| Where Were The GROWNUPS? |
| Written by Pat Fortunato |
| Thursday, 03 March 2011 12:30 |
|
So how did you like those adorable kids from Staten Island singing "Over The Rainbow" at the Oscars? Andy "Who-Needs-Caffeine" Cohen jolted the hosts over at "Morning Joe" by crassly criticizing the cute little buggers, noting that "everything has its time and its place " and this wasn't either. He said that the kiddy chorus at the end of this year's Academy Awards was "terrrible" and "ruined everything!"
Hmm. I wonder what they'd think of my take on the tykes. As I was watching, I was thinking: These kids went all the way to LA., presumably with adult supervisors, all of whom had to be flown out there and put up at hotels, fed, and transported to the event, all at great trouble and expense —and then they appear at the Oscars IN T-SHIRTS??? Yes, yes, I know, that's what kids wear. That's what I wear too, a lot of the time, and so do most of the people who attended the show. But not at the Academy Awards! You dress up for Oscar! People! I mean, grownups! What's with this? You think that kids should wear anything they want, any time they want? Nobody noticed that this was a teachable moment? About being, god forfend, appropriate. About respect for an institution. Okay, yeah, it's an institution we all take pot shots at. But still. I'm not necessarily suggesting tuxes and gowns (don't want to straight-jacket the boys or sexualize the girls), but isn't there something a little bit more formal that the kids could have worn? As for Mr. Cohen — or as they call him in S.I., "Not So Dandy Andy"— I disagree with his wholesale indictment of the perfermance. "Over The Rainbow" is perfect for the Oscars, it being a night where dreams come true. Or not. And with a little grownup guidance, the kids would have been delightful. Meanwhile, the hosts, Anne Hathaway and James Franco . . .
That's what they are. What they aren't are experienced, polished, or seasoned, like say, Whoopi Goldberg or Billy Crystal. When Billy came on for a brief appearance and showed a clip of Bob Hope, the difference was dramatic: young and appealing vs. mature and in charge. Franco has been accused of being stoned during the show, and while I'm not sure about that, he wasn't exactly there, was he? Hathaway showed off each and every gown (8, count' em, 8) to great advantage. Gorgeous that woman is. Gorgeous is good. As a host, she wasn't bad either, in fact she was pretty good, she just wasn't . . . enough. My first impression was, Wow, she is not the slightest bit overwhelmed by this. How cool is that. But as the night wore on, and on, and on, I thought that it might have been better if the two hosts, Franco in particular, hadn't been quite so, what's the word I'm looking for here: Nonchalant? Casual? Young? Whatever. I don't blame them. They're part of the generation that Bill Maher (my favorite curmudgeon) tells us scores low on every test except self esteem. Wait! I'm going to quickly add that these particular two young people have earned the right to enormous self esteem. But they shouldn't have been hosting the Oscars. Who's at fault here? You guessed it, folks: the alleged grownups who are supposed to be charge. They should have known better. And they shouldn't have tried so hard to "attract a younger audience," which didn't work anyway. But what did I expect? Where are the grownups any place these day? Not running our government, that's for sure. Our representatives are the kids who threaten to go home if they don't like the way the game is going. A game by the way that only affects the lives of over 300 million people. Not regulating the financial market, either. Nothing, repeat nothing, has been done by these instituions to prevent another economic meltdown, and the only person in jail is Bernie Madoff, and "all" he did was run a Ponzi scheme, not plunge us into the worst recession since the Great D. But I digress.
Please send in the clowns. You know, veteran comedians like Billy, Whoopi, Steve, Hugh —or even Dave! At Bloginity.com, they have an interesting list of the 12 people they think should host the show in 2012. It includes William Shatner, George Clooney — and Lady Gaga. Lady G? I don't think so. But she definitely should be a presenter. At the very least, she wouldn't show up wearing a T-shirt. |
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Comments
- I'll Drink To That!
I most definitely plan to vote but it is our choic... - I'll Drink To That!
