| Too Easy Chicken |
| Written by Pat Fortunato |
| Monday, 10 October 2011 13:38 |
|
Chicken Recipe, Anyone?
I have a foolproof recipe for roast chicken, but that's not the point. Although if you want to, you can skip to Read More, grab a chicken, and have at it. As for the rest of you, this isn't really about chickens, but about expectations and reality. About the saying, "Be careful what you wish for because you will surely get it." About being pleasantly (gleefully!) surprised about how well one thing wished-for and gotten turned out. About how my honey built me a kitchen. Yes, yes, I know. Most things you really, really want, The Spice Girls notwithstanding, don't end up giving you that much pleasure. Things you felt you "had" to have: that car, that vacation, that guy . . . tend to disappoint in the long run. A few of them live up to your dreams. And a very, very few exceed your expectations and really do make a difference.
Actually, I was skeptical about how much good it would to do to remodel the old one (god knows it needed it) because of its long, narrow shape. Still, my husband seemed keen on the idea and wanted to do most of the work himself (he's actually good at this), so I went forth and chose the tile, the backboard, the granite counter, the cabinets and the paint, and waited for my new kitchen to happen. And waited. And waited. And waited. It was supposed to be done for Thanksgiving, and barely made it for Easter. We lived on lasagna from the freezer and roast chicken from the diner, eating in a living room filled with boxes of pots and pans. A friend suggested that I might be able to speed up the job by sleeping with the contractor. But I was already doing that. Meanwhile, the sink, stove and dishwasher were being rearranged (I didn't know you could even do that) to form a single, continuous work space — replacing the small, cluttered areas of the original "design" if you could even call it that— and all kinds of cabinets were being built into every nook and cranny, including a slide-out pantry that alone was worth the wait. Finally, in the fullness of time, the kitchen was finished. And something weird happened: I began cooking. Actual meals. With parsley and everything. Pretty good too, if I do say so myself. But the strangest meal of all was The Too Easy Chicken . . . I have this recipe, see, adapted fromThe Barefoot Countessa (and I can relate to that) and after the kitchen was operational, diner be damned, I was going to cook the bird myself! TOO EASY CHICKEN
Then I froze, in front of the stove, with the pan in mid-air, riddled with doubt. This had all been easy. Too easy. What had I forgotten to do? I wracked my overheated brain (standing in front of a hot stove is not a cooking tip I'd recommend) but couldn't come up with anything. Then I realized what was "wrong." It had all been "too easy" because the kitchen was now functional. I didn't have to continually move and shift and search. I wasn't bumping into the dishwasher and dropping the butter while I dug around for the pan; I knew where it was: in the cabinet over the refrigerator. Good heavens, did this mean that if I organized the rest of my life, paying bills and filing taxes would be easier too? Well, let's not get carried away. Meanwhile, that all-too-rare phenomenon had occurred: This kitchen made such an impression on me that I wrote a song parody about it that was performed at my wedding by my cousin Pat Ciserano, the blues singer. Yes, dearies, Lou and I lived in sin — with a dilapidated kitchen no less —for a long time before we got hitched. Get over it. Here's the song, sung to the tune of Cry Me A River: Now you say you're hungry Now you say you'll build it You drove me Now, you say you're finished Pat had fun vamping that last line, as you might imagine.
If you want the recipe for meatloaf, go to If you want to hear about the wedding: |
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Comments
- I'll Drink To That!
I most definitely plan to vote but it is our choic... - I'll Drink To That!
Just thought that the correlation between greatnes... - OH, SUGAR!
Don't worry, Mr. P. I never count calories and I w... - I'll Drink To That!
I'm going to vote, but not on caffeine vs. alcohol... - OH, SUGAR!
Pat, stop counting grams, etc. Portion control is ... - OH, SUGAR!
And you were eating the cottage cheese because you... - OH, SUGAR!
I see what you mean: there's 3 grams of fat in the... - OH, SUGAR!
This is in the same category of advice as A piece ... - OH, SUGAR!
Do what I do - don't wear your glasses when you ea... - It's No Yoke!
If it ever does, I'm going to document it and keep...
Bitter Patter
Friday the 13th
Came and went.
I bought a lottery ticket
And didn't win.
Reread
THE 13th FLOOR
To remind myself how lucky I am.
WENT FISHING!
Well, eating fish anyway.
And swimming, although not with the fishes in the Uncle Nunzio sense.
Back from the Caribbean.
But don't be TOO jealous:
My tan has already faded.
Besdies, before we left, I had to go through
THE ELEVEN STAGES OF PACKING
Which is not for sissies.
Just got a call from
(Gasp!) the dental hygienist.
Hasn't she read:
A DEVOUT COWARD
GOES TO THE DENTIST
Do NOT Google Santorum.
I warned you . . .
Just as I posted I WAS THE GIRL PHANTOM, I found a website called The Ghost Who Blogs about The Phantom comics:
http://falkonthewildside.blogspot.com
Writing Comics. . .
Was a small but wonderful part of my checkered career, and doing a post about it brought back a lot of great memories. If you know any other women in NYC who wrote — or are writing — comics, tell me how to get in touch with them.
I'm on a watching-old-movies kick these days.
Great way to lose yourself.
If you're lucky, you'll never be found.
