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They walk among us. Or to be more exact, we walk among us.
We are the women of a certain age whose life experiences could, under normal circumstances, make us bitter. But what is normal these days, anyway? And why be bitter? There are other options . . .
Hey, I could be bitter and then some. Failed relationships (and I'm not even counting the marriages), aging parents who aren't getting any younger, and neither am I (I still have an hourglass figure, but the sand has definitely shifted), jobs that didn't exactly work out, dental bills. I could go on.
So why am I not bitter? Beats me. It's not drugs: gave that up a long time ago. Don't have the perfect life even now. It's pretty good, but it's not all Hallmark Moments either. Lost money just like everyone else in the market, and my 401K is, yes, more like a 101K these days.
And yet. Things are actually quite funny when you look at them in a certain way.
If it will make you feel better, tell me what's making you bitter, and
I'll write about that, or you can comment on the posts. Just say
what's on your mind. You don't have to be funny (unless you want to be)
because that's my job.
Send anything you like from this blog to another Woman Who Walks Among Us. She could use a laugh, too.
And if you need an additional dose of silliness yourself, you can visit me at www.womanaroundtown.com, where I write the Laugh Lines column.
These women are not bitter — chilly, maybe, but not bitter!
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It's my theory — and it's only a theory, folks— that it's very important
to do small but nasty things on a regular basis. The thing is, if you
don't, then the nasty feelings build up and up, and at some point
you'll have to do something really, really nasty. Mean, even. If left
unchecked, this situation could actually make you . . . bitter.
Let's face it, you're always a little annoyed at someone. That
loudmouthed woman on the bus who talks incessantly on her cellphone
about nothing even remotely interesting. That idiot in your office who
dumps all his work on you and never loses his job.
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Olivia would understand.
As a result of watching far too many episodes of too many versions of Law and Order, I have become incredibly jaded, desensitized to the viciousness of violent crime, and suspicious of everyone. But that's not the problem.
The thing that really gets to me about these shows is that when they search a person's apartment (that's "toss the perp's crib," to you,bub), looking for a piece of evidence-a ticket to Tahiti or a gun, smoking otherwise — they find the damn thing in what seems like mere moments. "What do we have here, Lennie? Looks like the professor is planning a little sabbatical."
Or, the exact opposite happens: they don't find what they're looking for — and are absolutely sure it isn't there. "The place is clean, Elliott. Let's take a look at the car."
I, on the other hand, am constantly losing things in my own apartment, things that go missing for hours, days, months, years, and in a few sad cases, more than a decade. That poignant phrase, I know it's here someplace, can be heard echoing endlessly through the kingdom.
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And you wonder why men don't wear skirts?
Awhile back, there was a show called "Bravehearts:
Men in Skirts" at the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
As the piece in the Times pointed out, this fashion is really nothing new. Besides kilts, we've already seen caftans,saris, sarongs and various other forms of
skirts being worn by guys through the ages.
But could this be a trend in today's world? Picking right up on this was a CNN piece by Jeanne Most, who used phrases like "skirting the issue" (I love Ms.Most), and showed a clip of Jean Paul Gaultier, who said something about skirts freeing the legs and being less restricting. Plus, it's so fashion forward and we get to look at all those muscular thighs.
Well, this is all fun on that hot young model on the runway, but if you're looking for an actual trend for actual men, don't hold your breath. It will never happen and here's how I know.
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