Just thought that the correlation between greatnes... - OH, SUGAR!
Don't worry, Mr. P. I never count calories and I w... - I'll Drink To That!
I'm going to vote, but not on caffeine vs. alcohol... - OH, SUGAR!
Pat, stop counting grams, etc. Portion control is ... - OH, SUGAR!
And you were eating the cottage cheese because you... - OH, SUGAR!
I see what you mean: there's 3 grams of fat in the... - OH, SUGAR!
This is in the same category of advice as A piece ... - OH, SUGAR!
Do what I do - don't wear your glasses when you ea... - It's No Yoke!
If it ever does, I'm going to document it and keep...
Bitter Patter
Friday the 13th
Came and went.
I bought a lottery ticket
And didn't win.
Reread
THE 13th FLOOR
To remind myself how lucky I am.
WENT FISHING!
Well, eating fish anyway.
And swimming, although not with the fishes in the Uncle Nunzio sense.
Back from the Caribbean.
But don't be TOO jealous:
My tan has already faded.
Besdies, before we left, I had to go through
THE ELEVEN STAGES OF PACKING
Which is not for sissies.
Just got a call from
(Gasp!) the dental hygienist.
Hasn't she read:
A DEVOUT COWARD
GOES TO THE DENTIST
Do NOT Google Santorum.
I warned you . . .
Just as I posted I WAS THE GIRL PHANTOM, I found a website called The Ghost Who Blogs about The Phantom comics:
http://falkonthewildside.blogspot.com
Writing Comics. . .
Was a small but wonderful part of my checkered career, and doing a post about it brought back a lot of great memories. If you know any other women in NYC who wrote — or are writing — comics, tell me how to get in touch with them.
I'm on a watching-old-movies kick these days.
Great way to lose yourself.
If you're lucky, you'll never be found.
REVIEWS TO PERUSE
I'm All Right, Jack:
"Jack" is not just all right, it's totally delightful and fresh as a daisy after all these years (made in 1959), with Sellers, although not technically the lead, giving the brilliant performance that launched him as an international star. He plays an all-too-zealous union leader and father of a blonde bombshell who falls for Stanley, the British Upper Class Twit played, also to perfection, by Ian Carmichael, who you might remember from the Lord Peter Wimsey series. The makeout scenes between the the Twit and the Bombshell are priceless. But what is Stanley doing in this working class atmosphere anyway? Working. And too well at that. Forced by financial circumstances too dreary to discuss, he gets a job in his uncle's factory and messes things up for the other workers by, well, working, and thus making his fellow employees look bad. The film takes a big shot at unions — but also at management: they are manipulating white-collar thieves who'll do anything for a buck. Or a pound. Except for the ones, like Major Hitchcock, played by Terry Thomas, who are just plain lazy and inept. Needless to say, Stanley foils everybody's plans, labor and management alike, to my great joy and delight. Oh, and on top of everything else, Margaret Rutherford plays dotty dowager Aunt Dolly. Delicious!
The Big Lebowski:
What can you say that hasn't been said before: brilliant, inspired, with some of the most memorable lines ever to come out of a movie, the most quoted being "The Dude abides." Oh yes. For anyone who hasn't yet seen the film, and it's now out in a special Blu-Ray edition if that floats your bowling ball. The Dude in question, played to perfection by Jeff Bridges, is an out-of-work pothead who is roughed up and has his rug destroyed by some thugs mistaking him for another, bigger, Lebowski. The Dude is really upset about this because, man, "that rug really tied the room together," which The Dude says with all seriousness and not a trace of irony, a great comic touch considering the condition his condition is in. Oh, and besides "Just Dropped In," all the music is perfect for the film. The plot, according to Wikipedia, which has been known to be wrong, is "loosely based on Raymond chandler's novel, The Big Sleep." Could be. But who cares. It involves a bowling competition, "the occasional acid flashback," a trophy wife, a group of German nihilists, a kidnapping gone awry, a mad millionaire and his lackey, in another great performance by Philip Seymour Hoffman. Actually, they're all great performances. Never a fan of John Goodman before or since, he is brilliant in this film. And so are John Turturro, overacting his little heart out, Steve Buscemi in a nerdy, needy role that makes you marvel at his star turn in Boardwalk Empire, and even the actors in the smaller parts, especially Julianne Moore and Sam Elliott. Elliott plays The Stranger (God? Everyman? The part of us that roots for the bad boy?) who elicits from Bridges the immortal words, "The Dude abides." Which prompts The Stranger to comment to the audience: "Don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I sure hope he makes the finals." We'll never know about the bowling trophy because there's never been a sequel to this 1998 film by the great Coen Brothers, and I hope there never will be. It just abides, as all great films do.