REVIEWS TO PERUSE
I'm All Right, Jack:
"Jack" is not just all right, it's totally delightful and fresh as a daisy after all these years (made in 1959), with Sellers, although not technically the lead, giving the brilliant performance that launched him as an international star. He plays an all-too-zealous union leader and father of a blonde bombshell who falls for Stanley, the British Upper Class Twit played, also to perfection, by Ian Carmichael, who you might remember from the Lord Peter Wimsey series. The makeout scenes between the the Twit and the Bombshell are priceless. But what is Stanley doing in this working class atmosphere anyway? Working. And too well at that. Forced by financial circumstances too dreary to discuss, he gets a job in his uncle's factory and messes things up for the other workers by, well, working, and thus making his fellow employees look bad. The film takes a big shot at unions — but also at management: they are manipulating white-collar thieves who'll do anything for a buck. Or a pound. Except for the ones, like Major Hitchcock, played by Terry Thomas, who are just plain lazy and inept. Needless to say, Stanley foils everybody's plans, labor and management alike, to my great joy and delight. Oh, and on top of everything else, Margaret Rutherford plays dotty dowager Aunt Dolly. Delicious!
The Big Lebowski:
What can you say that hasn't been said before: brilliant, inspired, with some of the most memorable lines ever to come out of a movie, the most quoted being "The Dude abides." Oh yes. For anyone who hasn't yet seen the film, and it's now out in a special Blu-Ray edition if that floats your bowling ball. The Dude in question, played to perfection by Jeff Bridges, is an out-of-work pothead who is roughed up and has his rug destroyed by some thugs mistaking him for another, bigger, Lebowski. The Dude is really upset about this because, man, "that rug really tied the room together," which The Dude says with all seriousness and not a trace of irony, a great comic touch considering the condition his condition is in. Oh, and besides "Just Dropped In," all the music is perfect for the film. The plot, according to Wikipedia, which has been known to be wrong, is "loosely based on Raymond chandler's novel, The Big Sleep." Could be. But who cares. It involves a bowling competition, "the occasional acid flashback," a trophy wife, a group of German nihilists, a kidnapping gone awry, a mad millionaire and his lackey, in another great performance by Philip Seymour Hoffman. Actually, they're all great performances. Never a fan of John Goodman before or since, he is brilliant in this film. And so are John Turturro, overacting his little heart out, Steve Buscemi in a nerdy, needy role that makes you marvel at his star turn in Boardwalk Empire, and even the actors in the smaller parts, especially Julianne Moore and Sam Elliott. Elliott plays The Stranger (God? Everyman? The part of us that roots for the bad boy?) who elicits from Bridges the immortal words, "The Dude abides." Which prompts The Stranger to comment to the audience: "Don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I sure hope he makes the finals." We'll never know about the bowling trophy because there's never been a sequel to this 1998 film by the great Coen Brothers, and I hope there never will be. It just abides, as all great films do.
Prince of the City:
Okay, the criticisms of this movie are not totally unfounded: it's too long, and Treat Williams may have overacted a bit, although I found him so deliciously charming I couldn't care less, and there's one part concerning the Jerry Orbach character I just didn't understand. But get over it, The New Yorker, this is one powerful movie. And yes, Dog Day Afternoon it isn't, but what it? The DVD has a great special feature with Williams (I so want to call him Treat) and Sidney (what the hell: I once made a meatloaf sandwich for the man) that explains a lot about filmmaking in general and this movie in particular. Also, Sidney's views on good and evil, and how things are not so black and white as you think. I loved it.
Bad Day At Black Rock:
Recommended on TCM by Robert Osbourne as a film he originally had no interest in seeing, then loved it, and by Alex Baldwin, who pointed out the great actors in the cast, including Lee Marvin, Ernest Brognine and Dean Jagger. Well, after all that, I had to like it, right? I did. A lot. It was a Good Day On My Couch.
Behind the Scenes Stuff: Spencer Tracey was off drinking and wouldn't commit to the film until the producers (who wanted him desperately) told him that they had Alan Ladd, at which point Tracey grabbed it. He was perfect for the part, wearing a dark suit and tie the entire time in a western setting, pulling it off perfectly. Other than that "fashion statement," the film makes a strong case against racism: the hatred of the Japanese during WW2. See it.
Song of The Thin Man:
I usually like these frothy, silly, suave, utter unrealistic films from the 30s and 40s, with William Powell and Myrna Loy as the couple we'd all like to be — if only we had the looks, brains, money, a huge capacity for drinking and a dog like Asta. But this one was a stinker, rather than a stinger, or maybe a sinker, because it turned out to be the last, not to mention the least, in the series. Watch any of the others four sequels, but not this one: Even the pooch jumped the shark.
The Children's Hour:
It had its moments, and just looking at Audrey Hepburn makes life worth living, but mostly I kept thinking that the play, by Lillian Hellman, was so much better. It's about two young women runing a school for girls, who are accused by a hateful little brat of being (GASP!) lesbians. And although the closest we get in this 1961 production to using that actual term is the word "unnatural," it's enough to ruin their lives. A young Shirley McClaine is worth seeing in this, and James Garner, and Audrey Hepburn is, well, Audrey Hepburn. The rumor of the love that dare not speak its name is totally untrue — or is it? And I'll say no more, because you should see the movie for yourself, imperfect as it may be, as is Life Itself.
by martinis alone,
I like this blog:
grapesandgreens.blogspot.com
BITTER PATTER
Click on:
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from the past.

Like the new kitchen I got a few years ago.
I washed the chicken, rubbed sea salt inside, shoved a whole head of unpealed garlic, lots of fresh rosemary, thyme, and a halved lemon into the cavity (one half plugging up the you-should-pardon-the-expression hole), melted 2 tablespoons of butter and slathered every inch of the bird, salted it, surrounded it with sliced white onion, tied the legs and tucked the wings under, then picked up the pan and headed towards the pre-heated 350 oven, intending to test it after an hour or so. (The meat thermometer should read 160.)





Comments
I like chicken as well as chicks.
Italian sausage would also be okay :-)
But thank you for your comment . . .
You got to the stove, you froze and wrote a brilliant song parody (which I may use on the radio, giving you credit, of course)so who needs chicken if you can write good stuff like that? Kudos!
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