memorable lines ever to come out of a movie, the most quoted being "The Dude abides." Oh yes. For anyone who hasn't yet seen the film, and it's now out in a special Blu-Ray edition if that floats your bowling ball. The Dude in question,  played to perfection by Jeff Bridges, is an out-of-work pothead who is roughed up and has his rug destroyed by some thugs mistaking him for another, bigger, Lebowski. The Dude is really upset about this because, man, "that rug really tied the room together," which The Dude says with all seriousness and not a trace of irony, a great comic touch considering the condition his condition is in.  Oh, and besides "Just Dropped In," all the music is perfect for the film. The plot, according to Wikipedia, which has been known to be wrong, is "loosely based on Raymond chandler's novel, The Big Sleep." Could be. But who cares. It involves a bowling competition, "the occasional acid flashback," a trophy wife, a group of German nihilists, a kidnapping gone awry, a mad millionaire and his lackey, in another great performance by Philip Seymour Hoffman. Actually, they're all great performances. Never a fan of John Goodman before or since, he is brilliant in this film. And so are John Turturro, overacting his little heart out, Steve Buscemi in a nerdy, needy role that makes you marvel at his star turn in Boardwalk Empire, and even the actors in the smaller parts, especially Julianne Moore and Sam Elliott. Elliott plays The Stranger (God? Everyman? The part of us that roots for the bad boy?) who elicits from Bridges the immortal words, "The Dude abides." Which prompts The Stranger to comment to the audience: "Don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I sure hope he makes the finals." We'll never know about the bowling trophy because there's never been a sequel to this 1998 film by the great Coen Brothers, and I hope there never will be. It just abides, as all great films do.

Prince of the City:
Okay, the criticisms of this movie are not totally unfounded: it's too long, and Treat Williams may have overacted a bit, although I found him so deliciously charming I couldn't care less, and there's one part concerning the Jerry Orbach character I just didn't understand. But get over it, The New Yorker, this is one powerful movie. And yes, Dog Day Afternoon it isn't, but what it? The DVD has a great special feature with Williams (I so want to call him Treat) and Sidney (what the hell: I once made a meatloaf sandwich for the man) that explains a lot about filmmaking in general and this movie in particular. Also, Sidney's views on good and evil, and how things are not so black and white as you think. I loved it.

Bad Day At Black Rock:
Recommended on TCM by Robert Osbourne as a film he originally had no interest in seeing, then loved it, and by Alex Baldwin, who pointed out the great actors in the cast, including Lee Marvin, Ernest Brognine and Dean Jagger. Well, after all that, I had to like it, right?  I did. A lot. It was a Good Day On My Couch.
Behind the Scenes Stuff: Spencer Tracey was off drinking and wouldn't commit to the film until the producers (who wanted him desperately) told him that they had Alan Ladd, at which point Tracey grabbed it.  He was perfect for the part, wearing a dark suit and tie the entire time in a western setting,  pulling it off perfectly. Other than that "fashion statement," the film makes a strong case against racism: the hatred of the Japanese during WW2. See it.

Song of The Thin Man:
I usually like these frothy, silly, suave, utter unrealistic films from the 30s and 40s, with William Powell and Myrna Loy as the couple we'd all like to be — if only we had the looks, brains, money, a huge capacity for drinking and a dog like Asta. But this one was a stinker, rather than a stinger, or maybe a sinker, because  it turned out to be the last, not to mention the least, in the series. Watch any of the others four sequels, but not this one: Even the pooch jumped the shark.

The Children's Hour:
It had its moments, and just looking at Audrey Hepburn makes life worth living, but mostly I kept thinking that the play, by Lillian Hellman, was so much better. It's about two young women runing a school for girls, who are accused by a hateful little brat of being (GASP!) lesbians. And although the closest we get in this 1961 production to using that actual term is the word "unnatural," it's enough to ruin their lives.  A young Shirley McClaine is worth seeing in this, and James Garner, and Audrey Hepburn is, well, Audrey Hepburn. The rumor of the love that dare not speak its name is totally untrue — or is it? And I'll say no more, because you should see the movie for yourself, imperfect as it may be, as is Life Itself.

Because when I am not blogging, I sometimes cook,
and because woman does not live
by martinis alone,
I like this blog:

grapesandgreens.blogspot.com

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