Prince of the City:
Okay, the criticisms of this movie are not totally unfounded: it's too long, and Treat Williams may have overacted a bit, although I found him so deliciously charming I couldn't care less, and there's one part concerning the Jerry Orbach character I just didn't understand. But get over it, The New Yorker, this is one powerful movie. And yes, Dog Day Afternoon it isn't, but what it? The DVD has a great special feature with Williams (I so want to call him Treat) and Sidney (what the hell: I once made a meatloaf sandwich for the man) that explains a lot about filmmaking in general and this movie in particular. Also, Sidney's views on good and evil, and how things are not so black and white as you think. I loved it.
Bad Day At Black Rock:
Recommended on TCM by Robert Osbourne as a film he originally had no interest in seeing, then loved it, and by Alex Baldwin, who pointed out the great actors in the cast, including Lee Marvin, Ernest Brognine and Dean Jagger. Well, after all that, I had to like it, right? I did. A lot. It was a Good Day On My Couch.
Behind the Scenes Stuff: Spencer Tracey was off drinking and wouldn't commit to the film until the producers (who wanted him desperately) told him that they had Alan Ladd, at which point Tracey grabbed it. He was perfect for the part, wearing a dark suit and tie the entire time in a western setting, pulling it off perfectly. Other than that "fashion statement," the film makes a strong case against racism: the hatred of the Japanese during WW2. See it.
Song of The Thin Man:
I usually like these frothy, silly, suave, utter unrealistic films from the 30s and 40s, with William Powell and Myrna Loy as the couple we'd all like to be — if only we had the looks, brains, money, a huge capacity for drinking and a dog like Asta. But this one was a stinker, rather than a stinger, or maybe a sinker, because it turned out to be the last, not to mention the least, in the series. Watch any of the others four sequels, but not this one: Even the pooch jumped the shark.
The Children's Hour:
It had its moments, and just looking at Audrey Hepburn makes life worth living, but mostly I kept thinking that the play, by Lillian Hellman, was so much better. It's about two young women runing a school for girls, who are accused by a hateful little brat of being (GASP!) lesbians. And although the closest we get in this 1961 production to using that actual term is the word "unnatural," it's enough to ruin their lives. A young Shirley McClaine is worth seeing in this, and James Garner, and Audrey Hepburn is, well, Audrey Hepburn. The rumor of the love that dare not speak its name is totally untrue — or is it? And I'll say no more, because you should see the movie for yourself, imperfect as it may be, as is Life Itself.
by martinis alone,
I like this blog:
grapesandgreens.blogspot.com
BITTER PATTER
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This in turn incensed the folks at The Staten Island Advocate, who literally cried "Boo! Hiss" in their headline about the Cohen comments.
In case you've been living in a cave without Internet access, they are attractive, bright, and talented.
The Oscars could have been better, they certainly have been worse, and next time, whoever you are who runs this thing:




Comments
I think the the ideal duo to host next year would be William Shatner and James Spader. What a gig that would be. I'm up for it.
(I know. Some of 'em are pushing up daisies, but there's still a few great ones left.) Bring back Steve Martin and
William Baldwin!
Toy Story Naked is good, but I just saw Russell Brand on the View, and this guy would be perfect. With clothes, I think.
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